


im not a monster, but you sure are [FIC DROPPED]

by NerdyUwU



Category: B.A.P
Genre: College AU, M/M, Multi, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, and ghoul junhong, banghim focus, be warned bc there is some bits later on that focus on abuse ig, budding jonglo, but not their current ages, college au but with a big fat twist, established Daejae, fairytale creatures, griffin yongguk, human himchan, i couldn't come up with anything as a title so excuse me if its subpar, i don't have anything planned so im p much writing as i go tbh, ish?, it's kind of slow paced and has a relaxed kind of vibe to it, kumiho youngjae, monster au, neway starting a new bap au series bc im a fool, no use of honorifics bc im just that kind of person lmao, shapeshifter daehyun, sometimes you'll see changes here and there after i post bc im an undecisive bitch, their ages are somewhat accurate, there'll be lil cameos from other people idols and not, tw for harsh language and themes, vampire jongup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-06-27 23:47:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 42,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15695850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdyUwU/pseuds/NerdyUwU
Summary: When humans are no longer seen as 'human', Himchan has a hard time convincing the world he's a monster when he's really not.It's hard living in both worlds.[DROPPED]





	1. i dont need more than i can handle

**Author's Note:**

> Am I starting a new B.A.P fic? Yes, indeed I am. Updates are irregular but I hope you all enjoy it regardless! Excuse grammar mistake and the like, ewe. And yes, I was not kidding, this fanfic will also contain a few heavy themes later.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Himchan's fine with it being the four of them like always. He doesn't need more people around him - it's hard enough already.

_It’s been thirty years since the Earth had been overrun by monsters – creatures of a distant dimension seeking a new refuge after their dimension was broken, leaping into the human one. One would have automatically thought “aliens”, however that was far from the truth. These monsters were the classic monsters and creatures seen in fairytales – dragons, griffins, shapeshifters – everything one was told weren’t real. They were quite real and ruthless. They took apart everything and put it together to suit their needs, adapting human-like qualities (if not already possessing a human-like body) while retaining some monster qualities, talking in the various languages of humans and even doing human-like activities, like school or going to work. Of course, the human-like qualities were necessary to survive, as the environment in this dimension was drastically different to that of the monster dimension; they wouldn’t have survived in their pure forms. They governed themselves in an almost anarchistic way, yet it was organized. Collected. It would have been fine had they lived with humans together in peace, after all who wouldn’t want to live with creatures mentioned only in stories?_

_But, alas, that was far from the current standing. Humans had been reduced to nearly 2% of the population. They’re shunned, forced to live in dilapidated, run down towns that serve as sanctuaries in each city. Their population is managed, whittled down to prevent uprisings. Rebellions would be terrible for the monsters. They’re considered nothing special according to the monsters; they do not possess abilities like monsters, see, so they’re useless. Humans aren’t allowed to exit those sanctuaries for anything, prohibited from going to high quality schools and getting jobs, for the punishment is severe._

_The punishment? Serving as a monsters personal servant for life, being passed around from monster to monster when they were tired._

_It’s best not to get caught._

 

* * *

 

            Himchan stared at himself in the mirror critically, carefully gliding the brush full of green powder against the fish-scale template on his cheek. His brows were furrowed in concentration, lips pursed slightly. “There we go.” He chirped airily, praising himself for the job well done. His cheeks were marred in a green tint, fish-scale designs etched against it. The fish-scale pattern didn’t stop there. It continued down his neck, stopping abruptly where his shirt started and then continuing down the length of his arms. It was just as he’d been doing for the past few years when his parents had stopped doing it for him – when he’d managed to get outside of the sanctuary to live like a monster.

            He wasn’t.

            His parents had managed to fake his identification, classifying him as a monster. Technically, he was an orphan. A monster orphan. Or rather, a human dressed as a monster orphan, who in reality had parents. Except, they lived on the outskirts, away from the bright flowers and tall buildings where there was _freedom_. They’d wanted him to live with a future, to go to college (as he currently was) and be something in a world where humans couldn’t be anything. Himchan gave himself one more lookover and reached for the container with his glasses, pulling them out. It wasn’t like he _needed_ them. But they looked nice.

            For the aesthetic.

Satisfied with the results, the 26-year-old moved away from his bathroom sink, cleaning it up neatly and heading to his living room. His bag hung on his lone kitchen chair – he only needed one, considering he was living alone – and he grabbed it, slinging it over his shoulder. He would be starting his junior year as a music major, going to school as the only human. Not that anyone knew, of course. Not even his closest ‘friends’ knew. He wasn’t sure if he could call them friends. They were monsters, after all. But he’d known the three of them since his middle school days as a prepubescent ‘monster’. They had been the first to welcome him in warm arms when he was just a scared kid, too young to be disguising himself and forced to grow up too fast in a world where humans were nothing.

            The reality had hit him hard as a kid when he heard how the creatures spoke of humans, degrading them to nothing but useless bags of meat, serving only to be killed. He realised then that the world was truly cruel. He’d grown into a cynical man of actions and less words (though others would argue – he talked quite a bit), his smiles polite but never reaching his eyes and his laughter loud but never full.

            Himchan hummed a mindless tune as he pulled his shoes on, his phone giving a quiet ‘ding’ to get his attention. He slipped his phone out and glanced at the notification, his lips quirking into an unconscious smile. Even if he didn’t particularly like monsters, he couldn’t deny he’d grown quite buddy-buddy with his current circle of close friends. Had he been more social like his actual personality, perhaps he would have more. But, he didn’t want the burden of having to try and cover his tracks even more – knowing too many of them would be troublesome. His ‘backstory’ currently was already slightly suspicious. What merman _couldn’t_ swim? Himchan, of course. His parents had told him to say he had some trauma with water which was why he didn’t swim anymore – and Himchan wondered why the hell they chose to disguise him as a merman of _all_ things. Though, he supposed he was thankful for understanding…friends.

 

bbang: _we’ll meet up outside of the school doors to compare classes_

fishchan: _roger that_

            He pocketed his phone and adjusted the bag on his shoulder, exiting his small flat and locking the door behind him. He’d refused to live in the dorms at the college for multiple reasons, which of course, were already obvious. Himchan heaved a sigh as he walked down the empty stairwell, his footsteps echoing loudly in his ears. It seemed as though everyone was either out of the apartment complex or still asleep.

            Himchan almost scoffed. The fact these monsters did _human_ activities and lived like _humans_ made the man want to gag. And then they disregarded humans, treating them like trash.

            It was truly laughable.

            The streets, once he’d exited the complex, were busy, filled with monsters of all kind. Himchan pushed his glasses up and ducked his head slightly, power-walking through the crowds. He avoiding their bodies like the plague, not wanting to accidentally brush against them. While they looked human, it was quite obvious they weren’t with the various monster qualities still attached to them. He pulled a face when he nearly collided with someone, slimy looking claws jutting out of their back like something from a horror film. Himchan picked up the pace. It was hard, not having a car to use. He couldn’t get a license or else he’d be found out almost immediately, which one, sucked ass, and two, would probably get himself taken away without a second of doubt.

            He was lucky the college wasn’t far from his place.

            Himchan followed the path as he had when he was a freshman and a sophomore in the college, avoiding needless conversation. Why monsters even _needed_ to go to college or do anything remotely human was beyond him. He didn’t study their history – he didn’t _care_ for their history. All he knew was that they seemed to absorb and adapt to what they saw on this dimension. And that they aged similarly, though they looked younger and lived longer.

            He was afraid of them and hated them.

            Hated them for how they pushed humans down to levels below the ground. Hated them for how they joked about killing every human off. Hated them for the pure fact that they _came_ to Earth, as if they didn’t have any other dimension to leap to.

            Himchan wandered how the monsters even came. Earth wasn’t even technologically advanced – they didn’t have flying cars or holographs (though, Himchan wished they would for the sake of looking cool) – and it looked like the monsters didn’t have a single wish to try and advance anything.

            It still looked like the same old city before the sudden invasion, even if the buildings looked slightly newer than before.

            “Meow!”

            Himchan’s attention was directed to his feet, his footsteps stopping as he looked down at a cat walking next to him in the midst of the crowd. He sighed softly, recognizing the golden eyes and the goat slit pupils. Not a normal cat, for sure.

            “Daehyun, you know you can’t fool me anymore.” He felt a swirl of anxiety in his stomach, his brain beginning to think of scenarios where he could get caught as human – despite it never happening once in his 26 years of living.

            The cat let out a disappointed huff and stepped away before forming into a young man with shaggy chocolate hair, eyes unnaturally golden – the only tell-tale sign of his monster trait. “You’re no fun, fish breath.” Daehyun whined, crossing his arms and clicking his tongue. “Did you wake up late or something? You’re usually the one to arrive before all of us but Yongguk texted me he’d already arrived.”

            Had he? Himchan pulled out his phone, which he’d put on silence after leaving the house, and saw the text from Yongguk. He let out a sigh and managed to pull off a sheepish expression, scratching his neck. “I…may have overslept a little bit.” He lied. It had been the fish-scale makeup that had taken him forever to do. He made a mental note to purchase more of the green makeup powder as he was running low.

            The shapeshifter cocked a brow but said nothing, shaking his head slightly. “Come on, old man, let’s just go meet up with the others.” Daehyun walked ahead, Himchan faltering slightly before he began to follow the younger man.

            “ _Old man_?” Himchan questioned as they walked, catching up to the younger mans quick stride. “If I’m an old man, you’re a toddler.”     Daehyun laughed and the sound made Himchan’s eye twitch in irritation. His laugh was loud and free and _annoying_ , as if he had not a care in the world. Himchan wished he could say the same.

            Daehyun shrugged his shoulders. “You’re going to be a junior and I’m going to be a sophomore soon. It’s pretty accurate.” He kicked a rock across the ground, the crowd finally dispersing and thinning out, letting Himchan breathe just a bit.

            Himchan grumbled under his breath. “I wish you’d been stomped on in the crowd in that cat form.” Daehyun only gave him a look of mock hurt and placed a hand over his heart (did he even have one?), his golden eyes wide.

            “Rude! Without me, you’d be lonely on the way to the college.”

            He didn’t bother to respond to that. There was no point anyway as they’d reached the entrance of the campus. Yongguk and Youngjae were standing there, waving at the two of them when they walked closer. Himchan waved weakly in return. Daehyun was quick to run over, locking Youngjae in a headlock and giving him a knuckle sandwich – which, ruined the kumiho’s hair. Yongguk managed an amused smile and chuckled, his voice low and the rumble causing the feathers on his neck to flinch slightly.

            “Daehyun, fuck off!” Youngjae finally pushed the shapeshifter off of him, his ears twitching in annoyance, fox-like eyes narrowed. Himchan couldn’t help but think he looked less like a fox but more like a chipmunk, his cheeks protruding slightly from his face.

            Daehyun just grinned before remembering why they were gathered there. “Right. Schedules and shit.” He pulled out a sheet of paper from his back pocket, pursing his lips. “Here’s mine.” He held it out expectantly and Yongguk shook his head slightly.

            “We’re _comparing_ them, not trading, Daehyun.” Yongguk pulled out his own schedule after chastising the younger man, unfolding it and waiting for Youngjae and Himchan to do the same. Youngjae let out a sigh and pulled out his own schedule, the paper crinkled and messy, while Himchan searched for his schedule on his phone, pulling it up.

            “Oh, hey look at that. It’s as if Himchan and Yongguk are in the _same_ grade compared to us.” Youngjae drawled, scoffing at their schedules. Himchan had most of his classes with Yongguk, with the exception of one that he shared with Youngjae. Yongguk too, shared one class with Daehyun, which allowed Himchan to assume there were mixed classes.

            Daehyun chimed in quickly with “and similar major too!”

            That was true. Himchan and Yongguk both were majoring in something music related – Himchan in instruments and Yongguk in musical composing.

            “Awh, I barely get any classes with Youngjae.” Daehyun commented, his shoulders slumping slightly. “Maybe I should switch my major to film too.” Youngjae rolled his eyes.

            “I’m glad I don’t have any with you, you massive headache. Stick to your theatre.” Youngjae responded, fondness and affection evident in his tone.

            Himchan nearly gagged, rolling his eyes. He’d forgotten that interspecies relationships were much more prominent now that the monsters had human forms – Daehyun and Youngjae were no exception. When they’d admitted it back in their freshman year of college, it hadn’t come off as much of a surprise really. It was _obvious_ , the way Daehyun gave Youngjae puppy eyes and the way Youngjae would stare at Daehyun when he thought no one was looking.

            They were just oozing with affection for each other and while…cute (Himchan was loath to admit it, really) it was too mushy.

            Yongguk looked to Himchan, eyes twinkling with amusement and his stomach swooped, leaving him breathless and light. That had been a common occurrence recently (recently being the past two years) and Himchan didn’t know why it happened. He didn’t like Yongguk in that way. He was a friend (something Himchan was also reluctant to admit as they were monsters) and he didn’t _like_ monsters.

            No way, no how.

            Sure, Yongguk was nice. And he didn’t talk about humans like they were dirt on the bottom of his shoe like Daehyun did, but Himchan was resolute. He was not dating anyone who was a monster – which meant he would likely die single and bi, unless he found someone in the human sanctuaries. Though he doubted it, considering how often he went down to visit his parents. Which meant almost never. The last time he’d gone was around 5 years ago and even then he only stayed for a day.

            “Keep the romance in a separate room.” He grumbled. Himchan turned off his phone and moved to put it into his pocket before he was bumped into, his phone clattering to the concrete ground. The other three turned to stare, Youngjae’s ears perked up.

            “Oh- Oh, shit, I’m so sorry!” A voice said as Himchan knelt down to pick his phone up and examine it for damage. Thankfully, nothing. “I didn’t crack your phone or anything, did I?” The voice was raspy and deep yet sounded young, and Himchan looked up only to find himself face-to-face; or rather face-to-neck with someone. The stranger had bright eyes, bordering grey and nearly translucent skin, the tips of his fingers almost completely see through.

            Ghoul? Or perhaps a ghost?

            He managed to force a smile and shook his head. “It’s fine. It’s not broken.”

            Another figure popped up behind the stranger, short and yet more built compared to the taller mans lanky figure. Himchan raised his brows slightly, noticing the shorter males red eyes and the slight hint of fangs poking from beneath his lips.

            Definitely vampire.

            “Junhong,” the shorter stranger said quietly, his voice soft and almost airy, like one would have to strain to hear it. It definitely didn’t bring attention to him and Himchan would have not taken notice of him had he not _seen_ him. “did you figure out where our classes are?”

            The tall one – Junhong – turned red and shook his head, finally looking at the group of older men, his finger coming up to scratch at the nose piercing. “Uhm, sorry again for the phone, but we need help. Me and Jongup don’t know where our classes are.”

            Yongguk stepped forward and nodded slowly. “Freshman?” The two nodded. “Since Daehyun and Youngjae have classes starting soon, me and Himchan can escort you two.” Himchan blinked and turned to Yongguk, his mouth dropping open. He didn’t agree! How could Yongguk just say he would join? Yongguk looked at him and smiled, cocking his head to the side and Himchan grumbled out his agreement reluctantly.

            Hopefully, this didn’t increase his risks of being detected. He was comfortable with being friends with only three people, any more felt excessive.

            Youngjae pursed his lips pensively, looking the two freshman over and then shrugging. “Well, since me and Daehyun’s _not shared_ classes are starting soon, we better head out.” The kumiho grabbed Daehyun’s arm, dragging him away before the older could protest not being in on the ‘touring crew’.

            Sometimes, Himchan wondered if Daehyun’s acts of stupidity were to cover up his actual smarts – the shapeshifter could be downright cunning if he needed to.

            Jongup – as Junhong has mentioned – stared at the two with a confused look, his fangs poking at his bottom lip. He opened his mouth to say something but decided against it, clearing his throat. Himchan’s blood ran cold, anxiety swarming through his veins. Could vampires smell humans? He’d heard of that in stories and fairytales, but was it true? It was the first time he’d ever seen a vampire. “So…lead the way? Here’s our schedules. We have the same classes.” Jongup handed over a neat piece of paper, adjusting the gym bag over his shoulder. It made sense for him to carry it, Himchan mused, taking notice of their major.

            Dance.

            Really, why did monsters have to be so _human-like_ nowadays?

 

* * *

 

            Junhong, Himchan learned, was a ghoul _and_ a nervous chatterbox, rattling off incomplete sentences and questions without giving them the proper time to answer. The two freshmen walked between Himchan and Yongguk, though Jongup was further from Himchan, walking next to Yongguk. Jongup offered small bits of conversation as they traversed the halls, searching for their first class. Neither Yongguk or Himchan really managed to answer Junhong’s flow of questions, though Yongguk did hum softly a few times.

            Turned out Jongup was 23, older than Junhong but a freshman as his habit of skipping and sleeping in high-school held him back a year. As a vampire, the younger man didn’t _eat_ food but did have a steady stream of blood as a result of his family owning a few human servants (Himchan shuddered).

            Junhong on the other hand, was 21, young and naïve. He tended to mumble his words and mix them together, making it a bit hard to understand him. The ghoul had gone to the same school as Jongup and graduated with him as a result of the older male getting held back. And coincidentally, they were roommates, just how Daehyun, Youngjae and Yongguk were – all five of them in the same dorm building.

            Himchan was the only odd duck out.

            “Here’s your first class.” Yongguk’s deep voice broke the incessant chatter spilling like a waterfall from Junhong’s mouth, the four of them stopping to look at the empty lecture room. Junhong peeked at the surroundings and then looked at Jongup, who nodded slowly in understanding despite the lack of words being passed between the two of them.

            Junhong pointed to the next class on his schedule and Himchan pursed his lips. It was the mixed class, one he didn’t share with Yongguk. “That one is further down the hall to the left. What about your third class?”

            Jongup furrowed his brows. “Do we need to know that now? We don’t have that class until tomorrow.”

            Himchan gave him a pointed look and Jongup backed down, shrugging. “It’s better to know everything now then bumble around like a fool. Your classes start earlier than me and Yongguk’s, so either you’ll have to ask someone else to show you around or look like a fool.”

            “Fine, show us the way to our other classes.” Jongup relented, shoving his neatly folded schedule into his pocket as they began walking again.

            Junhong went right back to asking questions, the same ones he’d asked before, but this time he gave them enough time to answer. “So, uhm, what are your names?”

            Yongguk answered for the both of them, pointing to himself and then Himchan. “Yongguk. And he’s Himchan. We’re both juniors. The other two were Daehyun and Youngjae, both sophomores.”

            “And idiots.” Himchan added, huffing loudly as they approached the class and stopped for the two younger students to look at and memorize. “If you two ever get lost, just ask around. I don’t think any of the students bite.”

            Jongup snickered at that and nodded, his hands stuffed in his hoodie pockets. They continued walking one Junhong pointed out their last class and the ghoul resumed his questioning. “What kind of monster are you, Himchan? It’s obvious Yongguk is a griffin because of his wings, but…uhm, you’re a little more confusing.”

            Himchan scratched at his neck and hoped to whatever higher being the makeup he’d worked so hard to perfect wouldn’t come off. He looked at his fingernails and breathed a heavy sigh of relief when it hadn’t. “Me? Merman. What did you think I was?”

            “A swamp…man.” Junhong answered honestly, causing Yongguk to rumble with low laughter. Himchan’s stomach swooped again.

            “Well, it’s close enough.” Himchan shook his head and sighed, though his lips were threatening to pull into a smile. Even if he hated to admit it, Junhong was certainly charming in an awkward, clumsy kind of way.

            Junhong smiled sloppily, his cheeks rosy in embarrassment. “What do you guys major in?”

            Himchan answered before Yongguk could even open his mouth. “Music. Well, Yongguk majors in musical composing and I’m more geared towards to instruments.” His parents had passed down their love for music when he was little, teaching him to play guitar and piano, though he’d recently begun to pick up violin and other intruments. “It’s really just music composition but geared towards instruments and their history compared to Yongguk’s.” Junhong nodded along. He didn’t know why he was just telling the younger man anything, considering they probably weren’t going to run into each other again, but he supposed the questions weren’t too invasive.

            “Ah. Here’s your last class location.” Yongguk interrupted again, causing the group to stop and wait for Junhong and Jongup to nod in affirmation once they’d memorized the area. “Well…that’s all of their classes.” The older man glanced at his phone and looked at Himchan, lips turning up into a smile. “Me and Himchan have a glass starting soon, so we’ll be taking our leave first. Don’t get lost, okay?”

            Jongup and Junhong nodded, responding with a “we won’t!” simultaneously.

            Yongguk gave them a polite tip of his head, which Himchan mimicked and then stood next to him, nudging his shoulder. “Well then, we should get going, right Channie?” Himchan grunted an affirmative and walked side by side with the griffin, his skin burning where Yongguk had brushed against it. The anxiety of being caught lessened as they walked further away from the two freshman, their steps matching as they headed down to their first class together.

            “Himchan?” Yongguk pulled him from his internal monologue once more and he looked over to the (barely) older man, tilting his head slightly to let him know to continue. “Are you going to head home after class or are you going to go get lunch?”

            Himchan mulled that over for a moment. “Uhm, I’m not sure yet. I think I might go home. I still have leftovers from when I last cooked.”

            Yongguk fell silent for a moment and then looked away, scratching his neck, the pale white feathers rustling slightly with the movement. “Ah…You wouldn’t be against it if I asked you out for lunch, would you?” The griffins wings gave an awkward, nervous flinch and Himchan raised a brow.

            “Uh, sure, I wouldn’t mind. What were you having in mind?”

            “Barbecue?”

            Himchan nodded, agreeing. “Sure, I’ll join you for lunch. Barbecue place down the street from here?”

            Yongguk gave a short nod as they entered the lecture hall, taking seats next to each other. “Yeah. I’ll text you when I get out from my last class?” Ah, of course. The one they didn’t share.

            “Sure thing, Bbang.”

            Yongguk smiled and Himchan’s mind reeled into confusion.


	2. it's okay, i'm strong like that

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Himchan is strong. He's always been strong - it's in his name, isn't it?

             Exiting his final class of the day, Himchan did not expect to run into the freshmen he and Yongguk toured earlier. Especially not in the way that was eerily similar to this morning. Junhong was half bent, his head hung low as he apologized profusely for bumping into Himchan. Again. Himchan kneeled on the ground, picking up his fallen papers – mostly his class syllabi – and notebooks. Jongup too, was on the ground and helping the older man pick them right up.

            “Junhong- Junhong, it’s _fine_ ,” Himchan grabbed the papers Jongup was holding, trying to console the ghoul at the same time. Junhong stopped apologizing momentarily, looking up at him with wide eyes before apologizing again for apologizing so much. Himchan had half the mind to whack Junhong with the stack of papers in his hand but decided against it when he noticed Jongup touch the younger mans arm gently, effectively shutting him up.

            Jongup took his spot next to the taller monster, giving Himchan a slight bow. “Thank you again for this morning, Himchan.”

            Himchan shook his head slightly, lips quirking into a polite smile. “It’s okay. Well, thank you, Jongup. Junhong, it’s _fine_ , again, don’t apologize. I should get going since I have to grab lunch with Yongguk.” The two freshmen gave a bow once again and Himchan turned on his heel, walking away from them in order to get to where Yongguk was waiting for him.

            The vampire turned to Junhong, his nose scrunching up slightly but he stayed quiet. With a tip of his head, Jongup motioned for the two of them to head back or grab lunch, Junhong circling his arm around the shorter mans shoulder and smiling wide – even if it looked a bit nervous. “Lunch it is then, Jongup! Let’s order takeout when we get to the dorms.” Jongup smiled slightly and leaned into the ghouls cool touch, agreeing with a nod as they walked away; though his head turned back slightly to catch one last glimpse at Himchan.

 

* * *

 

          Yongguk waved to Himchan as he approached, the man unable to refuse and waving back. “Sorry, I ran into the two freshmen from this morning so I ran a little later than I wanted to.” Himchan scratched the back of his head, chuckling softly. “Junhong bumped into me again and knocked all my papers out of my hand. Kind of like deja-vu.” The griffin chuckled and stretched his arms, the wings on his back flexing with the movement.

            “Mmnh, it’s okay. I didn’t wait long, I just got out of class myself. Daehyun bolted out of the class as fast as he could when it ended.”

            Himchan snorted. Youngjae had done the same thing, leaving him in the dust and saying something about going on a date with Daehyun. Or something along those lines – Himchan hadn’t really bothered to pay attention. “Well, then I guess we should get going, huh?” Yongguk nodded and the two one more walked together, steps matching each other, though this time Himchan made sure to put a slight distance between them so they wouldn’t brush shoulders. “So, how was your class with Daehyun?” That class and then one of their own major classes were the only classes they didn’t have together, so Himchan allowed himself tap into his curiosity and ask.

            Yongguk pursed his lips, hands stuffed in his jacket pockets. “It was…interesting. I’m beginning to wonder why I signed up for a History of the Liberal Arts class, honestly. It’s a class full of writing papers and I don’t even _need_ the class, honestly.” His voice was almost whiny but Yongguk never whined. “And, Daehyun is actually surprisingly quiet when he’s in class. I was surprised.”

            “Well, Youngjae’s the opposite then. All throughout our theory of arts class he didn’t stop chattering _once_. But he still managed to answer every question the professor threw at him. Even though it was all music related.” The shapeshifter and kumiho were always full of surprises, even throughout all the years he knew them. Yongguk though…Yongguk was more predictable. Stable. He did things after thinking ahead and Himchan felt more comfortable around him even if he was a monster. Yongguk had a mindset that Himchan could go along with and their silences never were awkward, filled with familiarity and understanding.     

            Sometimes Yongguk needed quiet. And Himchan didn’t mind it.

            “They do say opposites attract,” Yongguk commented idly, laughter evident in his voice. “so, I guess they make a good pair since they’re pretty opposite of each other.”

            Himchan snorted loudly, his hands shoved in his back pockets. “They’re both loud and annoying, I don’t see what’s so opposite about them.”

            _And they both dislike humans._ Daehyun more-so, but it still sent icy anxiety through Himchan’s stomach. Yongguk didn’t hate them, which Himchan supposed gave him great comfort and was what made him more comfortable to be around. But regardless, he was still a monster, wasn’t he?

            Yongguk chuckled quietly. “So mean, Channie.”

            Himchan’s stomach swooped. He wished Yongguk would stop calling him nicknames – they made him sick to his stomach, but he couldn’t tell him to stop. He’d been letting the older man call him variations of his name since they were children. “It’s just the truth.” He stopped outside the barbecue place, pulling the door open and letting Yongguk through first. Yongguk thanked him quietly and Himchan followed behind him, shutting the door as they wandered through the restaurant and searched for a place to sit.

            “Here is okay, right, Himchan?” Yongguk asked, pointing to a table and Himchan nodded. He didn’t really mind, but he was worried that he would start sweating and the makeup would begin to run.

            He should have baked his face before leaving his house.

            The two of them sat down, Himchan slightly further away from the grill and an elderly woman came over. Himchan blinked in surprise, trying to make sure he wasn’t seeing things wrong because that was a _human_. The barbecue place had never had any human employees – Himchan and Yongguk visited practically any time they had free time and this was news to them.

            Of course, it wasn’t uncommon for large business owners to use human servants they owned as employees – but they weren’t paid. Himchan felt sick to his stomach again and he forced a polite smile onto his face. The woman looked middle-aged, older than Himchan for sure, and her smile never quite reached her eyes which were deep set in her face, rimmed with dark circles. A scar ran down her cheek to her chin. It looked fresh.

            “What would you two gentleman like?”

            Yongguk looked at Himchan and he merely mouthed ‘the regular’. The griffin turned to the woman and rattled off their menu. “4 servings of pork and then 2 servings of beef, as well as the usual side dishes.” He watched as the woman walked away before turning to Himchan, confusion written across his face. “I didn’t know the owner of the establishment had a human.”

            Himchan shot him a wary smile. “Neither did I. I guess she got caught and the owner was lucky enough to get her.” The words tasted like bile in his mouth and he wanted to puke.

            Monsters truly were despicable.

            The griffin gave a distressed ruffle of his wings and cleared his throat, eager to move off of the topic. He’d always noticed how defensive Himchan got when humans were mentioned. “So, where do you think Daehyun and Youngjae went for their date?” Yongguk asked, prying the others attention away from the fact there was a human working here.

            Himchan fidgeted and opened his mouth before shutting it, his gaze focusing behind Yongguk. “Here.” He finally answered, his voice coming out strained and defeated. Youngjae and Daehyun were in the restaurant, though they hadn’t noticed the two of them yet – it wouldn’t be hard though, considering Yongguk was the only monster with wings in the entire establishment currently. Yongguk turned his head and caught sight of Daehyun and Youngjae, pursing his lips slightly. His lunch with his friend was going to be ruined now!

            It seemed the shapeshifter and the kumiho had taken notice of them and Himchan cursed the fact Yongguk stood out so much in the crowd of people with his bronze coloured wings tipped white and his black hair cut so short it was almost a buzz-cut. But perhaps he was at fault too – he was the only one with bright platinum hair, green scales and black rimmed glasses. “Yongguk! Himchan!” Daehyun chirped loudly, hurrying over and dragging Youngjae behind him. They pulled up two chairs, sitting side-by-side with the other two. Youngjae grumbled under his breath, complaining about the fact his date with Daehyun was supposed to be just the two of them and no one else.

            “Great, just who we needed.” Himchan drawled, though his foot tapped the floor nervously. They already ordered.

            Youngjae seemed to realise that and he nudged Daehyun. “They probably already ordered their servings – why are we interrupting them? It’s supposed to be a date between _us_ , Dae. That’s what dates are.” As if on cue for a horror movie, the human came right back, spotting the new people at the table and set down the side-dishes and meat servings for Yongguk and Himchan.

            Almost immediately Daehyun’s demeanor changed and he crossed a leg over the other, leaning back into the seat and giving the human an ugly stare. “Wow, I didn’t think they’d hire human scum to work here. I guess you learn new things every day.” Himchan repressed a flinch, his fist curling up under the table and his jaw tensing.

            The lady forced a smile on her face. “Would you like to add more servings to the order?”

            Youngjae nodded and slapped Daehyun’s thigh roughly, sending him a look. “Yeah sure. A serving of you cut into pieces.” Yongguk sent Youngjae a withering glare and the kumiho’s ears laid flat, grunting out an apology. “Fine. Add the same amount of servings of whatever these two ordered.” He motioned to Himchan and then Yongguk, the woman quickly hurrying off after writing it down.

            Himchan felt like puking and crying, his heart threatening to burst out of his chest, his expression controlled despite the storm happening inside. Daehyun deflated and let out a heavy sigh. “Damn, ruined my fun. I guess they decided to spice up the employees, huh? Never thought the owner of the place would actually get a human. She looks to old to be working here, don’t you think Youngjae?”

            Youngjae shrugged his shoulders. “She’d be better off cleaning bathrooms, it’s where humans belong anyway – cleaning shit, I mean.”

            Yongguk placed a strip of the meat on the grill, the loud sizzle giving Himchan something to focus on instead of the words floating from Daehyun’s and Youngjae’s mouths. Of course, he’d been hearing them since he’d known them as children. He should have been used to them, but it still _hurt_ to be reminded that they couldn’t give two shits about humans. Even if he knew Yongguk thought the opposite, he wondered how the griffin stayed friends with the other two – or maybe he too, secretly thought lowly of humans. Himchan only put up with it because they were people close to him, the only people he was comfortable with, the ones he’d pretty much _grown_ up with.

            If he lost them, he’d be alone – fighting the world on his own, struggling to not get caught. They’d all helped him at one point or another, backing his stories up or fibbing for him on more than one occasion. Himchan supposed he owed them one.

            “You shouldn’t be talking like that, Youngjae.” Yongguk murmured quietly, his eyes looking at the sizzling meat and not at Youngjae. Despite this, Youngjae shut up. Yongguk’s tone, while soft, held superiority in it. “Especially not in public and while on a date.”

            The kumiho sputtered out an apology – half assed at that – and looked to Daehyun. It was the first time Yongguk had ever shut them up like that. Usually he would just stay quiet and turn a blind ear, letting the two younger monsters blabber on. Daehyun shrugged, letting the topic drop as the human woman came back and set the new set of servings down, giving a polite nod – which Himchan mirrored – and then leaving.

            “Not even a ‘you’re welcome’,” Daehyun muttered bitterly under his breath, reaching over and plucking a piece of meat from the grill, popping it into his mouth. Yongguk sent him another look and the shapeshifter huffed. “Fine. Anyway, how were classes for the first day?”

            Himchan reached out to grab a piece of stir-fried radish from the small bowl, chewing on it slowly before answering. “Like always. They just passed out the syllabus and told us what to expect.” He popped another piece of the stir-fried radish into his mouth and then paired it with another piece of meat that Yongguk was grilling. “Why are you taking Theory of Arts, Youngjae? Aren’t you a film major?”

            Youngjae let out a loud sigh and nabbed a piece of pork that Daehyun was eyeing, the shapeshift letting out a whine. “Because, apparently if you take any art related major you have to take a theory of arts class. Fucking pain in the ass – I would have taken it freshman year had I known.”

            “Yeah, I know that. But why are you taking theory of arts relating to _music_?”

            Daehyun furrowed his brows. “You’re taking a theory of arts class relating to music, Jae?” Youngjae nodded and stuffed his mouth with another piece of pork, chuckling softly at the annoyed glare he got from Yongguk for stealing it from him.

            “Yeah, I am. Hey, just because I’m a film major doesn’t mean I can’t indulge in the other arts. I like music.”

            “So, you don’t _mind_ taking a theories of arts class then.” Himchan pointed out, motioning his chopsticks at the younger monster.

            “Damn, you caught me. Yeah, if it’s music than I don’t mind it. It was either music or painting. And painting is fucking boring.”

            Yongguk jutted in, a piece of beef hanging from his chopstick. “Painting is hard and produces results that can lead you to another world, so I don’t think it’s boring. It’s just not made for some people, like a lot of things in the world. It’s art within art.”

            Daehyun snorted and wrapped a few pieces of meat in a lettuce leaf, filling it with some garlic and radish. “Right, whatever you say, Mr. Philosopher. Fuck, can we get some drinks or something? Soju?”

            “Nah, I want bokbunja.” Youngjae muttered, grabbing some beef and feeding it to Daehyun who accepted readily.

            Himchan hummed. “I agree with bokbunja, but soju goes with meat more.” Yongguk gave him a look and chuckled.

            “Your alcohol tolerance for soju is terrible, Channie. Are you sure?” Himchan placed a hand over his heart and huffed, feigning hurt. Yongguk only laughed some more.

            Daehyun pursed his lips. “Listen, let’s just go with soju. Having bokbunja with meat is like having makgeolli with soup.” Youngjae pulled a face, opening his mouth to protest before Yongguk shut him up.

            “Let’s just go for beer.” They all agreed without hesitation, stopping the upcoming argument between whether bokbunja or soju was better. Yongguk motioned for the human worker to come over, flashing her a polite smile and requesting four cans of beer. She came back a few minutes later, setting their beers down in front of them and scurrying away to help another table of monsters. It was then that Himchan noticed it.

            “She’s the only one on shift.”

            Yongguk raised his brows and looked around, his mouth forming a small ‘o’ in realization. “You’re right. She is the only one working. Did the owner drop all of his monster workers?”

            Daehyun scoffed, his lips curling up into a sneer. “Of course a human replaces monsters. How annoying. The owner should have just let monsters work instead of replacing them with one human. But then, maybe it’s a good thing. She’ll die sooner from exhaustion.” Himchan reached out for his drink shakily, his body hot and cold, the anxiety suffocating him.

            The thought came to him every so often about Daehyun – whether or not his ‘friend’ would hesitate to kill him if he found out. It made Himchan ever more-so determined to not let them find out. Ever.

            He regretted bringing the topic up.

            “You can’t say that, Daehyun.” Yongguk chided, lips pulled into a frown. “You’re ruining the atmosphere.”

            “What atmosphere?” He countered, sipping his drink idly and then running a hand through his dark hair, ruffling it. “Jesus, Yongguk, sometimes I wonder why you bother defending those dirty animals.” Youngjae rested a hand on Daehyun’s arm – even he knew that that was going to far, talking back to Yongguk. The shapeshifter huffed quietly into his drink, avoiding eye contact with the older man.

            The air felt cold, yet Himchan was sweating.

 

* * *

 

            Himchan shoved his hands into his back pockets again, his stomach feeling warm from the food and alcohol (he didn’t drink enough o get tipsy or drunk). He walked side-by-side with Yongguk, the two younger rascals running off earlier and leaving the two of them to pay for the meal. Himchan still felt sick to his stomach, like he always did whenever Daehyun spoke like that.

            “They’re truly a pair of something, huh, Chan?” Yongguk looked over, lips quirked in amusement.

            He only shrugged and looked up at the night sky, the stars twinkling brightly and freely, as if mocking him for being stuck in a world he didn’t want to be born in. He hadn’t realised time had passed so quickly, with their classes ending around 4 and them staying at the barbecue place later than expected with he arrival of the other two. “Sure. They certainly managed to fuck up the atmosphere and run off without even chipping in to pay.”

            Yongguk chuckled softly and stretched his wings, the moonlight bouncing off of them and making them glimmer, the slight wind rustling them silently. “It’s okay. I’ll make them pay the next time we all go out together. Maybe we should just leave early as payback.”

            “Sounds like a plan.” Himchan pressed a hand to his neck and pulled it away, his eyes widening a fraction when the green powder showed up on his hand. He had begun sweating in the barbecue place, so it was reasonable for it to start coming off. He just hoped it hadn’t ended up on his clothes. It probably had. Himchan feigned a shiver and wrapped his arms around him, scrunching his shoulders up. “’s pretty chilly at night, isn’t it?”

            The griffin glanced over and raised a brow. “It’s not even that cold, Himchan.” Despite his words, Yongguk was already peeling off his jacket and handing it over. “Sometimes I forget you get cold and hot easily. It’s part of you being a merman, isn’t it?”

            Himchan nodded, taking the jacket and pulling it on, successfully covering the makeup stains on his shirt collar and hiding a portion of his neck. It smelled like him, strong cologne mixed with something so undeniably _Yongguk_. Himchan wasn’t sure what to do – it made his head spin. “Mmnh…I have trouble regulating my temperature.” It was a blatant lie. “I’ll be sure to wash it and give it back as soon as possible.”

            “Ah, of course.” Yongguk stopped outside the entrance to Himchan’s apartment complex, forcing the human to stop as well and turn on his heel to face him. “Well, I guess this is where we part, huh? I’ll see you tomorrow morning. Send me a text when you’re awake. I was thinking of driving you.”

            Himchan blinked and shoved his hands into the pockets of the jacket. “Drive me? I didn’t know you got a car.”

            The older man laughed, a hand coming up to run through his short hair. It looked awkward, considering his hairstyle. “It’s a motorcycle. It’s uncomfortable to drive a car because of these,” Yongguk motioned to his wings, “but motorcycles give me more room.”

            “You have a motorcycle license?”

            Yongguk nodded, chuckling. “Sorry, I kept it a secret from all of you. I wanted to surprise you all, but I couldn’t help but tell you. Just imagine the looks on Daehyun and Youngjae’s faces.”

            _Daehyun would have been jealous_.

            Himchan pursed his lips and slowly nodded. “I’ll text you then to grab a ride in the morning. Goodnight, Yongguk.”

            “Goodnight, Channie.”

            Himchan turned around and walked up the stairs, peering behind him and watching Yongguk wave before walking away. He hurried up the stairs and unlocked his door, pulling off the jacket and folding it over his chair, setting his bag down (which, thanks to Jongup, had his papers and books back inside) on the table. He kicked off his shoes and grabbed the jacket and his bag once more, heading to his room after dropping the jacket into the laundry. Tossing his bag under his desk – with the promise of doing his homework tomorrow night – Himchan grabbed a change of clothes and walked to the showers.

            There, under the flow of warm water washing away the makeup on his face, neck and arms, Himchan broke down into loud sobs. The anxiety and suffocation finally forcing themselves out in the form of loud hiccupping wails, tears mixing with soap and water.

            But it’s okay. He’s gone through the routine for almost 26 years. He’ll be fine tomorrow morning, listening to Daehyun and Youngjae with a steeled façade, and going through his day like he has done always.

            He’s strong like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bokbunja - Korean fruit wine made from bokbunja berries (Korean black raspberries)  
> Makgeolli - Korean rice wine


	3. i just want a taste of freedom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Himchan's stable defensives begin to crumble slowly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oomf, starting from today my update schedule will be wonky. College starting soon and all that jazz I gotta prepare for. Also! A quick question! Since a majority of this story is going to be from Himchan's perspective, do you guys want me to include some chapters where everything is focused through the lens of one of the others? To give you guys a taste of their backgrounds, of course. I'll randomly choose which member it'll be of course. Also, fair warning, the timeline does skip around so it's not gonna be a day-to-day kind of thing.

            “Are you a safe driver?”

            Yongguk gave Himchan a scandalized look, his leg already up and over the seat of the bike. “I have a license. Of course, I’m a safe driver. I haven’t gotten myself killed yet.” He gave a short pat to the empty seat behind him and motioned to the helmet. “Come on, hurry up Channie.”

            Himchan shifted the bag on his shoulder and let out a resigned sigh, walking over the motorbike. Yongguk had definitely changed it to suit his style – he could tell the body of the bike had been painted black and the silver words etched into it looked like they were done by hand. He slowly got on behind Yongguk and hesitantly wrapped his arms around the griffins waist after pulling on the helmet. He hoped his makeup wouldn’t run off – he’d even made sure to apply setting powder this time. “I got on. Let’s go, cause if we dilly dally any longer we’ll miss Youngjae and Daehyun before they head to class.”

            Yongguk chuckled and revved up the motorcycle, releasing the brake and speeding off. Himchan gripped him tighter. The wind whipped through his hair, ruffling his clothes and forcing him to press his forehead against the spot between Yongguk’s wings as an attempt to make sure his glasses didn’t slide off and fall out of the helmet. He didn’t know if Yongguk was talking to him, the wind taking away every word and making it hard for him to pay attention, to listen to the mindless chatter of the monsters walking on the sidewalks.

            At least this way he could avoid walking through the mobs of creatures he so despised.

            The motorbike skidded to a stop in front of Youngjae and Daehyun, the two of them staring with their mouths wide open and eyes wide.

            “Holy _shit_ , Yongguk!” Daehyun gushed, rushing over and touching the bike as if it were going to disappear any moment. Yongguk got off of the vehicle, Himchan following suit as he kicked the stand into place, letting the motorbike stand up at an angle. “Is it yours? Holy shit- How come you didn’t tell us you had a motorcycle and license for it to boot?!”

            Youngjae stood there, mouth gaping and his ears standing tall, looking from the bike to Yongguk and then back again. He uttered only a squeak.

            “I wanted to surprise you guys, so I kept it a secret. Plus, you would have been bugging me to let you ride it.”

            Daehyun looked up at him, a large grin spreading across his face. “So…can I ride it?”

            Yongguk pondered the question, tilting his head and looking up as if in thought. “Hmmm….No.”

            The shapeshifter whined. “Oh, why not? Come on, Yongguk. Please? I won’t ruin it or anything!” Youngjae walked over and pulled Daehyun away from the bike, shaking his head slightly – his eyes were still glued to Yongguk’s ride though.

            “You don’t even have a motorcycle license, Daehyun.”

            “What does that matter? I know how to drive one!” He protested before two vaguely familiar voices interrupted the group.

            “Himchan! Yongguk!” Himchan turned around on his heels to look for the owner of the voice, wondering who would know his name before spotting a tall head of strawberry pink hair in the mass of students.

            Ah, Junhong and of course, Jongup walking right beside him.

            Yongguk’s lips spread into a smile at the sight of the two freshmen, Youngjae and Daehyun looking from them to Yongguk quizzically and wondering how they’d managed to get so close already. Himchan waved reluctantly, the two boys stopping in front of them. Junhong’s mouth was split in a wide smile, his nose wrinkling up as he did so. “Sorry! Me and Jongup just wanted to ask if you guys would be up to go to McDonalds – as a thank you for yesterday, of course!” The ghoul looked at Youngjae and Daehyun, smiling at them as well. “You guys are more than welcome to join too, since you’re friends with Yongguk and Himchan!”

            Daehyun all but jumped on the chance for free food. “Sure. Me and Youngjae will be happy to join.”

            Yongguk looked at Himchan and shrugged. “Sure. But can we have Youngjae and Daehyun pay for it? They failed to help pay for the barbecue we all had last night, so it only makes sense for them to pay this time.”

            “Fine, that’s whatever.” Youngjae huffed, “Daehyun’s family is rich anyway, so he’ll pay for it!” He looked to who he assumed was Jongup, tilting his head. “You’re okay with that, aren’t you?”

            Jongup nodded slowly, his eyes blinking slightly in surprise. He hadn’t been expecting this. “….Sure. I don’t mind.”

            Daehyun smacked Youngjae’s arm. “Asshole, I didn’t agree to it. But whatever, fine. I’ll pay. And here I thought I was going to get free food.”

            Himchan let out a dry laugh. “It’s what you get for leaving without paying last night.”

            The shapeshifter glared weakly at Himchan, flipping him the bird and then turning to the two freshmen. “Our classes end at different times, don’t they? How’ll you guys find us if you don’t have our numbers?”

            “Daehyun’s right…” Yongguk murmured, already pulling out his phone. Jongup and Junhong mimicked the action, the ghoul fumbling with his phone for a few moments and looking at them all expectantly.

            “I can make a group chat with all of us and then we can add each other’s numbers that way.” Jongup suggested and there was no protest from anyone.

 

 

**Food GC**

unknown _: jongup here_

bbang: _yongguk!_

fishchan: _himchan :.)_

shapeshitter: _daehyun is present_

furry: _yoo youngjae at your service_

unknown: _junhong!!_

fishchan: _hang on I’m going to change your contact names in my phone_

jongup: _okay_

junhong: _sure thing!!_

Himchan looked up from his phone and put it away, nodding at Junhong and Jongup. “Well, that’s it. Youngjae, Daehyun, you both are going to be late for class. Jongup, just text us the location and time, we’ll head over.” Jongup nodded and then turned towards Youngjae and Daehyun.

            “Thank you for agreeing to pay for the meal.”

            Daehyun waved a hand dismissively, grinning at the vampire. “It’s all good.” He grabbed Youngjae’s arm and then slid his hand down until their hands were interlocked. “Buh-bye!” Youngjae only managed to wave as Daehyun dragged him off into the campus building.

            Yongguk crossed his arms over his chest and tilted his head to look at the other two remaining. “Don’t you two have class right about now?”

            Jongup smiled slightly. “I could say the same for you two.”

            Himchan rolled his shoulders and looked up at the sky, exhaling a laugh. It was getting colder – fall was slowly creeping up on them. “We don’t have class until a little later, so we get out later than all of you.”

            “Lucky. Well, I guess we’ll see you later then. Bye, Himchan. Bye, Yongguk.” Jongup gave them a short wave, Junhong wrapping an arm around the shorter monster’s shoulders. Soon, the strawberry blond and the platinum blond ponytail disappeared into the crowd, leaving Himchan and Yongguk along yet again.

            Yongguk turned to Himchan and smiled, all wide and filled with gums. “So, I guess we should head to class too, huh?” Himchan let out a spluttered sigh and hoisted his bag higher onto his shoulder.

            “Yeah, I guess we should.”

 

* * *

 

 

            Jongup looked at Himchan from across the table where he sat in between Junhong and Youngjae, cocking his head and clearing his throat while they waited for the food to arrive (with the exception of Jongup). “Himchan, I’m sorry if this is rude…but uhm, you smell different.”

            Himchan blinked, his body tensing up slightly and he laughed nervously, looking at the vampire and then at the table. “Is that so? What do you mean?”

            “It’s different from yesterday. You smelled almost like a human yesterday but now you smell like tangy blackberries.” Junhong looked over to Jongup with a look, blinking – the vampire had always been the type to be outwardly blunt even with his soft voice.

            “Ah…really?” Himchan swallowed and shook his leg, willing himself to calm down. Of course – of course! Vampires could smell the scent of everything, of course Jongup would realise it. Which made him all the smarter to put on some cologne, but it _scared_ him. He’d gone 26 years without detection but suddenly everything felt like it was crumbling with the appearance of the pushy freshmen, forcing themselves into his junior year. If only he and Yongguk had rejected the offer to help them, then he wouldn’t be in this position.

            His carefully constructed defensives were taking a hit.

            He continued with a suave wave of his hand. “I guess that just comes with being a merman, since technically speaking, mer-people _are_ half human.” _Lies. Lies and more lies_.

            The vampire hummed quietly, before nodding. “I suppose so.”

            Daehyun kicked Jongup under the table – or rather, he’d meant to kick him but instead ended up kicking Himchan, earning him an annoyed hiss from the elder. “Sorry, sorry. So, wait, Jongup, what do I smell like then?” Youngjae piped in with a, “what about me too!” and Jongup scratched his neck, his fangs bared in an embarrassed smile.

            “I…Uh, well, Daehyun’s scent is sharp, kind of? It’s kind of like the strong scent of pine wood.” Jongup worried his bottom lip, his cheeks growing slightly pink. It was clear it was embarrassing for him, but he continued and Himchan relaxed slightly, glad the attention had been taken off of him. “Youngjae is more mellow, but it’s almost got a cinnamon kick to it- I, this is so hard for me to explain.” The vampire covered his face and Junhong laughed, nudging his friend.

            “Come on, finish it up Jongup!”

            Their order number was called out and Himchan slipped out of the seat to go grab their trays, coming back and setting them down. “Go get your drinks and let Jongup think for a bit.” He wasn’t sure why he was defending Jongup (though, it couldn’t be called defending), but the others complied, grabbing their cups and rushing up to fill them with sugary drinks. Himchan settled on some water even though he really wanted some cola but he knew he’d have to deal with sugar-high Daehyun and Youngjae; and he’d rather have water to help ward the headache.

            Once they’d all situated themselves in the seats, Youngjae nudged Jongup and grinned, showing off his canines. “So? Continue, come on. I smell mellow with a hint of cinnamon, is there anything else?”

            Jongup sipped at his cola idly (contrary to the fairytales, vampires could indeed drink other liquids) and pursed his lips, staring at Youngjae. “Yeah, it’s kind of like a wet dog smell.”

            “Holy shit, that was good- Youngjae smells like wet dog!” Daehyun erupted into loud laughter, Yongguk’s quiet rumbling laughter joining in. Youngjae pouted and crossed his arms.

            “Do I really smell like wet dog?”

            The vampire shook his head, smiling coyly. “No, I’m just playing with you.” He turned to Yongguk and motioned at him with his drink. “Yongguk smells overwhelming. It’s like burning firewood and…rum? Maybe? It’s some kind of alcohol.”

            All eyes fell on Yongguk and he scratched his neck, chuckling. “I…Well, I’m not sure it’s accurate but if that’s what Jongup says I smell like…but I don’t like strong alcohols like that.” Himchan worried his bottom lip. He just smelled like human and he wondered what that smell was like – if all humans smelled like that.

            Judging by Jongup’s accusation, he assumed they did.

            “What about me, Jongup? You’ve never told me how I smell!” Junhong cocked his head to the side and Himchan watched with relative amusement as the vampires cheeks went red, nudging Yongguk beside him and giving him a knowing smile. It was similar to the way Daehyun and Youngjae had looked at each other – and, while Himchan didn’t _like_ monsters, it was still cute, no it was amusing, to watch them crush on each other. Especially now that (as Yongguk explained before) interspecies were more or less commonality in the overruled human dimension. Yongguk grinned once he took notice and glanced at Youngjae and Daehyun, noticing the two of them had absolute grins on their faces. And they weren’t looking at the two freshmen – they were looking at each other.

            Himchan peeked under the table and rolled his eyes. Of course they were playing footsies under the table. He turned to look at Junhong and Jongup once the vampire opened his mouth to talk, his voice quiet.

            “You smell really sweet…like hot chocolate and sugar cookies.”

            Junhong immediately took to smelling himself, brows scrunched in confusion. “I do? Why can’t I smell it?”

            Yongguk chuckled. “It’s a vampire thing, I’m assuming. I’m sure it’s based on the blood? I’m sure others smell it differently – for example kumiho’s or werewolves.”

            The ghoul blinked owlishly. “But I’m dead? Why would I have sweet smelling blood?”

            This caught the other twos attention and made the two sophomores burst into laughter. Junhong looked at the in confusion and then to Jongup, who merely shook his head and ruffled the other’s strawberry blond hair fondly. “Don’t mind them. It doesn’t make sense, but that’s how you smell.”

            “Your guys’ food is getting cold, by the way.” Himchan pointed out with a fry in his hand, motioning to the uneaten food scattered on the table. “I’m going to go the bathroom for a moment.” He slipped out from the seat, giving a slight nod to Yongguk as a thank you for letting him out and then made his way to the bathroom. He could hear their chattering fading away as he approached the bathroom, shutting the door behind him once he entered.

            Himchan rested his palms against the cool counter and breathed in deeply, staring at himself in the mirror. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes, willing himself to calm down. His anxiety had flared up considerably and his stomach twisted with uncertainty, breathing uneven. It had taken all of his strength to not break down at the table. His mouth tasted of fries and ketchup, a delicious mix that only served to make the bile rise in his throat. He stared at the makeup on his face, glad it hadn’t begun to peel or crack. Rubbing his eyes and tilting his head back, Himchan exhaled, inhaled and repeated the motions.

            Everything would be fine. He wasn’t going to blow his cover now. He’d rather die than be found out.

            Putting his glasses back on and washing his hands, Himchan ran the wet hand through his hair, dampening the platinum locks slightly. He gave himself one more lookover and exited the bathroom, sitting down on the edge after making Yongguk scoot over.

            “Everything good, Himchan?” Yongguk whispered, his dark eyes speckled in golden flakes, worry swimming within them.

            Himchan nodded and forced a yawn, smiling slightly. “Yeah, sorry. I’m just a little tired and I was thinking of leaving, since I do have some work to complete.” He wanted to get through some of the assignments due next week for his classes, especially before he started his shift at work tomorrow. But, it was also the stress and anxiety of being caught that tired him out considerably.

            Yongguk stood up, motioning for Himchan to get out. He glanced at the older in confusion but the griffin on smiled, turning to the group. “I’m going to take Channie home. He’s a little tired and has things to get done. I’ll probably be heading back to the dorms myself.

            Daehyun blinked and then nodded. “Oh. Understandable. See you tomorrow, Himchan.” Youngjae followed suit, giving them both a wave.

            “Bye, Himchan, Yongguk!” Junhong chirped as Jongup gave a quiet, “goodbye” followed by a bow of his head.

            “Mmnh. Thank you for the invite out, Jongup. Daehyun, you can have me and Yongguk’s leftovers.” The shapeshifter lit up and grabbed for Yongguk and Himchan’s leftovers, stuffing his mouth with fries and uttering a muffled, “thank you!”. Himchan shook his head and bid them all goodbye once more before exiting McDonalds with Yongguk in tow.

            Yongguk fished out the keys to his motorcycle, looking at Himchan as he pulled on the helmet. “Are you sure you’re okay, Himchan?”

            Himchan nodded and hooked a leg over the bike, giving his friend a smile. “Yeah, I’m just tired. I’ve got to get started on some assignments and then I need to get some sleep because I start my shift at the retail store tomorrow afternoon after class.” The griffin made a noise in the back of his throat and got onto the bike, Himchan weaving his arms around him once more.

            “I see. Well, let’s get you home, huh?”

            Just like that, Yongguk started the motorcycle and they sped off, the sun’s gentle rays calm as it set behind the horizon, painting the sky in a splash of oranges, purples and pinks. Like something out of a painting. Himchan stared at the sky as they zipped towards his apartment complex, letting the chilly breeze pull at his clothes and touch his face. The streets were quiet at this time, a majority of the monsters still at work. Once they arrived outside his apartment, Himchan hopped off of the bike and clipped the helmet to the back of the seat.

            The question he’d been meaning to ask bubbled out of his mouth. “Yongguk, is there any other reason you went for a motorbike. There are other cars out there that can accommodate your wings.”

            Yongguk gave him a slow smile, his eyes crinkling into crescents. “Because, there’s a sense of freedom with the bike. You get to feel the wind ride with you as your companion.” He chuckled. “I’m just making stuff up, but that’s how I feel about having a motorcycle. It’s freeing and less constricting for me than a car, even if there are some that can accommodate my wings.” He reached over and ruffled Himchan’s hair, just as he had when they were younger and still children.

            It made his stomach flip.

            “Oh….” Himchan forced a smile onto his face. “As always, you’re so philosophical.” Yongguk laughed. “Thank you, Yongguk. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

            “You’re welcome, Channie.” Himchan waited and watched as Yongguk got back on his bike, giving him a slight wave as he revved the engine and sped off and then walked up the stairs to his apartment.

            _Freedom._ Himchan wished he could taste it for once. True freedom as himself, not some made up persona. But that was wishful thinking, wasn't it?

 


	4. i shouldn't like you, but i do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Himchan just wants to sleep in. Junhong gets a call from someone he's been avoiding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took so long to put this chapter out ;; As I said in the last chapter, I did include a different perspective for a very short bit and Junhong it is - I picked randomly. Of course, possibly every chapter from now on you'll get snippets of other's perspectives and MAYBE flashbacks into childhood? I start college in about two weeks and I have a job interview tomorrow, so I'm both excited and nervous. But it also means it'll take longer for me to push out chapters.
> 
> Also, yes. Junhong's own phone contact is honghong (which means that Himchan calls himself fishchan lolol) You'll get a glimpse of what everyone names eachother in their phone contact whenever it's a different perspective.

              Jongup and Junhong fit right into their small group as if they’d been there forever in the span of a week and while Himchan hadn’t liked it at first (with what Jongup being able to smell his human scent and the constant anxiety of having to hide better than he already was), he had grown attached in an almost morbid fascination. Perhaps it was the dynamics of Junhong and Jongup’s friendship that made it amusing, or the way Daehyun and Youngjae took to teasing the two freshmen. Or perhaps it was the way Yongguk accepted them with open arms, letting them mold into their small group like clay, fitting perfectly with them. Or maybe it was the fact the two younger monsters had gotten closer to everyone but Himchan, as he’d hardly had time to hang out with juggling his job, classes and schoolwork – though the others, as expected, also struggled with the same thing.

            Himchan still didn’t know a single thing about Junhong and Jongup as in depth as he did with the other three. With them, he knew why they acted in certain ways and how they were on a normal basis, but with the freshmen, he was a blank slate and they were an enigma waiting to be solved. Another reason he _hated_ having them in the group. He didn’t want to have to work hard at figuring them out inside and out.

            The week had gone by in such a blur that Himchan barely realized it was a Saturday and there were no classes to go to when he woke up, which meant he could sleep in without worrying about his shift (he was thankfully off, as Youngjae had taken it up) or worrying about being dragged out somewhere. 

            Or so he thought.

            His phone rang bright and clear, his hand coming out from under the covers to blindly search for it. Himchan opened his eyes and looked at the screen blearily, blinking the sleep away as he answered it, his voice groggy and tired. “Yongguk?”

            “Himchan,” Yongguk’s voice seemed so far away and Himchan furrowed his brows slightly, confused. “were you sleeping?” Himchan let out a grunt of confirmation and the griffin on the other end laughed quietly, the sound echoing in Himchan’s ears and making him feel hot in the face. “Sorry, Channie – Youngjae, keep it down – I didn’t mean to wake you. I was wondering, since next month we have a week for break, if you’d like to go camping with all of us.”

            His throat ran dry. “All of us meaning…?”

            Yongguk let out another low laugh. “All of us meaning me, Daehyun, Youngjae and the two adorable freshmen.”

            Himchan bit his lip harshly, sleep suddenly fleeing his body as panic settled in. Camping. _Camping_. With all of them. He couldn’t do it. He just couldn’t. It was a huge risk to him. They could find out. How was he going to mask his identity? If he went camping he wouldn’t be able to hide behind the mask of makeup – the intricate scales and his cologne. He wouldn’t be able to do any of that.

            “Himchan?” Yongguk’s voice came through again, worry evident.

            “I…I’ll have to think about it, Yongguk. I’ll let you know.”

            Yongguk smiled, though it was unseen by Himchan he could hear it in his voice. “Okay. It’s okay if you don’t want to go. It’s just for one night anyway, so we can always plan it for another break.”

            _One night._

            Himchan gripped his phone tightly. “I’ll go. If it’s one night, I’ll go.” He didn’t know what had come over him to agree so suddenly but the words seemed to tumble from his mouth before his brain could catch up. Was it Yongguk’s tone that convinced him? So light and airy, convincing even if he wasn’t trying. Yongguk was too kind – was that the reason?

            “Oh. Oh, okay. I’ll tell Daehyun to book the campsite then, since everyone else has agreed to it.”

            The words seemed to get stuck in his throat and Himchan barely managed to push them out. “Cool. Cool, I’ll talk to you later?”

            A laugh and Himchan could almost envision the gummy smile that was on Yongguk’s face. “Talk with you later, Channie.”

            Himchan grunted and then disconnected the call, tossing his phone on the bedside stand and then rolling over. He’d talked without thinking, something he rarely did considering his position in society. Why had he done that? Himchan shut his eyes and let out a shaky exhale. He was so, totally and royally fucked.

_God, what had he gotten himself into?_

* * *

            Junhong wrapped his arms around Jongup’s neck, standing behind the vampire and resting his chin on the shorter males head. “Jongup, I’m bored. It’s a weekend, lets go do something. You’re always watching those animations.” He looked at the animation playing on his friend’s computer, letting out a huffy sigh. “Jongup.”

            Jongup finally replied, pausing the animation on the screen and sighing. “Fine. Okay. Just us two, or?”

            “Let’s invite the others! Maybe we can finally get closer to Himchan? We don’t talk to him as much as we do with the others.” Junhong suggested, pulling away from Jongup and scurrying around the room to look for some clothes to change into.

            The vampire got out of his chair, stretching his arms. “Ugh, the choreography we practiced yesterday left me sore. Where do you think we could go as a group? Yongguk said Himchan was sleeping when he called about the camping trip.

            The camping trip! Junhong grinned at the thought of it. Finally, he’d get to spend time with some new friends. Before meeting them, Junhong only had Jongup – his best friend since high school. They’d gotten close almost instantly, sharing their love for dance and creating choreographies but now he had more people to talk with; though he’d only known them for barely more than a week. 10 days at most. “Hmmm…Maybe we can hang out somewhere casually? Or, actually…” Junhong pursed his lips and weighed his options. Himchan might refuse and then maybe the others would refuse to come because Himchan wasn’t there. It would be a waste of time, wouldn’t it? He bit his lip and ran a hand through his strawberry hair. What if everything was ruined because they were all busy or didn’t feel like coming?

            “How about it just be the two of us, Junhong.” Jongup suggested, as if he could sense the youngers turmoil. His lips were curled into a soft smile, reassuring and Junhong nodded slowly. That was a much better idea. There was a very low risk of it being messed up if it was just the two of them.

            “That’s sounds much…better. Where do you want to go, Jongup?” Maybe they’d run into the others! That sounded more fun than planning something that may potentially fail.

            Jongup shrugged, pulling some shoes. “Anywhere is fine with me. We can hang out at the skate park or-” Junhong’s phone rang from his bed, the familiar tune making the ghoul freeze slightly and look at Jongup with wide eyes. Jongup opened his mouth to speak but Junhong was already scrambling to his bed, grabbing his phone and if his face could pale even more so, it did when he read the caller ID. Jongup opened his mouth and croaked out a quiet, “your dad?”

            Junhong nodded and Jongup shut up, letting his friend answer the call with shaky hands. Clammy hands swiped the accept button and he pressed the phone to his ear. “Hey, dad.” His eyes locked onto Jongup’s red ones, feeling slightly comforted by the presence of his friend in the room. “Long time no talk. What’s up?” He fell silent as the deep voice rattled off into his ear, his fingers tightening around the phone and his lips drawn into a tight line.

            “You useless fuckin’ son, why haven’t you called me? Are you tryin’ to avoid me? Just know that I will come to your fuckin’ campus and find you, you disgrace! How dare you cut off contact with me for three years? Do you _know_ how long it took me to find your goddamn number again? You absolute piece of-”

He pulled the phone away from his ear, the voice still talking and cut the call off, blocking the number. With tired eyes, he looked up at Jongup.

            Almost instantly, the vampire walked over, pulling Junhong into a tight hug, the taller resting his chin on Jongup’s head. “Uppie…”

            Jongup hummed quietly, drawing circles into the ghouls back and nodding softly. “I know….I know. It’s okay, Junhong.”

            “Why would he call…after so long? It doesn’t make sense! He hasn’t called for 3 years, why would he…” Junhong lied, sniffling and burying his nose in Jongup’s hair, twisting his fingers into the fabric of Jongup’s shirt. “Jongup…I don’t get it…” The vampire maneuvered them to sit on the bed, Junhong’s face into his shoulder and his cheek resting against the soft head of strawberry coloured hair.

            _Jongup doesn’t need to worry about me even more._

            “I don’t know. Just ignore him, Junhong. He doesn’t matter anymore, okay? Do you want to sit at home instead?” Jongup whispered quietly, dragging his fingers through Junhong’s hair.

            The ghoul sniffled again. “Maybe.” As if on cue, his phone went off in a flurry of texts and he reluctantly picked it up, letting Jongup catch sight of the text notifications. They were from the group chat and quickly, Junhong opened the messenger up.

 

 

**yongguk and friends**

yjay: _is anyone free right now?_

lips: _yep!_

yjay: _of course u are, we’re in the same room right now you dimwit_

feathers: _what were you thinking about doing, youngjae?_

yjay: _go out, duh. I was thinking about going out for ice cream or something since it seems like everyones off today. the one across the street from the bbq place_

lips: _unfair! how come you get mad at me but not at yongguk when he’s literally in the dorm with us_

yjay: _because i love you, now shut up_

 

 

            “Ice cream, huh?” Junhong looked up when Jongup spoke, blinking slightly and then nodding in agreement. Ice cream sounded good. And maybe it would help him get his mind off of his…father. Yeah. It sounded good. “Go on. Tell them we’ll both go.”

            Junhong nodded.

 

 

honghong: _me and jongup will go! we’re both free_

yjay: _sweet. now we just have to see about Himchan_

himhim: _god, you guys blew my phone up with messages. i was in the middle of my nap_

lips: _it’s 2 PM, fish breath_

himhim: _and??????_

feathers: _are you going to go, channie?_

honghong: _please, himchan?_

himhim: _god you guys are absolutely nuts. fine, i’ll go. who’s paying?_

yjay: _daehyun, obviously._

lips: _just because my parents are rich doesn’t mean you can leech off of me!!! assholes_

 

            Junhong shook his head slightly, lips quirked into a smile as he muted the notifications on his phone so that they could get ready to head out and hang out with the others. “Let’s go, huh?” Jongup nodded, pulling himself away from Junhong and smiled softly, concern in his eyes.

            “Are you okay now?”

            Junhong’s smile faltered slightly and he gave a slow tip of his head, sighing. “I’ll be fine once I surround myself with everyone and get my mind off of him.” He stood up from the bed and smoothed his shirt down. “Let’s get going, okay, Uppie?” Jongup gave a short nod from where he was standing by the door, dorm keys in hand and shoes already on. Junhong walked over, slipping his phone into his pocket and the two of them exited the dorm room, step in step, Junhong’s arm slung over Jongup’s shoulder casually.

            Had Junhong looked over at Jongup’s face, he would have seen the blush on his cheeks.

 

* * *

 

         

             Himchan let out a grumble as he sat down in the metal chairs outside, setting his ice cream down on the table and giving a death glare to Youngjae, who only smiled. “I can’t believe you guys dragged me out.” He glanced at the others, shoving a spoonful of the vanilla ice cream into his mouth. Youngjae pointed his spoon at Himchan, earning another glare, but he didn’t care.

            “You didn’t _have_ to come. You could have stayed home and napped like there’s no tomorrow, but you came because you caved in to Junhong’s begging.”

            Junhong scratched his neck, chuckling softly and Himchan turned his gaze over to him, his annoyance melting at the sight of him. Even he had to admit, he had a soft spot for Junhong – most likely because he was the youngest, but he was cute in subtle ways. Himchan reached over and flicked Youngjae’s wrist, rolling his eyes. “Don’t point shit at your elders, dumbass. It’s rude.”           

            Daehyun snickered and took a spoonful of his chocolate flavoured ice cream, waving his spoon around idly. “Yeah, Youngjae. Don’t point spoons.” Youngjae smacked his arm and rolled his eyes.

            Himchan shared a look with Yongguk, lips quirking up into an amused smile. Maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea to come out and hang out, even if it was a pain having to waste more makeup to disguise himself. “Alright, you children. Quit bickering and eat your ice cream.” He glanced over to where Junhong and Jongup sat, shoulders touching and raised a brow. While he’d seen the two have their arms around each other – and he knew they weren’t dating – he’d never seen them sit so close together like that. He turned away, taking another bite of his ice cream and holding it close to his chest when Daehyun tried to reach over and grab some. “Hey. No, you have your own ice cream, Daehyun.”

            Daehyun huffed. “You never fuckin’ share food with us, Himchan. Rude.”

            “Because…it’s my food? Why should I share it with you?”

            Youngjae snorted and slid his strawberry ice cream over to Daehyun. “Here, have some of mine, since Himchan’s being greedy.”

            “You all are so childish.” Yongguk murmured, amusement dancing in his eyes as he watched everyone’s interactions.

            The kumiho turned to Yongguk, his ears twitching slightly as annoyance flashed over his face. “You wanna know what’s really childish? Himchan will agree with me too, but _fuck_ , there was this one bitch customer who whined about the prices at the store. Like? Are _we_ responsible for the price of clothes? No! We’re just there to help you find shit. She wouldn’t shut up about it and only until Himchan managed to get the manager did she shut up.”

            Himchan sighed, the memory coming back to him. God, it was _terrible_. He hated working in retail – especially when he shared a shift with Youngjae – but it was mostly because he was in contact with monsters all day. “All the trouble seems to happen whenever you share a shift with me.”

            “When I share a shift with you? More like when you have the same shift as me. When I’m alone nothing seems to happen, but when you’re around, shit hits the fan.” Himchan shot him the bird, which Youngjae graciously shot back.

            Yongguk shook his head and took a spoonful of his own ice cream, mint flavoured. “On the topic of work, I recently got a new class of kids to tutor for music.”

            Jongup perked up slightly, tilting his head. “You tutor kids in music, Yongguk?” The griffin nodded, a smile on his lips. “Wow, that’s cool. Me and Junhong work part time in a café but we both want to teach dance at some point.”

            “I almost forgot you two were dance majors.” Daehyun chirped. “You two do those dance competitions? If you guys ever do, you should invite us to watch. It’ll be neat.”

            Junhong nodded. “Sure. You guys will be the first to know if we do anything like that.” He poked at his cotton candy ice cream. Himchan took notice of it and cocked a brow.

            “You haven’t taken a bite of your ice cream, Junhong.” The ghoul looked up, clearly taken aback that someone noticed and Himchan’s brows rose in question.

            “Ah. I guess I ordered it but now I don’t really have an appetite. Uhm, does anyone want it? I know Jongup would eat it if he could, but….” As soon as the words left Juunhong’s lips, Daehyun launched an arm across the table and grabbed the ice cream, flashing a toothy grin.

            “Thanks.”

            Himchan ran a hand through his hair and rolled his eyes. “How the hell do you eat so much? It’s like you have a blackhole for a stomach.”

            Daehyun pursed his lips. “Hey. Being a shapeshifter uses up a lot of energy you know?” Youngjae scoffed.

            “No, he really does have a blackhole for a stomach.”

            “Do not! _Youngjae!_ ”

            The table erupted into soft laughter, Himchan’s lips curling up into a smile at the playful banter – something he couldn’t control. They spent an hour like that, sitting around the table, ice creams melting as they talked about this and that. Mostly about their classes and work (which Daehyun didn’t particularly contribute to, as he didn’t work).

            However, through the whole time, Himchan took notice of how Junhong barely talked – and while the ghoul didn’t talk that much unless he was nervous – this was clearly abnormal if how Jongup looked at Junhong was anything to go by. He didn’t question it however, attempting to bring Junhong into the conversation whenever it was possible.

            By the time they had finished their talking, the ice creams had been long gone and Himchan was getting tired. He’d pulled an all-nighter last night after work so he could get the assignment due Monday finished; of course, so he could sleep all weekend.

            “Well, it was nice to hang out, but I’m getting really tired.” Himchan mumbled, standing up from his chair and stretching his arms. Youngjae and Daehyun shared a look with Yongguk that he didn’t catch.

            Yongguk stood up and smiled his gummy smile, tilting his head. “I’ll walk you home.” Himchan blinked and shook his head, opening his mouth to protest but Daehyun cut him off with a, “just go with him, Himchan. He’s offering.” He sighed and gave in, nodding.

            “Okay, fine. See you all Monday, okay? Because I am sleeping in all day tomorrow and I’d rather not be woken up again.”

            After a chorus of “goodbyes”, Himchan finally walked away from them, falling into step with Yongguk and shoving his hands into his pockets. They were silent as they walked back to his apartment, the atmosphere comfortable and not awkward. Himchan weaved around the monsters walking around, bumping into Yongguk slightly but not needing to offer an apology, as the older man merely shook his head in amusement. Himchan’s skin tingled where his shoulder had brushed against Yongguk’s body, his heart beat picking up. It was weird and he hated how Yongguk made him felt – breathless, airy and light. He clenched his fist as they arrived to his apartment complex, stopping outside the entrance like always.

            “Thanks, Yongguk.”

            Yongguk smiled. “Anything for you, Himchan. Goodbye and see you on Monday.”

            Himchan’s heart sunk slightly at the words, his entire body feeling like it wasn’t his. He felt weak to the knees and he tipped his head, not trusting his voice as he walked back inside, not bothering to see whether Yongguk had left or not.

            He _couldn’t_ like Yongguk. He _wouldn’t_ like Yongguk.

            He _shouldn’t_ like Yongguk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, Bang Yongguk for being with BABYZ for 7 long years. I wish you long happiness and I will support you no matter what.
> 
> If anyone wants to talk with me, I have a Twitter account you can check out @SunnieBAP. You can catch up with me there and all that jazz uwu - I post about B.A.P, KNK and SHINee more often then not.


	5. i have to admit it to get over it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Himchan comes to terms. Yongguk wonders if something went wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, wow! I'm back with another update. Did ya'll miss me? This chapter is mostly BangHim ft. some kids. You do see Yongguk's POV in the beginning and what he named the others contacts (and his own contact name lolol)  
> The next chapter will probably be shorter or longer? Dunno.  
> Excuse typos and grammar mistakes. I'll be going through again and fixing any I see!!
> 
> I'm also working on a short sequel to my other fic 'Skydive(Freefall)'.  
> College starts in 5 days, so I'm nervous and excited. I might actually get the job, too!!

            Yongguk stretched his arms, splaying himself across the wide expanse of the couch. Yesterday had felt _weirder_ than usual. He’d offered to take Himchan home like he always did, there wasn’t anything weird about that, was there? Except there _was_ and it was the fact Himchan had nearly declined it. He usually agreed and they would talk about things – life, classes, work, anything. But they’d walked in silence yesterday and albeit comfortable, it still rubbed Yongguk the wrong way.

            He liked Himchan. Youngjae and Daehyun both knew that. His crush started their freshman year of college, though Yongguk suspected it only became obvious to him then and that he liked Himchan long before actually coming to terms with it. So perhaps it was in high school – junior year perhaps – that he truly began to like Kim Himchan.

            Kim Himchan with his loud laugh when he actually let go, exuberant and bright; nothing like his restrained chuckle. Kim Himchan with his glittering green scales and pale skin. Kim Himchan with his slightly protruding front teeth, making him look a little more like a bunny. Kim Himchan who called him “Bbang” and “Yonggukie”. Kim Himchan with his undeniably brilliant fashion sense. Kim Himchan who loved the colour pink and couldn’t stand sleeping in pitch darkness.

            _Kim Himchan_.

            Yongguk looked at his phone, scrolling through his photo gallery. He’d labeled each album according to pictures and who was in them. He bypassed the albums labeled “Family”, “Daehyun” and “Youngjae”, going straight to the one named “Himchan”. What was wrong with Himchan lately? Or, not lately, but rather for the past two years. He seemed to be more distant than usual, his laughs restrained and his smiles strained. Himchan usually talked with him about things that bothered him – so what wasn’t he telling him? He let out a sigh as he scrolled through the many pictures with Himchan, ranging from when they were small children to now. There were less pictures of him and Himchan in the past two years compared to before then.

            Yongguk sighed again.

            “Yongguk, stop sighing. You’ll kill us all with how much carbon dioxide you’re letting out.” Daehyun walked over, plopping himself right down on the couch and making Yongguk sit properly. Yongguk set his phone aside and tilted his head back.

            “Sorry. I’m just thinking.”

            Daehyun cocked a brow. “Thinking, huh? About Himchan?”

            The griffin looked at Daehyun and shook his head, rolling his eyes slightly. “No. I was thinking about how I can help tutor the kids in music for their next lesson.”

            “ _Right,_ you totally were. Well, let’s stop you from thinking because we all know that’s dangerous for you because you overthink too much. Here, look at this video Suwoong sent me.” Daehyun pulled up his phone, bringing up the video Suwoong sent him. Yongguk looked over and immediately regretted it.

            The volume was thankfully off but the video made Yongguk’s stomach flip unpleasantly. He knew, of course, how humans were treated despite it being their dimension and _their_ earth. But he’d always turned a blind eye because there wasn’t anything he could do to help them despite hos desperately he wanted to – he hated the way humans were treated. There were no organizations to donate too and it would just be him against the world if he tried to help them. There weren’t that many humans anyway, what could he do? The video was of a Grim monster hanging a human over a fire, the flames licking hungrily at the humans feet. Yongguk could see the fear and pain in the human’s eyes as he struggled, kicking his feet and desperately trying to get out of the flame’s embrace as he was constantly dropped lower and then lifted right back up.

            Like it was a game.

            Daehyun’s face was split in a smile and he chuckled. “Apparently the human spat at him and that’s his punishment. It’s what he deserves, right?”

            Yongguk bit his bottom lip. He couldn’t blame Daehyun for his opinions, but he wished the shapeshifter would take in the other side instead of immediately siding with the monsters. He stayed silent and Daehyun took it as disagreement, his brow raising.

            “Ah. I forgot, you’re soft on humans. I don’t understand why.”

            The griffin looked away from Daehyun and stared at the ceiling. “Isn’t it obvious? Why should we be mistreating humans when we’re the ones who took their entire world in the first place? It would be ten times more beneficial to live with them in harmony, wouldn’t it?”

            Daehyun shrugged, pocketing his phone. “I guess. But they’re useless, aren’t they? They don’t possess anything special like we do, which makes them less than us. We’re stronger, faster and smarter. They’re comparable to domestic animals, you feel?”

            Yongguk held back his biting scoff. “I guess, if that’s how you think. Anyway, the camping trip is coming up in two weeks, do you know what we should bring?”

            “Oh yeah, Youngjae’s got the list down pat. He’s gonna send it to everyone in the group chat right about…now.” Daehyun grinned as Yongguk’s phone went off to a familiar tune he self-composed.

            Yongguk grabbed his phone and looked at the text message sent by Youngjae, followed by instant responses from the others.

           

 

**we’re going camping GC**

yooyoo: _[attached document]_

yooyoo: _here’s the list of camping shit to bring_

up: _oh. thank you Youngjae_

giant: _thank you!!!_

channie: _again, i was napping. but thank you_

yooyoo: _all you do is sleep, himchan_

channie: _and all you do is talk_

loudmouth: _he’s a sleep monster, not a merman. Oh yeah youngjae im gonna send a funny video to you_

yooyoo: _the one suwoong sent you? hyunbinnie told me about it lol he was tearing up bc he thought it was sad_

producer bang: _take this to a separate chat, you two. thank you though, youngjae_

 

            Yongguk slipped his phone right back into his pocket and looked over at Daehyun, who was already immersed in chatting with Youngjae about the video despite the kumiho being in the dorm. He sighed and got up from the couch, walking to the balcony of their dorm and stretching his wings in the gentle, cool breeze of the upcoming fall. He wrapped his fingers around the railing and leaned over slightly, shutting his eyes and smiling faintly. If he wanted to, he could jump right off and take a flight around the air, free and one with the wind. He turned to the shapeshifter sitting on the couch, peeking back into the warmth of the dorm and clearing his throat.

            “Daehyun, want to take a quick soar?”

            Daehyun looked up and a pondered the thought for a moment before shaking his head. “Nah. I think I’m gonna hang out with Suwoong and Youngjae today at the PC café. Maybe Hyunbin will join.”

            Yongguk hummed softly. “Okay. Text me when you guys leave then.” He earned an affirmative grunt in response. The griffin hopped onto the railing, his wings spread and feet set on the metal ledge. He gave one more look to the shapeshifter sitting on the couch, face split in a smile as he looked at his phone – probably discussing plans to go to the PC café – before he jumped.

            Within no time he was up in the air, the wind rustling through his feathers and brushing against his skin.

 

* * *

 

         “Ugh,” Himchan wrapped his lips around the iced Americano in his hand, staring at the books spread in front of him. Pulling away from the straw, he continued his complaint to no one in particular, his gaze burning imaginary holes into the books, “this is fucking stupid. Only two weeks into the semester and they’re already giving out pop quizzes?” There was one week left until the camping trip and already the 6 of them were sharing inside jokes and clicking like pieces of a puzzle. Turned out Youngjae and Daehyun’s friends were also friends with Junhong and Jongup, so within no time the freshmen were sticking to the sophomores sides. Yongguk too, seemed to be closer with them than Himchan – though, he’d gotten significantly closer than the first week of knowing them.

            _Significantly_ , meaning not by a lot (enough to share inside jokes, however). He was certainly a lot closer to Junhong than Jongup. The vampire was one scary kid, he had to admit. Himchan took another sip of his Americano before pressing his forehead against cool table, the books edges poking him slightly in the temple. He couldn’t care less.

            “Himchan?”

            He shot his head up when he heard the voice, looking up at Yongguk and cocking a brow, his heart racing. “Oh, Yongguk. What a surprise.” Himchan motioned for him to sit across at the table, clearing off the table and stacking his books atop one another. Yongguk sat down, a warm latte in his hands along with a piece of cake.

            “I didn’t expect to see you here. I thought you’d be sleeping, since it’s a weekend. Or, at the very least, at work.” Yongguk smiled softly at Himchan, his head cocked slightly.

            Himchan snorted and tapped his fingers against the plastic of his drink. “I’m off today. And I’m sitting here because I failed a pop quiz yesterday. The professor is an asshole, you know? Who the hell stills gives out pop quizzes?”

            Yongguk chuckled softly, his eyes sweeping over the books in front of Himchan. “You should have studied ahead, then you would have been prepared.”

            “You know I don’t like doing that. Didn’t you have to tutor those little kids today? What are you doing in the café?” Himchan reached over, grabbing the fork next to Yongguk’s plate and stealing himself a slice of cake.

            Yongguk smiled and slid the plate over. “You can have it all, Channie. I have an hour to kill before heading over to where the kids are. You wanna come? You’re a music major too, so maybe they’ll learn something from the guys who can play a bunch of instruments ranging from Korean classics to orchestra ones. Instrumental genius, that’s what you are.”

            Himchan took another bite of the cake, waving his fork idly. “Don’t flatter me, Yongguk. I can only play guitar and piano really well. The janggu, daeguem, kkwaenggari and djembe are things I can play slightly above subpar at best. I’m learning violin, but you can’t call me an instrumental genius.” Truth be told, the flattery had made his cheeks heat up slightly and he certain he was blushing. Sure, maybe it was a _little_ impressive he knew how to play all of these instruments, but it was just something he’d grown up doing.

            The griffin took a sip of his latte and shook his head, sighing. “As I said, instrumental genius. Don’t deny it, Himchan. So, do you want to come, or not?”

            He looked at his books and then up at Yongguk. A sigh escaped his mouth and he slumped down slightly. It was either sit and study, which would be useful for him but he really didn’t want to, or he could go with Yongguk and avoid studying. He stuffed his mouth with the remaining piece of cake and washed it down with the bitter iced Americano. “Fine, yeah. I’ll go. Did you ride here on your motorcycle?”

            Yongguk nodded, humming. “Yep. Did you walk here like always? It must be nice, living so close to everything. The dorms are so far.”

            Himchan gave Yongguk a pointed look. “Which is why I don’t understand _why_ you insist on driving me to campus every morning when you live a good 20-25 minutes away from me. I can walk just fine.”

            “Why wouldn’t I? It’s better than having you walk to the campus for 15 minutes. You could always get hurt, Himchan. That wouldn’t be good, you know.” Yongguk smiled softly, revealing only a tiny bit of his gums, eyes crinkling into crescents. He sipped his latte again and chuckled.

            Himchan huffed but his heart definitely flipped slightly to see how much Yongguk _cared_. He cared too much and it burdened his heart – he was slipping. His façade. His walls. His defenses. Yongguk was tearing them down one by one. “Yongguk, you’re so….ugh, you’re just Yongguk.”

            Yongguk tilted his head, raising his brows. “And that’s bad?”

            Himchan shook his head and refused to answer it, sipping on the remainder of his Americano and then stood up, grabbing his books. “Okay, well why don’t you drop me off at my place and then we can head over to where you tutor the kids?”

            “Sure thing.” Yongguk grabbed his latte and stood up, walking out of the café with Himchan and towards his bike.

 

* * *

 

            “We’re here.” Yongguk parked his motorbike, sliding off of it and setting his helmet down on the seat. Himchan followed suit, looking around and furrowing his brows.

            “I don’t see a place meant for kids. You didn’t mistake the place, did you?”

            Yongguk chuckled and shook his head. “Nope. We’re here. The building where the kids are is right there.” Himchan followed where the griffin’s finger was pointing and trailed his eyes up the metal and glass exterior. The building seemed to tower endlessly and he nearly fell backwards with how much he had to crane his neck to look up. It was tall and it didn’t look like a building where one would tutor kids at all. In fact, it looked like an office building – something rich, privileged monsters would use to hold meetings and overwork their poor interns and staff.

            Himchan blinked – just to make sure he wasn’t seeing things – and then looked to Yongguk. “….You teach kids…here. This isn’t a prank, right? Daehyun and Youngjae aren’t going to come out of nowhere and surprise me, are they? It’s September, so there aren’t any birthdays.”

            “Himchan, I tutor rich monster kids in music. This isn’t a prank, I promise.” Yongguk chuckled. “Their parents usual want them to learn a little bit about music and instruments because of those fancy parties, you know? And to also boast about them and how talented they are. I usually wouldn’t do things like this, but it was the only job offered with music. When I find another one I’ll latch onto it. It also pays fairly well.” He began walking towards the building and it took Himchan a few seconds before he finally started to follow him.

            “Rich…monster kids.” He repeated, feeling anxiety creep up onto him like a clingy ex-girlfriend (not that he had experience). Would he see human servants? “Huh. They aren’t snotty or bratty, are they?”

            Yongguk shook his head, amusement evident in his voice. “No, actually they’re all surprisingly mannered.” _Surprisingly_ was clearly sarcastic and Himchan let out a huff. Yongguk opened the door, letting Himchan go through first before following after him. “Stairs on the right, Channie.” Himchan turned, walking up the stairs and slowing down just slightly so Yongguk could fall into step with him.

            “I don’t know why I agreed to come with you, honestly.”

            The griffin chuckled, opening the door to the second floor and letting Himchan go through first again, following after him. The sound of laughter, high pitched and childlike floated through the hallways and Himchan froze, blinking. It sounded like a lot of kids. Which reminded him that he hadn’t asked how many kids Yongguk was tutoring. “Yongguk, how many kids are you tutoring?”

            Yongguk stopped his hand right in front of the door handle, peeking over at Himchan and pursing his lips in thought. “Ah. I tutor 6 kids. They’re the same each time, but their ages vary. Don’t worry, they’re all nice kids, Himchan.”

            “Oh.” Himchan nodded. 6 kids – okay, well that was manageable. He motioned for Yongguk to open the door and let them both inside. The minute the two of them walked through the door, they were bombarded with a chorus of polite greetings from the kids. Of course, they quickly switched into a flurry of questions about who the guy next to Yongguk was. Yongguk motioned for Himchan to come to the center of the room where a board was set up, littered with various instruments (neatly, of course) on the ground.

            Himchan looked at the – now silent – kids and cleared his throat, sweeping his eyes over them. They were all various creatures, some even a mix of two different ones as a result of interspecies breeding. They all had chubby cheeks and bright eyes. Himchan couldn’t deny the way his heart melted fondly. He was a sucker for kids; who could deny them? They were cute and surprisingly smart. “Hi, my name is Himchan. I’m a friend of Yongguk’s. He invited me so I can show you all how to work with different instruments.”

            Yongguk smiled. “He’s the one I told you all about before, the instrumental genius.” As if on cue, the kids all lit up and let out a chorus of “ooohs”. Himchan turned to Yongguk, his face pink and eyes wide.

            “You’ve talked about me before?”

            The griffin nodded, giving a shrug of his shoulders as he grabbed a packet of papers from his back pocket, folded neatly. “Why wouldn’t I? They should know that there’s someone out there who can play 6 instruments and is now learning to play a 7th one.”

            Before Himchan could even open his mouth to respond to it, a kid interrupted them with a question.

            “Are you two dating?”

            Yongguk let out a nervous chuckle and Himchan shook his head furiously. “No, no! Me and Himchan are just close friends, Peniel.” The kid – Peniel – smiled widely and proceeded to say, with his whole chest:

            “You two should date! Yongguk always talks about Himchan during lessons and says that Himchan does really well in music.” Peniel nodded after he spoke, seemed satisfied with his own little speech.

            Himchan looked to Yongguk and shared an amused smile, both of their faces pink.

            Just like that, they spent two hours with the kids, going over their previous lesson a few days ago and catching up the kids who missed the last lesson. Three kids were with Yongguk and three with Himchan. They were cute. Himchan couldn’t resist but ruffle their hair and praise them. Well-mannered and kind – good with words. They caught on quick and it made teaching them (which Himchan didn’t have any experience in) even easier. It was a tad overwhelming how many questions they asked as they had no concept of personal space or sensitive topics, but Himchan tried to answer them as best he could, occasionally looking to Yongguk and letting out a sigh of relief when the older man would save him from the prying questions. It wasn’t hard to learn their names either: Peniel, Junkyu, Jieun, Eunkwang, Sunhwa and Euijin. They all seemed to be around the same age as well, ranging from 5 to 7 years old.

            “Yongguk, we should start going ba-” Himchan started before stopping himself when he noticed how quiet it was, all the kids eyes focused on Yongguk and Peniel. Peniel was crying silently, his small hands balled into fists rubbing his eyes furiously. It was then that Himchan noticed the small claws on the ends of Peniel’s fingers, signifying him as a Grim monster. He watched Yongguk comfort him, patting his head and whispering soft words that he couldn’t catch. Himchan turned to Jieun who had tugged the sleeve of his pink hoodie, tilting his head slightly.

            “Peniel ripped the djembe because of his claws. You aren’t mad are you? You like instruments…” She trailed off, her eyes beginning to water. Himchan shook his head, feeling slightly awkward. He liked kids, but he never knew how to react when they cried.

            “I’m not mad. It happens. I ripped a djembe before on accident.” Jiuen fell quiet after that.

            Himchan watched silently as Peniel stopped crying and Yongguk ruffled his hair, making the kid laugh wetly. He began to clear up the space, motioning for Jieun, Eunkwang and Sunhwa to do the same. Yongguk, once Peniel stopped crying, began to clean up as well. Once they’d finished, Himchan walked to the door and waited for Yongguk to come over before exiting the room together, saying their goodbyes to the kids.

            They walked in silence down the stairs and out to the motorbike. It wasn’t until they were pulling on their helmets that Yongguk finally spoke.

            “It happens often. Peniel’s nails often rupture the skin of the djembe, which is why I want him to avoid drum instruments. But he likes them a lot, so there’s nothing I can do but comfort him when it happens.”

            Himchan hopped onto the motorcycle after Yongguk got on, wrapping his arms around his waist. It tingled and burned. “Couldn’t you introduce him to a drum set instead? I think he’ll find it enjoyable to bang sticks against the cymbals and drums to make sound.”

            Yongguk turned his head and flashed Himchan a wide smile. “Smart idea. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before. What would I do without you, Himchan?” He revved the engine of the bike, turning his head away with a laugh at Himchan’s response of “die, obviously”.

            As they sped away, Himchan shut his eyes, the image of Yongguk smiling so wide at him ingrained in his head. He was so gentle and kind. The burning feeling of touching Yongguk grew stronger and Himchan swallowed softly, knowing exactly why he was feeling that burn. Perhaps he should just admit it and get over it. His hold tightened around Yongguk’s waist, fingers clutching the fabric of Yongguk’s loose white shirt just enough so he wouldn’t notice.

            He pressed his helmet covered cheek against Yongguk’s back, chewing his bottom lip.

            He couldn’t deny it anymore, could he?

            He was stupidly head over heels with a monster who went by the name of Yongguk.

            Yongguk with his kind gummy smile and bright eyes. Yongguk with his soft wings and white feathers lacing his neck. Yongguk with his deep voice and rumbling laughter, that sometimes was more of a giggle. Yongguk who was his friend since they were children. Yoongguk who called him “Kim Himchan” and “Channie”. Yongguk who devoted his life to music. Yongguk who liked the colour red and was good with children. Yongguk who liked being alone but still hung out with all of them.

_Bang Yongguk._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Janggu - A double-headed Korean drum  
> Daegeum - Large bamboo flute used in Korean traditional music  
> Kkwaenggwari - Small flat gong used in Korean folk music, usually brass  
> Djembe - A rope-tuned, skin-covered goblet drum from West Africa played with two hands


	6. i've lost control of my life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Himchan messes up. Daehyun finds out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Long time no update T T. Recently started my classes Tuesday and I've been too busy to even think about writing. Once I get into the groove of my schedule and stuff, I'll be more frequent, I think? But yeah, I ended up cutting this chapter short for some suspense...dun dun dun.  
> And! I got the job! I start Saturday, so with juggling work, school and homework I'm gonna be a little drowned. But, I want to thank you all for the overwhelming support for this story. (I promise, I'm working on the sequel to Skydive as well!)  
> Excuse grammar and spelling mistakes, I'll fix them when I can!  
> And, you don't really see a lot through Daehyun's perspective, but in the following chapters you'll see more of his opinions through the others eyes as well.

            Himchan looked over the current mess in his room, clothes littered across his floor and his bed. A large cylinder bag was tucked in the corner of his room, the words “ _Single Tent_ ” written across it. Various other things were strewn about the floor, surrounding the open duffel bag and ranging from bug spray to shampoo. Was there going to be a shower there? A bathroom? Would he have to apply his makeup in the tent and wake up early to do so, just so he wouldn’t get caught? They were only going to be there a day, should he be worrying this much? He chewed his lip and looked at the list pulled up on his phone, worry pulling at his brows.

            A message popped up on his screen.

 

bbang: _channie, you still want me to come over n help you pack??_

 

            He blinked at his phone and furrowed his brows. When had he asked Yongguk for help packing- Oh. Oh, he _did_. Last night. Himchan let out a loud groan. He’d gotten piss drunk from stress, both from his classes for the past month and the fact he only had one more day until he left for camping. And that day was _today_ and he hadn’t even packed anything. Himchan let out a sigh and responded. He could use the help, and with Yongguk living around 20 minutes away, he’d have some time to put on his makeup.

 

fishchan: _it would be nice for some help, yeah. i haven’t even gotten started_

bbang: _I’ll be there in 25_

            Letting out a relieved sigh, Himchan picked up the makeup bag from the floor and made his way to his bathroom, beginning the painstaking process of putting on his disguise. He wrapped a towel around his shoulders just in case the powder would fall onto his clothes. He slid the brush along his skin gently, watching the green pigment take shape underneath the fish scale template against his cheek. His eyes watched his own movements critically, making sure it didn’t look out of place. With how often he’d been doing this, it wasn’t hard for him to make the markings in the exact same spot as before.

            It would be weird if his scales moved positions, wouldn’t it?

            Himchan dusted over the finished product with setting powder, brushing it off once it had sat for a while. He tossed the towel into the laundry basket and tucked all his materials into the bag, heading back into his room. He stuffed the makeup bag into the sack with his shower things, making sure to hide it. Once that was over with, he checked himself out in the full body mirror, fixing his hair before stopping midway. What was he doing? He didn’t have to look extremely presentable in front of Yongguk – it wasn’t like he was trying to impress him or anything. Himchan cleared his throat and sighed quietly.

            He _wasn’t_.

            The buzzer sounded, signaling that Yongguk was at the door and he nearly tripped over the empty duffel bag trying to get out of his room and over to the front door. “Coming! Hang on a second!” Himchan slid over to the door, undoing the lock and opening the door to reveal Yongguk standing there, his lips pulled in a shy smile.

            “Hey, Channie.”

            Himchan mimicked his smile and let him in, stepping aside and feeling extremely nervous. It would be the first time for any of his friends to step foot into his house. “I’m sorry I had to bother you for help. Are you already done packing for the trip?” He led Yongguk into his room, standing awkwardly and looking at the griffin.

            Yongguk chuckled softly – perhaps even fondly and looked around the room. “It’s okay, Himchan. And yeah, I finished packing things up a few days ago with Daehyun and Youngjae. Daehyun’s going to pick everyone up in his car. My stuff is already in there.”

            “So…I’m the last one. Great. Well, thank you for coming to help, I appreciate it. Uhm, I looked at the list but I don’t know what to bring still. Aside from clothes and stuff, of course.” Himchan scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, glancing at the clock. They had an hour until they had to leave at 8. It was _way_ to early for this and Himchan wished he’d packed up earlier, like the rest of them.

            The griffin looked at the array of clothing spread on the bed and turned to Himchan. “You don’t need all of that. Just swim shorts, underwear and two sets of clothes, one for sleep and another to change into for the morning.” Yongguk walked over, motioning for Himchan t walk over. “At this rate, it’ll be me packing your stuff. Pick some clothes and put them in the bag.”

            Himchan complied, picking out clothes to take with him for the one-day trip – _one day_ , he reminded himself – letting Yongguk bustle around the room and grab other things to put in the duffel bag. They worked in silence for a few moments, Himchan organizing the duffel bag and Yongguk handing things over for Himchan to put into the bag.

            Until it came to Himchan’s shower bag.

            “Himchan, what’s in this?” Yongguk held the bag up, tilting his head slightly in question. Himchan’s eyes widened just a fraction and he laughed, giving the griffin an incredulous look.

            “My…shower stuff, obviously. We are taking showers there, right?”

            The older of the two blinked and then let out an amused laugh; though, it was more of a giggle. “Himchan, we’re going to be in the middle of the woods without shower cabins. We’re going to be there for one day, why do we need shower supplies?”

            Himchan pointed at the list on his phone screen uselessly, his mouth opening and closing but forming no coherent sentence. “But the list- Youngjae said to bring- What?”

            Yongguk repeated himself, holding back his laughter. “He meant just toothpaste and a toothbrush, Himchan. Not shampoo and all of that. There’s a lake nearby we can swim in, but there’s nowhere we can take a bath.”

            “Oh,” is all that came out of his mouth. “Okay, well I’ll just take out my shower stuff and keep everything else in the bag then.” Himchan reached over, leaning his body over the duffel bag so he could get the small bag from Yongguk’s hands. Except, he may have overreached.

            The two were nose to nose now, eyes locked onto each other; Yongguk’s eyes wide, dark pupils flecked with speckles of gold. The sun peeking shyly through the windows seemed to make them sparkle and all Himchan could do was let out a quiet breath of surprise. The griffin’s neck feathers ruffled slightly, his wings stretching and catching the flittering light, making his wings shine and seem unreal. His hair seemed so soft and his skin was sun-kissed, glowing and bright. Would it feel warm under his fingertips? It felt like a scene from a movie and time seemed to move in slow motion for the two of them; Himchan’s breathing matching with Yongguk’s. His ears pounded with his own heartbeat and he barely heard what Yongguk said, his eyes falling onto his lips which were moving.

            What was he saying?

            Himchan took the shower bag from Yongguk’s hands gingerly, trying not to break the moment (why, though?) and pressed his lips against his friends. He watched as Yongguk’s eyes widened and then fluttered, as if stuck between wanting to close or to stay open. They eventually closed and Himchan pulled back, falling backwards.

            The moment seemed to shatter like glass into a million pieces. Yongguk brought a finger to his lips and then coughed, his eyes still wide as he stared at Himchan who’d begun to shove the shower bag into the duffel bag.

            “Well, thank you so much for coming over and helping out, Yongguk.” Himchan rambled, his words coming out of his mouth and rapid-fire. His cheeks were completely red, burning with embarrassment. “But, I think it’s time for you to head back to your dorms, right? Daehyun’s going to be picking everyone up soon, so it’ll be good.”

            Yongguk blinked and then cleared his throat. “Himchan, my stuff is already in Daehyun’s car. I said he would come pick me up from your place, remember?”

            “Oh.” Himchan paused in the middle of zipping his duffel bag up, looking up at Yongguk. “Do you want something to drink? Coffee? Something to eat, maybe?” He avoided looking right at Yongguk, his eyes focused on the wall behind the griffin.

            The older man looked at his phone and shook his head, smiling awkwardly. “No, it’s okay. Daehyun’s already outside. Grab your things, Himchan.” Yongguk stood up, grabbing Himchan’s tent from the corner of the room and walking out of the room. Himchan grabbed his duffel bag and followed him out of the room, grabbing his shoes and slipping them on as the griffin opened the door. Yongguk held the door open, letting Himchan go through first before shutting it behind him. “You have your keys and everything, right?”

            Himchan nodded, clutching the strap of his bag tightly as he hurried down the stairs ahead of Yongguk, spotting Daehyun’s car outside of the apartment complex’s entrance. Daehyun rolled the window down, waving and smiling. “Hey! Everything packed, Himchan?” He merely nodded, opening the trunk and tossing his bag inside, Yongguk finally catching up and laying the tent inside. Daehyun unlocked the doors, letting the two of them into the car. Junhong and Jongup were already seated in the middle of the seats (they of course, greeted Himchan and Yongguk), leaving Yongguk and Himchan to occupy the seats on the sides, away from each other. Youngjae sat in the front passenger seat next to Daehyun, the location pulled up on his phone map.

            “Alright, now that we’re all ready, let’s go!”

            Daehyun pulled the car out of parking and drove out of the apartment complex as Youngjae turned up the radio on the car.

            Himchan stared out of the window blankly.

 

* * *

 

                       Daehyun hummed to himself quietly as he drove up to the camping spot, chuckling softly. “Youngjae, look, Junhong is asleep.” He smiled, looking at the ghoul through his rearview mirror. Junhong was leaning against Jongup, the older boy completely zoned out with headphones over his ears while the ghoul was completely knocked out. Yongguk and Himchan were both asleep against the doors. Youngjae twisted his body to look at the sleeping boy, his own lips spreading into a smile as he snapped a picture. Daehyun parked the car neatly, glancing at Youngjae. “Send it to the group chat, yeah? It’ll be funny to see what Junhong’s reaction is to it.”

            Youngjae gave him a mock salute before unbuckling his seat, getting out of the car. Daehyun followed suit, opening the door that Yongguk was leaning against and successfully spooking the griffin awake. He grinned at the sour look he received from Yongguk, laughing. “Come on, we’re here.” Daehyun moved slightly to let Yongguk out of the car before peeking his head inside and dragging his fingers across Junhong’s arm, making the younger startle slightly.

            “Huh?!” Junhong’s eyes jerked open, his body shooting upright. Daehyun’s lips split into a wide smile, laughing loudly. Jongup and Himchan had already got out of the car through the other side, leaving just Junhong inside with Daehyun’s head stuck through the door. “Did we arrive?”

            Daehyun nodded, ruffling the pink strands on Junhong’s head. “Yep. Come on out.” He moved away from the door, hearing his phone go off and finding himself strangely pleased (and surprised) that there was service here.

            “Be grateful, Daehyun. That’s _my_ hotspot providing us with service.” Youngjae chirped, carrying his tent out of the trunk, walking past Daehyun with a cheery smile.

            “Thanks, Jae.” Daehyun purred, grabbing his things from the back of the car, Junhong following after him with tired steps. He turned to look up at the tall freshman, grinning cheekily. “You should definitely check out the group chat.” He flitted away towards the ready-made fire pit where the others were, leaving Junhong confused.

            Himchan had already begun to set up his tent in silence and Daehyun frowned slightly – the older man had been acting weird ever since he and Yongguk came out of the apartment. As much as he wanted to pry (he really did want to pry and see what was wrong with Himchan), he would rather enjoy the time off without bothering with troubles. Yongguk too, seemed to be setting up his own separate tent. He looked over to the tent Youngjae was setting up, sidling up next to him. “I didn’t bring my tent, Youngjae. Can I stay with my absolutely wonderful boyfriend?” He asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

            Youngjae rolled his eyes and smacked the top of Daehyun’s head gently, his orange ears twitching with embarrassment. “Shut the hell up, we already talked about it before.”

            Daehyun laughed, pressing a kiss to Youngjae’s cheek – and before the younger could retaliate with a flurry of embarrassed words, moved away, making his way to Himchan. “Fish breath,” he greeted, grinning when Himchan huffed, “what’s up? Not feeling the outdoors?”

            Himchan ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. “Not really. As fun as it sounds, I’ve never been one for the outdoors.” He motioned to the firepit. “We need to get firewood for the pit, since I don’t think we brought charcoal or anything…” Daehyun blinked.

            Oh. He was right. They’d completely forgotten to bring stuff to start a fire with. They had a lighter but nothing to actually light on fire. Before he could answer, Junhong’s voice echoed through the camp and Daehyun hid the large smile behind his hand.

            “Ah, Youngjae, _why_?! Delete the picture from the group chat!”

            Daehyun pulled out his phone, finally looking at the picture Youngjae sent to them all of Junhong sleeping.

 

 

 

**Camping GC**

jaebabie: _[attached image]_

jaebabie: _hehe, look at the baby_

fishface: _aww, junhong_

yongg: _he must have been really tired_

sucker: _there he is! sleepy boy!_

hotstuff: _our youngest is so cute_

babyboy: _DELETE IT!!!! AHHHHHH_

sucker: _nope! saved!_

 

            “Okay, why don’t we go get firewood while Junhong unleashes his rage, yeah, Himchan?” Daehyun slipped his phone into his pocket. Himchan grabbed something out of his tent, emerging with a flip knife and a bag to hold the firewood in. Daehyun cocked a brow. “You’re…prepared.”

            Himchan looked at the bag in his hand and shoved the knife into his pocket. “Ah, the flip knife is something I bought specifically for this occasion, in case. You never know what’s out there, and Yongguk…” Daehyun noticed the pause when Himchan spoke Yongguk’s name, his curiosity deepening. Perhaps he could get a conversation out of Himchan about why the hell he was being so awkward with Yongguk. “Yongguk said it wouldn’t be a bad idea to buy one. I think he has one as well.”

            Well, his curiosity was definitely winning over his want to stay out of conflict and drama.

            “That’s pretty cool. We can use the knife to collect leaves and stuff as starter fuel for the fire.” Daheyun shoved his hands in his pockets, kicking up the rocks and dead leaves. The air was significantly chillier than the previous few weeks when the semester started and the leaves had already started to turn a various array of colours, falling to the ground and littering it in a mock sunset. However, it was _definitely_ the perfect time to go camping. The crisp fall air and slight chill made the idea of huddling around a fire together, sharing stories and eating smores (humans truly made some inventive things, Daehyun had to admit). Minus Jongup of course.

            “Daehyun, where are you going?” Daehyun whipped his head around, stopping his steps when he heard Yongguk’s voice call out. Himchan too, stopped next to him but didn’t look up over at Yongguk.

            Daehyun pointed in a vague direction. “Uhhh, to go get branches and shit for a fire. Don’t worry, we’ll be back in a jiffy.” Yongguk raised a wing in a mock wave, turning back to helping Junhong and Jongup set up their tent. Daehyun glanced at Himchan and then motioned for the two of them to continue walking.

            “ _Anyway_ , Himchan,” The shapeshifter started once they had walked a bit of distance away from the camp, “did something happen between you and Yongguk?”

            Himchan stiffened slightly and jerked his head to look straight, away from Daehyun. “Nothing in particular. It’s nothing you need to involve yourself in.”

            The pink tinge on Himchan’s cheeks gave it away and Daehyun grinned wickedly. “Ooh, you have a crush on him, don’t you? Our Channie is all grown up now! Did you confess or did you kiss him? Was it like those cheesy dramas?” Daehyun didn’t expect to find out so easily and quickly – he’d thought it was a different reason, but it didn’t make sense; why would Yongguk be awkward around Himchan when his feelings were confirmed?

            Himchan shoved the shapeshifter, his cheeks flaming. “Shut your mouth. I’m older than you, so you have to address me as Himchan, asshole. Go look for sticks over there, fucker.”

            Daehyun chuckled loudly, grinning cheekily, eyes turned up into small crescents of amusement. “ _Riiiight_. Physically, sure. But you act like a kid.” He moved out of the way when Himchan threatened to hit him, his chuckle turning into a laugh as he mock saluted.

            “Just, _go_ ,” Himchan hissed.

            Daehyun snorted, walking away from Himchan and turning into a bear, deciding it would a form that would make it easier to grab firewood.

 

* * *

 

            Himchan hummed quietly to himself, his stomach feeling strangely empty with the awkwardness between him and Yongguk. It was the first anything had happened to make them avoid each other verbally and physically now. He pressed his fingers to his lips, thinking to the kiss earlier and kicking himself mentally.

            Why had he done it?”

            Still lost in his thoughts, Himchan nearly ran into a woman walking, stopping just in time before a collision. His eyes widened upon seeing what state she was in. The woman walked with a limp and she looked relatively young, his black hair messy and drawn over her face slightly in greasy strands. Her white clothes looked greyed and dirty, torn with large clothes. In her arms was a bundle that seemed to let out a quiet whimper now and then. Himchan dropped the bag he was carrying, filled with firewood and caught her attention. “Miss, are you alright?”

            The woman looked up, her face dirty and smeared with dirt, eyebags dark and prominent. As if she hadn’t slept calmly in a whole week. “My child..my baby, can you please…take care of it? I don’t have the strength to go on…please…”

            Himchan swallowed pity gnawing at his heart. She was clearly human. Shouldn’t fellow humans help out humans? But…He was a monster! Why would she come to him? He reached out hesitantly, giving in to the guilt. “I..I’ll see what I can do. I..- Huh?” He blinked, eyes wide when the woman in front of him suddenly vanished.

            Realisation dawned on him and he tried desperately to put the bundle down, but it was to no avail. It was as if it were glued to his hands. What he assumed was a baby was merely a rock bundled in cloth and the woman was a monster – an ubume to be exact. A ghost of a woman disguised as a human in this dimension to feed of off unlucky humans who happened to fall for her tricks. The rock seemed to grow heavier in his hands and Himchan grit his teeth to hold it up. If he let it take him to the ground it would crush him! Himchan felt panic grow in his gut, crawling up like unrelenting tendrils, gripping him and keeping in place. He wanted to run. Daehyun would find out he was a human. Why couldn’t it have been Yongguk?

            Why did it have to be Daehyun? The one who hated humans?

            “Himchan! I brought back some fire…wood…” Daehyun walked back, his furry head tilting slightly as he looked at what he saw in front of him. Himchan wanted to cry and scream but his voice wouldn’t come out. “Why are you holding a rock, Himchan?” He asked, turning back into a human and setting the firewood he’d found onto the ground. The younger walked forward and Himchan’s feet wouldn’t _move_ , wouldn’t let him take a step back.

            He stood, frozen.

            Daehyun reached out, confusion in his eyes as he lifted the rock out of Himchan’s arms easily, tossing it aside. “Heh, an ubume must have pulled a silly prank on you.” He commented before frowning. “…But ubumes…don’t appear to monsters.”

            Himchan’s eyes widened and he watched as Daehyun looked at him, his eyes flickering with realisation. And then Himchan watched as the shapeshifters golden eyes flashed with anger.

            “You’re a fucking _human_?!”

            His feet finally unfroze and without looking back, the tears beginning to sting his eyes, Himchan _ran_ , uncaring that Daehyun was shouting his name behind him. He needed to get away from them all – Daehyun hated him. Daehyun hated humans. It was how he was raised. And Daehyun would tell the rest of them and then they would all hate him. They would wish for him to be killed – even Yongguk. Even precious, sweet Junhong who agreed with Yongguk’s views on humans. They were all liars, weren’t they? They _all_ hated humans. Monsters would always be monsters.

            Himchan flinched, nearly stumbling over his feet when Daehyun let out a particularly nasty shout of his name, the anger and disgust clearly evident in his voice.

            He kept running.

            Deeper. And deeper.

            Until he didn’t even know where he was.

            Until he couldn’t hear the way Daehyun shouted his name.

            He covered his ears as he collapsed against a tree, trying to block he ringing in his ears of how Daehyun shouted his name with pure _anger_. Was this how his 26 years of effort would go down? One single camping trip? It seemed laughable, really.

            Himchan wanted to cry. And he did. He let out a sob, sitting against the tree, his knees drawn up to his face and hands on his ears, like he did when he was 4 years old and some kid had taken his toy.

            Except instead of a toy being taken, Himchan was at risk of his life being taken.


	7. im running and running and running

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Himchan runs into trouble. Jongup and the others are worried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;; I'm conflicted whether I should update, especially with what's happening (regarding Himchan right now). I'll update this fic one last time today and then go on hiatus until everything is resolved. I'll continue writing, of course!! But I won't update it, unless you all are okay with me updating it, even with current affairs. I won't say anything about it, of course, I am just worried for everyone.  
> 6v6. If you all are not okay with this chapter update, please tell me and I'll take it down!

            Himchan pried his hands away from his ears and looked around, swallowing. Now that the initial panic had ebbed away, he was _scared_ of the wild. Of not knowing where he was. He felt for the knife in his pocket, relieved it was still there and pushed himself up onto his feet, dusting the dirt off. He looked around once more, only seeing trees, trees and more trees, all of them scattered and creating winding trails that led into nowhere. Himchan’s gut told him to keep running and never look back but where could he run? He would just rot out here all alone.

            Were they searching for him?

            A part of him wished they weren’t. He didn’t want to be found – he didn’t want to face them, knowing that Daehyun most likely let it out. Angry Daehyun never knew how to keep his mouth shut.

            He stopped, not even realizing his own legs were just taking him somewhere while he was thinking and looked around again. He walked over to the trees, using his flip knife to carve little notches into them, arrows, to be precise. Small reminders if he ever got lost of which direction he was going in. Himchan continued to wander around, tugging at the sleeves of his sweater as the chilly air seeped through. _What a wonderful way to spend a week break_ , he mused bitterly, his stomach swooping with anxiety. He couldn’t continue to panic, could he though? If he panicked and continued to run around like a chicken without a head, he’d be dead within seconds. Plus, he needed to stay alive for school. Or would his “friends” kill him? Would they turn him into the system that abused humans?

            Maybe the forest was better than living a life of servitude.

            The sun was still high in the sky, the clouds a lurking grey and the birds chirping loudly, echoing through the trees. Despite how peaceful the sky looked, it definitely contrasted with the forest itself. Himchan pulled out his phone, biting his lip when he saw that he had no signal, especially with how far away he was from Youngjae’s hotspot radius it made sense. The time read 1 PM and Himchan let out a quiet groan. He continued walking, pocketing his phone and leaving notches in the trees.

            What else could he do besides continue to go further away from all of them?

* * *

            “Yongguk! Jongup! Junhong! Youngjae!” Jongup whipped around when he heard his name, raising his brows slightly at the sight of Daehyun. His face was flushed, beads of sweat gathered at his temple and he looked angry. Jongup turned to look at the others, who’d been gathered around the empty fire pit and watched as they all turned their heads to Daehyun, his gaze back on the shapeshifter.

            “Why’s Himchan not with you?” Yongguk asked. The vampire flickered his gaze back to the older man, realizing that this was the first he’d heard of Yongguk talk about Himchan all day.

            Daehyun seemed to scowl at the mere mention of Himchan’s name and Jongup worried his bottom lip, feeling his suspicions rise back up. He’d squashed them down when Himchan didn’t smell like a human anymore, but it was still there, the everlasting question and doubt. He couldn’t confirm, as he’d never met another merman before so he could confirm that they did indeed smell like humans – a smell that was so utterly _bittersweet_ and _sour_ to his nose. They never smelled like anything different. They always smelled sour and bitter, with the undertone of lingering sweetness.

            “Himchan’s gone. He ran off like a _coward_ and fucking _traitor_ he is.” Daehyun spat, venom lacing his tone. Jongup watched as the shapeshifters brows drew together with fury. Daehyun didn’t even give them a chance to reply, stunning them all into silence with his next phrase. “Himchan’s a fucking human, can you believe that? He went 26 years like that and fooled all of us into believing he was one of us! What the fuck!? Who knows what he could have had in mind! He could have been fooling us in order to…in order to kill us or something! My parents were right about humans after all, they’re fucking scum.” Daehyun’s chest heaved after his rant, his hands curled into fists at his sides.

            Jongup didn’t know what to say now that his suspicions were answered, but it definitely seemed like the others didn’t believe Daehyun.

            Youngjae laughed nervously. “Daehyun, how would you even know Himchan’s a human? It’s not April Fools…”

            Daehyun threw his hands into the air, frustrated, Jongup assumed, that none of them were listening and believing him. “Fuck! Youngjae, just- He’s a human! An _ubume_ fucking exposed him and they only target humans!” Junhong flinched and Jongup wanted to reach his hand out to touch him on the shoulder in silent comfort. Too bad the ghoul was sitting next to Yongguk, away from him.

            It fell quiet, the only sound being Daehyun’s ragged breathing.

            Jongup swallowed softly, timidly adding his own thoughts. “…I believe Daehyun. I…I had a little bit of a feeling he wasn’t a monster, since when I first met him he smelled like a human…”

            Daehyun set his gaze on Jongup and the vampire flinched slightly under the scrutinizing gaze, seeming to shrink slightly when everyone’s eyes fell on him. “Why didn’t you say anything, Jongup?” The shapeshifter asked, tone accusatory. Junhong finally stood up, his form towering over Daehyun’s slightly, his grey eyes narrowed.

            “Don’t talk to Jongup like that.” The ghoul said through grit teeth. Jongup reached his hand out, tugging on the back of Junhong’s shirt to get him to stand down. Junhong turned his head, looking at the vampire and then sitting down next to him this time, his head bowed slightly. They didn’t need to fight, especially with this situation.

            Jongup swept his gaze across all of them, catching their questioning eyes. “I didn’t say anything because I’ve only known him for a few weeks compared to you all. It didn’t feel…right to say something like that about Himchan.” Yongguk gave a short nod and Jongup felt slightly glad that the older agreed with him. Something about Yongguk agreeing made him feel calm – everything about Yongguk made people want his approval.

            “Jongup’s not wrong, Daehyun…”

            Daehyun opened and closed his mouth, looking to Youngjae for some support. Jongup looked between them, seeing Daehyun’s frame waver slightly. The shapeshifter had been raised in a household that taught him _humans are bad_ and that was why he hated them – or so he’d learned over the course of being in the group of friends. Youngjae seemed to be the only one who shared his views of them, with Yongguk and Himchan more open about their distaste for the abuse of humans; though, Junhong seemed to agree with Yongguk even if he was less vocal about it. Of course, now it made sense, why Himchan would go silent whenever they talked about humans. Jongup on the other hand, didn’t particularly have an opinion on humans. Sure, they didn’t deserve to be treated like dirt, but they were also his source of food.

            “Humans…they’re trash. And…And Himchan’s one of them now- no, he’s _always_ been one of them.” Daehyun finally sat down on the log bench, his hands rubbing his face. “Himchan…He lied to us about _everything_. What if that apartment he lives in isn’t actually his and he doesn’t actually live there? He’s been fucking us over for so many years, aren’t you guys angry?!”

            Jongup opened his mouth to speak but Youngjae beat him to it, the kumiho’s ears laid back and his voice quiet. “Daehyun…I know, humans suck, but this is Himchan….We’ve been with him since we were kids…As much as I don’t… _like_ humans too, I….” Youngjae’s words fell as Daehyun lifted his head, but Jongup waved his hand for the kumiho to continue in silent support. Youngjae didn’t _hate_ humans like Daehyun did but his hate was certainly more bandwagon than ingrained.

            “I like Himchan and…and we should be searching for him right now, Daehyun. I know, you’re scared that he betrayed us all and lied about it but think about it from _his_ perspective.” Youngjae murmured, resting a hand on Daehyun’s knee. The shapeshifter sniffled and rubbed his eyes. Jongup could practically see the guilt washing over him in waves. “Himchan…is a human, but we are his friends, right? We’ve known him since were kids. He knows how all of us feel about humans, don’t you think he’s scared too?”

            Daehyun let out a sound akin to a choked sob. “I’m so angry and scared….” Jongup wanted to go over and comfort him, but was he allowed? Would Daehyun even want to be touched by anyone other than Youngjae? “Himchan…hates monsters, doesn’t he? He’ll probably hate all of us because…because we know his secret now.”

            Jongup turned his gaze away from Daehyun to look at Yongguk, who had been characteristically yet uncharacteristically quiet the whole time. The griffin seemed to be in deep thought, though it almost looked like he was in pain, his brows drawn together. Jongup definitely had sensed some tension between the two eldest friends, but he didn’t know, nor did he want to pry exactly why they had been so off today. Finally, the griffin spoke, his voice low and words tumbling out of his mouth slowly.

            “Daehyun, can I talk with you, Youngjae and Jongup privately? I don’t need to talk with you, Junhong since I know you feel bad towards humans.”

            The vampire nodded, not expecting this sudden confrontation about his views but still agreeing. It wasn’t like he wanted them all to die, after all. And it wasn’t like he had anything to be afraid of. Jongup stood up, stopping slightly when he felt a hand grab onto his. He turned his head back slightly to look at Junhong, the ghouls eyes wide and worried. Jongup spared a look back, seeing Yongguk leading the other two off, Daehyun’s shoulders hunched together. He turned back to Junhong and offered a toothy smile. “It’s okay, Junhong. It’ll be five minutes, okay?” Junhong let go his hand and Jongup felt his heart drop slightly in disappointment. He wanted Junhong to hold his hand more often. With a small nod, Jongup hurried over to where the other three were standing around, Yongguk looking at the kumiho and shapeshifter.

            “I’m sorry for lumping you with these two, Jongup, but I just need you all to know that even if Himchan’s a…human,” Jongup noticed the hesitation in Yongguk’s voice, as if he still couldn’t believe it himself, “we aren’t going to treat him any differently than we usually do. I’m talking to you three first because I know you all have a completely different view of human’s than the rest of us do.” Daehyun seemed to cower slightly at the mention of that.

            “I’m not blaming you for your violent reaction, Daehyun…I get it, you can’t just turn over years and years of morals and values taught to you. It’s ingrained in your body and brain, but you _can_ change. Himchan hasn’t stopped being our friend just because he’s human or anything. We’re just in a different position where _we_ need to protect him.

            Jongup cleared his throat. “You mean we’re going to keep his identity safe from everyone, right? We have to act like he’s a monster, knowing he’s a human.”

            Yongguk nodded and turned his gaze onto Youngjae and Daehyun. “You two are not excluded from it. Take your prejudice somewhere else for once, okay? Maybe you’ll unlearn the things taught to you by biased monsters now that you actually know a human.” The griffins wings spread slightly and Jongup felt himself grow a little awkward when Yongguk gathered the three of them into a hug, his soft feathers enclosing them. Yongguk pulled back, the hug quick and definitely awkward, but still extremely heartfelt. Jongup scratched his neck, fangs poking at his bottom lip as he nibbled it – a habit he needed to get out of. Daehyun and Youngjae seemed flustered – more so Daehyun, his body tense. Guilt, Jongup assumed. He felt guilty for having such fucked up ideals and that those ideals caused their closest friend to run off. Jongup pressed his shoulder against Daehyun’s gently.

            “Now, let’s go search for Himchan, okay?”

            Why did Yongguk’s voice sound so desperate in that moment, Jongup wondered as they splitting into two groups – Junhong with Jongup and Youngjae, while Daehyun and Yongguk searched the air together.

* * *

            Desperate to keep his phone from dying completely, Himchan rarely checked the time as he continued to wander the woods, darkness beginning to set and the cool wind starting to pick up. He didn’t even know how long he’d been walking around, stumbling without end. His feet hurt like hell, the thin soles of his sneakers definitely not made for trekking the rough terrain, rocks and loose branches digging into the soft shoes. Glancing around, he searched for a place to perhaps set up a makeshift shelter for the night. He couldn’t keep walking forever, after all.

            Why had he even run? He should have accepted his fate and just let Daehyun do whatever – expose him, hit him, _anything_ was better than being all alone in the darkness.

            Himchan hated the dark.

            He stopped when he found a large tree, the roots curled above the ground and creating a small space to crawl through. It looks almost….man-made. Himchan walked over and got onto his hands and knees, crawling through the small space and tucking himself right in. He let out a quiet sigh and shut his eyes, quickly dozing off due to the exhaustion washing over his body like a heavy blanket.

            It wasn’t until the sound of leaves crunching and chatter woke Himchan up and the panic gripped his chest as he tried to stuff himself further into the uncomfortable spot. He rubbed his eyes, controlling his breathing as the voices and steps got closer. He crossed his fingers, hoping that whoever it was would just walk past. It definitely didn’t sound like anyone he knew.

            “Jungkook, are you sure you hid that stash of cash here?” A voice asked. Himchan bit his lip hard enough to bleed.

            Another voice responded, “Of course I did, Taehyung. Maybe it’s in the hole? I know for sure I left it around here somewhere…Ugh, Yoongi is going to be pissed if we don’t get it to him…”

            There’s a sound of a smack and then pitiful whining, followed by playful laughter. “Idiot. That money better not be lost. Jin was a super expensive human to pay for. I’m surprised Jaewhan even agreed to give him up, considering Jin was a pain to get – especially since it’s illegal to smuggle out of the sanctuary.”

            Himchan’s breath hitched slightly. _Smugglers_. It wasn’t an unknown fact to the entire world now, that humans who lived in sanctuaries still had to fear monsters who would take them out of what was _supposed_ to be a “safe place” to live. Illegally, of course. It was an unwritten law within the anarchy of the monsters to never touch a human unless they wandered foolishly out of the sanctuary. However, it didn’t stop the selfish, terrible and _disgusting_ monsters who enjoyed abusing and using humans to their advantage, adding them to their workforce or even worse. The thought of being caught made Himchan want to sob. He’d gone 26 years without a hitch. Why _now_ of all time? How could he slip up so terribly?

            “You hear that, Tae?” The other voice – Jungkook – asked. Himchan dug his fingernails into his skin, watching the pale, soft flesh break into white crescents. There was silence and shuffling and suddenly a pair of bright pink eyes were staring right at Himchan.

            He screamed.

            Hands grabbed at him and Himchan desperately tried to thwart them off, his hands hitting wildly as he tried and tried and _tried_ to get those hands off of him. His body was mercilessly pulled out of the small hole and tossed to the rough ground, his sweater torn and the knees of his jeans dirtied. He was sure the makeup had smeared on his face, leaving trails of unfinished green scales. Himchan breathed heavily, his chest heaving as vomit threatening to escape his mouth, elbows barely holding him up on the ground. He felt _exposed_ and ruined.

            A pair of pink eyes met him in the eyes again and he dry heaved, the man with pink eyes laughing softly. “You’re not a monster.” Himchan couldn’t hold the whimper that escaped the back of his throat, fear seizing his entire body. “Tae, look. It’s not a monster.”

            _It_. Like he wasn’t even a deserving to be called a human.

            A pair of golden eyes came into view, the air nearly escaping Himchan’s lungs. They were shapeshifter eyes, golden, bright and the pupils were slits – that of a goats. It reminded him of Daehyun. “Huh. You’re right. The thing’s got makeup on its face to resemble scales.” The shapeshifter – Taehyung – commented, his lips curling into a wide smile that made his pearly teeth stand out in the fading light of the dark. Himchan began to scramble away once his limbs unfroze, letting out a shriek when Jungkook grabbed his leg, stopping from going anywhere. He kicked and kicked and _kicked_ , trying to throw off the hand, his face flushing bright red when it was futile and all the two monsters were doing was laughing. At him. For being so weak and unable to do anything.

            “It’s trying so hard to escape.” Taehyung chirped, leaning forward slightly to peer right into Himchan’s face. “You think Yoongi will give us something in return if we bring this with us?”

            Jungkook shrugged and Himchan could feel his vision beginning to blur around the edges as his consciousness faded in and out due to the onslaught of fear and anxiety. “Maybe. We should find that other wad of cash Jaehwan gave us. Check the place where we got this thing out of.” Himchan could barely make out the silhouette of Taehyung walking away to the burrow in the roots, his breathing shallow. He didn’t even think they cared he was going to probably pass out soon. A hand gripped his chin and Himchan breathed heavily through his nose, his eyes narrowed as he tried not to show that the monsters were breaking his psyche and scaring him.

            It didn’t work as well as he wanted to.

            “Cute. It’s trying to be brave. What’re you doin’ all out in the woods with merman makeup on, little human?” Jungkook asked, his pink eyes bright with curiosity. Almost innocent had it not been for the situation. “Did you escape your little sanctuary? How bad.”

            _I’m probably older than you_ , Himchan spat in his mind, feeling small and looked down upon by the monsters. They didn’t care for upholding traditions of the country they lived in when it came to the humans. After all, humans were beneath the culture that _they_ themselves created. He caught the flicker of a tail behind the monsters holding his chin in a bruising grip, his eyes going wide.

            A Tanuki. His mother had informed him on the different kinds of monsters from every fairytale and legend she could and he had a whole bookshelf of them hidden in his closet. These were mischievous and cunning folklore creatures, excellently skilled in absolutely anything they did – able to turn back and forth from human to animal.

            Himchan’s vision swam and his hearing went fuzzy as the world went dark, leaving him vulnerable and unknowing of anything.


	8. im trapped and alone. or am i?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Himchan meets a new face. Youngjae and the others find a shoe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;; i'm updating the chapters as soon as I have written the next chapter after, that way it is faster to update !!  
> Also, I did indeed get accepted for the job, and I've been working for the past 3 weeks now? It's fun! A little stressful having to keep up schoolwork with everything, but fun!
> 
> Anyway, enjoy ;)) And sorry for any typos and grammar mistakes!!

            Youngjae shoved his hands into his pockets, feeling the dreading pit grow in his stomach the longer they wandered the woods without any clue as to where they were going. Himchan…Himchan was missing and Daehyun was the last to see him – and the worst thing of all? Himchan was a human. It still hadn’t hit the kumiho fully that their best friend of so many years was a human. How had he managed to go so long without getting caught?

            On one hand, Youngjae felt betrayed, siding with Daehyun’s anger but on the other hand, Himchan had been there through all of their troubles; there wasn’t anyway he could hate him. Glancing up at the sky, Youngjae hoped Daehyun would understand and grow out of his judgment of humans – though, he was a hypocrite himself for saying so. He let out a dry little laugh, earning side glances from Jongup and Junhong. He dismissed them with a smile.       

            “Sorry, just thinking.”

            Jongup raised his brows. “About…?”

            Youngjae pursed his lips. “Things. You know, Himchan, this whole situation, finding him…How I feel about humans and all that jazz.”

            “And, uhm, how do you feel about humans?” Junhong asked quietly, his tall frame slightly hunched over, the worry swimming in his grey eyes.

            The kumiho bit his lip. How _did_ he feel? “Well, I…I feel bad about all the things I said, because they probably hurt Himchan a lot, but…I still don’t particularly like them all that much because that’s like…the norm and all for monsters, you know, but I…yeah. Opinions, wow.” Youngjae trailed off, unable to put his thoughts into one coherent and understandable explanation. It was a lot to take in, after all.

            “Bandwagon hate is a strong thing,” Jongup commented off-hand and Youngjae felt a pang of guilt. He wasn’t raised in an environment that conditioned him to think badly of humans as his parents could care less. In a way, his parents were like Jongup. Feeling bad, but uncaring as it was just how the world was now. He’d only begun to hate humans as a result of Daehyun’s influence and the general census of the monster population. He coughed, not wanting to let on that he definitely was a bandwagon hater – it sounded worse when it was admitted.

            “Nah, not really, but call it what you will.”

            Jongup opened his mouth to retaliate, a bold move, but Junhong excited yell cut him off. Which, Youngjae was thankful for.

            “Look! There’s cuts in the tree! Himchan had a knife, right? He could have left them!” Junhong scurried ahead of them, forcing Youngjae and Jongup to play catch up and surround one of the trees. Youngjae narrowed his eyes, focusing on the notch in the tree.

            “It’s in the shape of an arrow…” He noted, running his fingers over the shallow mark. “Well, we’re probably going in the right direction judging by the head of the arrow. Jongup, can you whistle and call the birdbrains down?”

            Jongup shuffled awkwardly next to him. “Uh, I don’t know how to whistle…”

            Youngjae looked over at him and then at Junhong, questioning him as well only to get a shake of the head. Well, that was certainly something. “Okay, fine, yeah, I’ll whistle.” Truthfully, it could barely be called a whistle, but it was _something_ and that counted. He pursed his lips together, letting out a soft, high whistle.

            Almost instantly a bird came diving down through the tops of the trees, landing in the form of Daehyun, eyes wide. “What? Did you guys find something? Where’s Himchan?!” Following Daehyun, Yongguk came in view more slowly, landing with almost angelic grace unlike the shapeshifters reckless diving.

            Youngjae motioned to the notch in the tree. “Well, he went that way for sure. Try heading further in that direction and see if you can find anything from the air, okay?”

            Yongguk gave a short nod and without another word, only a determined look on his face, flew back up into the sky, his wings carrying him above the treetops. Daehyun was hesitant and Youngjae reached over to rest a hand on his shoulder. “We’ll find him, okay? I know, it’s hard and you’re confused, Dae. But, it’s for the best to accept him back with open arms.” Daehyun gave a slow nod and turned back into a sparrow, flittering back into the air. Youngjae turned to the two freshmen and tilted his head in the direction they were heading. “Well, we should keep going.”

            The three of them kept walking in the dark, their phones out now to help see, though it was mostly for Junhong as his ghoul eyesight was weak in the dark. Technically, they should have stopped, maybe set up camp or something and then continued searching in the morning – but anything could happen to Himchan in the time they weren’t searching and that scared Youngjae.

            A shrill trill snapped them out of their mindless walking daze and Youngjae looked up, spotting a bird dashing back and forth. _Daehyun_. “They must have found something. Let’s go.” He grabbed Junhong and Jongup’s hands, dashing forward and practically dragging them along with him as he hurried to where Daehyun was trying to lead him.

            He really wasn’t expecting what he saw.

            A tree stood, the roots gnarled and protruding from the ground. The dirt around it was loose and there was clear evidence of a body being dragged out from the makeshift burrow underneath the roots. But that wasn’t was shocked Youngjae into silence, his hands slipping from the freshmen’s arms.

            There was a shoe, white, worn and dirty, but nonetheless a shoe just laying out in the dirt.

            “That’s….Himchan’s shoe..” Junhong croaked out from beside him. Youngjae turned his head to look at the young ghoul, grey eyes wide with fear and horror. Anything could have happened. He turned back to the scene, finally taking notice of Daehyun and Yongguk standing silently, staring at the shoe as if it would procure some answer as to where their friend was.

            _Friend_. That’s what Himchan was. Regardless if he was a human. He was a friend first and foremost. Youngjae felt his heart clench slightly. To think he had such thoughts towards humans – such violent and cruel thoughts, when they were already suffering because of _monsters_. Suffering because of _them_. Maybe…Maybe it was time for a change in views.

            Daehyun picked up the shoe, his nails digging into it. “We’ll keep searching. Even if we have to look all night. He’s…He’s our friend and I fucked up royally. I’m sorry. I…I need to change my ways and my thoughts, I…” The shapeshifter fell silent, staring at the shoe with burning intensity. Youngjae caught the glisten in his eyes, walking over to comfort his boyfriend who was on the verge of tears.

            “Daehyun…we need to rest first. You need to sit and think and we all need to catch our thoughts, okay? Even if it’s for a few hours. Nothing bad will happen to Himchan, okay?”

            The shapeshifter dropped the shoe and stared at Youngjae, his lips quivering. Youngjae caught sight of Jongup moving over, the shorter monster bumping shoulders with Daehyun. “You’re not in the wrong, Daehyun. We’re all worried and scared for him. He’s a human, but he’s hung out with us enough to know how to survive, okay? He’s a tough guy, he won’t let himself die out here.”

            “But…If I had just been like Yongguk or even Junhong, he wouldn’t have anything to fear and he wouldn’t have run off so quickly…I-I…I don’t know how I feel about humans but I just…I care for Himchan a lot, and I don’t want anything to happen to him because…because he’s someone special to Yongguk and he’s someone special to all of us.”

            Youngjae ignored the curious glances from Junhong and Jongup when Daehyun mentioned how special Himchan was to Yongguk, his eyes flickering up to catch the pained expression on Yongguk’s face. Something definitely happened between Himchan and Yongguk that they weren’t telling anyone. “Dae, just for a little bit, okay? We’ll go right back to searching. It’s okay if you don’t know how you feel about humans in general. It’s enough that you feel bad for Himchan, okay? It’s a start.”

            Daehyun pressed his forehead against Youngjae’s shoulder and in that short moment, it seemed like everyone’s emotions clouded the air, creating a thick air of uncertainty and worry.

            “Okay….”

            Youngjae pushed Daehyun off of him gently, holding him by the shoulders. He watched as Yongguk began to break off the roots on the tree, building a small fire with the lighter in his pocket. Junhong and Jongup moved away to go sit on the cold ground near the fire, leaning against the tree. Far enough not to burn but close enough to stay warm. “Come on, Dae.” He steered the shapeshifter over and sat down with him, making space for Yongguk to sit in the middle. Yongguk sat in between all of them, his wings spreading and pulling them all closer, creating a warm shelter of feathers.

            The five of them stared into the fire until a soft sniffle broke the thick silence. Youngjae looked over to see Junhong pressing his face into Jongup’s shoulder, the grey of the vampires clothing growing darker as it got wet.

            He looked away, letting Jongup comfort the ghoul, his hold on Daehyun tightening slightly.

            Perhaps they all cried, huddled around the fire, drenched in the dark and filled with worry.

* * *

            Cold. Cold and hard. Those were two things Himchan registered as he blinked open his eyes, the world swimming in front of him, moving in an almost slow fashion. Like he was underwater. Except, if he was underwater, he shouldn’t be able to breathe, right? He rubbed his eyes, his limbs feeling like lead. The world came into focus and Himchan sat upright, his palms slamming down on the cold concrete beneath him. Metal bars surrounded him and he felt his throat run dry as he realised it was a cage he’d woken up in. He twisted his head, looking around and finding other cages littered around, all of them empty but a few. The figures inside seemed to be sleeping, however, dead to the world.

            He clenched his jaw slightly, feeling the panic rise in his throat, bringing bile with it. He was trapped in a place he didn’t know and he was missing a shoe, that’s for sure. He took deep breaths, willing himself to calm down and rested his back against the cool of the metal bars.

            “You’re awake.”

            Himchan whipped his head around to the source of the noise, eyes wide before he relaxed. Barely, however. There was a human in the cage next to him, black hair cut messily and shining under the harsh fluorescent lights. He was pretty, Himchan noted. Lips plump and cheeks full, although his eyes – as beautiful a brown they were – seemed dead to the world, dull and darkened. “Uhm- Uh….yeah, I am, I guess- I- Where am I?” Why did his voice seem so small and his speech slurred? Everything _hurt_.

            The man in the other cage cocked his head, offering a soft smile and laughed quietly. “Sorry. You were brought in unconscious by them, so everything must be confusing. I’m Jin.”

            _Jin_? Himchan furrowed his brows. He remembered that name….the monsters were talking about that name earlier. Or was it yesterday? How long had he been unconscious?

            “Don’t worry, you’ve only been out for an hour or maybe two. I don’t really know, but it certainly isn’t morning yet. Maybe around 11 PM right now? And, to answer your question about where you are…Well, I don’t even know where we are truthfully. I just know this warehouse, or maybe it’s a house and we’re in the basement, exists somewhere within the woods.”

            Himchan bit his lip. Well, if they were still in the woods that meant he could possibly escape and continue running away from them. “Oh….Well, thank you, Jin. I’m Himchan.”

            Jin smiled again. “Nice to meet you, Himchan. If you have any questions, you can ask me, though I’m not sure how well I could answer them. I’ve only been here for two days, I think. Not long. The others have been here a while.”

            He looked around at the scarce number of humans in the cages, his body tingling with fear. “What do they do with the…humans in the cages?” Himchan reached a hand up to his face, touching it as he spoke and pulled it away to find not a single trace of his makeup. They’d wiped it off, probably.

            “Ah. They auction them off to monsters. You know, the flow of humans into the whole servitude ‘business’ is very small, so monsters who want to have a human servant usually come to these…supposedly illegal smuggling businesses. But everyone knows they’re not really illegal, with how the monsters rule everything in an organized anarchy. There are no laws regarding humans.” Jin shrugged, his posture relaxed and perhaps even screaming “I give up!”

            Himchan shuddered. Of course. Organized anarchy within the society, supposed rules of how smuggling was illegal as they had to monitor human populations and smuggling “ruined” the numbers. But, if they had no laws for humans, how was it illegal? It wasn’t. He looked down, grimacing at how dirty his clothes were, the knees of his jeans scuffed with dirt and his sweater ripped on the side. “….I…-”

            He barely could finish his thoughts when a loud, screeching sound broke his words, a door opening on the far side of the basement (or warehouse?). A figure walked in, followed by the two monsters Himchan previously encountered. The figure was short, but still fairly tall, and at his back were two large, black wings, tattered and Himchan couldn’t help but shudder at the mere sight of them. It wasn’t hard to know what he was – Himchan had read upon them in a book on German folklore.

            _Night raven_. Or, even known as the _death raven_. The sign of omen and death.

            Himchan glanced over to his side, catching sight of Jin who looked relatively frozen, his eyes looking at the ground. He followed his lead, looking down at the grey cement of the cage. The two monsters from before – Jungkook and Taehyung – chattered away loudly to the night raven but Himchan couldn’t pay attention to their words. A chill ran down his spine as the group of three stood outside of his cage. He could feel the strangers piercing gaze and flickered his gaze upwards, the air leaving his lungs as his body seemed rooted to the spot.

            Black. Completely black and whirling deep, like an abyss. Himchan tore his gaze away and the night raven let out a raspy chuckle.

            “He’ll sell well. You two did good.”

            “Thanks, Yoongi!” Jungkook chirped, his face pressing up against the bars, tail waving slowly though his pink eyes were swimming with happiness at the praise.

            _Yoongi_. He knew that name too. They had mentioned it earlier too – something about Yoongi and money. Was he the leader?

            Himchan spared another glance upwards, glad that Yoongi wasn’t looking at them, his back turned. Jungkook and Taehyung peered at him like he was some animal in a zoo, proud grins on their faces. Proud they had caught him.

            At least they didn’t know his name. _Thankfully_. Had they known his name, it would have been so much harder to hide his identity – he would have to hide himself away and never come out again. Maybe he would be forced to live in the sanctuary. He looked away from the two monsters, his gaze falling on the high ceiling, pipes snaking along it. If he escaped – no, when he escaped, he could blend right back into monsters society without a hitch. If only his friends didn’t out him to the world first.

            “I’ve contacted Namjoon to come over and check out the humans.” Yoongi finally spoke, his voice kept quiet, but it sent shivers down Himchan’s spine with how calculated and cutting his words were.

            “What about Jimin and Hoseok?” Taehyung asked, “Don’t they deserve to see the new humans too? If they see the product, won’t it be easier for them to advertise them?”

            Himchan spared a glance over at Jin, who was still staring at the ground with a look that seemed to bore holes through the cement floor. Well, he certainly seemed to have some experience with Yoongi and whoever the other names were. No help there.

            He let out a quiet sigh, something not unnoticed by the monsters. “Bored?” Taehyung asked, cocking his head. “Don’t worry, once the others come it’ll be fun!”

            Yoongi finally turned back around, slipping something into his back pocket that looked like a phone. It mostly like was a phone, Himchan noted silently, his jaw clenched slightly. He just wanted to leave. His heart skipped slightly – he _missed_ his friends. Friends who were monsters, but they were monsters who’d stuck by his side and confided in him, knowing he held no bias. He wanted to see them again. Who would have thought, Kim Himchan, who hated monsters would actually miss a group of monsters he could call _family_.

            He missed Yongguk, with his affectionate names and bright gummy smile and his laugh. His missed Daehyun, who spoke too loudly sometimes and stole their food and cracked jokes. He missed Youngjae, with his snide remarks and snarky attitude and his warm laugh. He missed Junhong, who was cute and shy and radiated innocent warmth. He even missed Jongup, with his silent support and his giggle and his smart words.

            “Well, let’s go, Taehyung, Jungkook. I believe Namjoon will come soon and then Jimin and Hoseok will arrive tomorrow from the city to look Jin and…this human over.” Yoongi didn’t even wait to see whether the two monsters were following him, his strides long and confident as he walked away. Taehyung and Jungkook followed along quickly. The air seemed to relax, dispersing the tension and allowing Himchan to actually breathe.

            Himchan looked over at Jin, who seemed a lot more nervous than he’d been earlier. “Jin…? Are you okay?”

            Jin looked up at him finally, shaking his head. “I don’t know what to expect from these…other three monsters…I’m scared, truthfully. I’ve been here two days and never have I met these other monsters. I’ve only heard of their names.”

            “….Well we’re together, right? We’ll…we’ll get through it together.” Himchan offered Jin a smile, as confident as he could make it but he knew it fell flat. Forced and worried.

            He didn’t know what to expect either.


	9. i need you, i really do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Himchan loses the new friend. Yongguk misses Himchan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some childhood memories from jongup's past! and uhm, sorry for being so long ;;  
> i've decided i'll just update as i finish the chapters bc the plan i had didn't work with my anxiety constantly messing me up.  
> i hope you guys like the chapter ahhh !! next chapter is almost done ;)

_2031_

_“Jongup!”_

_Seven-year-old Jongup perked up from where he was sitting on his bed, his small hands clutching the small tablet. He set it aside, hopping down from his bed decorated with rocket ship sheets, running into the kitchen where his mother called him. He stopped in front of her, his red eyes wide and blinking curiously. His mom usually only called him over whenever she had the red juice to give him or if she wanted to give him a goodnight hug even though he wasn’t really tired at night. Jongup tilted his head slightly. “Yes, mama?”_

_The woman smiled, her face youthful and without a trace of a wrinkle. Her eyes were a bright red, her hair tied back in a sleek black ponytail. Her hands were empty, which was an odd sight for Jongup. “Jongup, it’s time you learn how to actually drink now.”_

_He blinked. “Drink, mama?”_

            _“Yes, sweetheart. It’s time you learn how to drink the red juice you like a lot. It comes from creatures called humans. They’re harmless creatures. For us, they only serve as a food source.” His family had kept their human servants a secret from Jongup, the humans only coming out to clean and cook when it was late and night and the small child was already sleep. He’d never met them before – he didn’t even know they existed, nonetheless what they were._

_Jongup nodded slowly, even if he didn’t understand anything his mother was saying. It seemed important and his seven-year-old mind stored it away unconsciously. His eyes were swimming with curiosity about these “humans” his mother mentioned. “Okay, mama! But why now?”_

_His mother knelt down, sliding her thumb across his cheek. “You know how mama has long, scary teeth?”_

_“They’re not scary, mama.” Jongup countered, though he nodded in understanding. His mother had sharp teeth and so did his dad. He wanted teeth like that, and lately his own tiny versions of his parents teeth had finally grown in._

_She laughed, a flash of a toothy smile on her lips. “Okay, Uppie, if you say so. But, your teeth have finally grown in, right? That means you’re growing up and soon you’ll have big, scary teeth like mama and papa when you get older. And you have to learn how to drink like mama and papa for now, so that you can survive when you move out.”_

_Jongup pouted at the mention of moving out, his tiny hands curling into determined fists. “I’m not gonna move out! I want to live with mama and papa forever!”_

_“Of course you are, baby.” She pinched his cheeks affectionately. “But someday you’re going to grow up into a big, strong, adult vampire and meet lots of other monsters who are different from you.”_

_His red eyes widened at the thought of meeting others, his bottom lip quivering. “But…But I don’t want to!” Jongup stomped his foot slightly, chubby cheeks jiggling at the force. As a homeschooled vampire, he didn’t want to go out and meet other monsters, ones his mother and father told him about. They always tried to inform him of the outside world, away from their house buried in the shadows of the neighborhood, wanting him to grow up with knowledge and not be a recluse._

_His mother chuckled, running her thin fingers through Jongup’s dark brown hair. “Mmnh, I know you don’t. So, how about we stop talking about school and go teach you how to feed from humans?”_

_Jongup’s eyes sparkled with excitement, his previous mini pouting session already forgotten. “Yes please, mama! Will I get to meet humans in the outside world?”_

_“Ah, that you will learn about when you are a little older, Jongup.” She told him, taking his hand and walking with him to a door, a sign drilled against it with the words, ‘Servant Room’ written boldly against it. They walked inside, the room dark but even so, Jongup could see the outlines of four beds. How did he never know such a room existed? His grip on his mothers hand tightened and she gave him a comforting squeeze. “Jaebum, Yugyeom, Tzuyu and Chaeyoung, come on out. I’ve got a special guest for you to meet.”_

_Four figures emerged from the shadows, Jongup’s eyes widening They were so different from him and what his mother said monsters were. They looked…plain._

_His mother pushed Jongup forward slightly, her tone kind and polite. “Which of you are willing to teach my son how to properly drink?”_

_Seven-year-old Jongup did not know what the future held in store for him as one of the servants walked over to him. He didn’t know how disgusting it felt to sink his tiny fangs into the soft flesh on the exposed neck or how weird it felt to drink the blood filling his small mouth._

_The human who’d walked up to him, ‘Jaebum’, his mother called him, hardly flinched when Jongup’s teeth broke the skin. His mother was gently running her fingers up and down Jongup’s back, wet, hot and salty tears falling down his face as he drank, his instincts working automatically. He didn’t like it. No, he hated it. The warm liquid filled his mouth but he kept on drinking and drinking and drinking, filling himself up. The human’s scent was disgusting, a bitter invasion of his nose. Why did they smell like that? Why, why, why? Jongup pulled himself away, hiccupping and wiping his eyes and mouth, the red smearing across his lips and the back of his hand._

_Gross. Gross, gross, gross._

_“I don’t- I don’t like it, mama!” He wailed, his body shaking. It tasted good, but it felt gross and weird and humans smelled nasty._

_His mother ran her fingers through his hair, waving off the humans who disappeared into the shadows. “Oh, baby…It’s okay, you’ll get used to it, okay? It’s weird for everyone at first. Why don’t you like it?”_

_Jongup sniffled wetly, feeling relatively calmed down thanks to the fingers in his hair, his red eyes glistening with tears. “They smell w-weird. And it feels weird. I like the r-red juice in bags b-better…”_

_“Their scent? Oh, Uppie.” She crooned, pulling him into a hug. “It’s okay, all humans smell like that. I’ve never met one who didn’t smell so bitter. You’ll get used to it, I promise. But, if you really don’t like it, we can use the bags for you.”_

_Jongup pressed his face into the crook of his mother’s neck, her arms wrapping around him and lifting him up, carrying him out of the dark room. He liked the bags so much better, but even his seven-year-old brain knew he would have to get used to it eventually. The breaking of the skin, the way his fangs dug into the soft flesh and the way the blood just rushed into his mouth without end._

_“Okay, mama.”_

* * *

           Himchan rested his back against the bars, sitting inside crossed legged, his fingers playing with the frayed edges of his torn pant leg. Jin sat quietly as well, his fingers drumming against the concrete in an idle tune – catchy, Himchan noticed. The three monsters had left at least 20 minutes ago, or maybe it was longer than that. Himchan didn’t know. He had felt around for his phone earlier, only to find it missing. Which meant either the monsters had taken it, or it had fallen out of his pocket in their tussle.

            He hoped it was the latter.

            The large metal door creaked open again, startling Himchan. He whipped his head to look over at Jin, who had also perked up at the sound, his dark eyes flitting around the room as if trying to find a place where he could look at instead of at the monsters. A lone figure walked in and Himchan assumed it was who Yoongi had called _Namjoon_ , as the others mentioned seemed to be a team of some sort. The man’s strides were long and seemed to melt into one another, making it seem like he floated along the ground. His hair was swept back, silver and shining in the harsh lights. Himchan’s breath caught when he took notice of his monster quality the man he assumed was Namjoon carried. Namjoon’s eyes sharp and narrow, but that wasn’t what made Himchan’s skin crawl. It was the flicker of a skull like an old film reel on Namjoon’s face.

            _Death_. The Reaper.

            Himchan wanted to run, the vibes Namjoon carried volatile and most of all _scary_. Himchan was scared of this man who walked closer. He looked over to Jin, who seemed to share the same sentiment. They were the two newest editions, it was obvious as the other humans scattered around were still asleep or too far gone into submission to even blink an eye.

            Namjoon came closer and closer before stopping in front of Himchan’s confines. Himchan controlled his breathing, counting in his head the beats of each breath he took in and released.

            And then Namjoon smiled, bright and warm and suddenly Himchan felt like everything would be alright. Namjoon was warm and inviting, his dark eyes swimming with life and his skin glowing, cheeks full. When he spoke, Himchan felt at ease, his mind lulling into a calm sense of security, the low rumble of Namjoon’s tone almost reminiscent of Yongguk’s. “Yoongi told me to see the new catch,” Namjoon spoke, “You both seem like the popular type. Pretty. Eye candy for monsters to show off.”

            Just like that the false security shattered. Namjoon no longer seemed warm and inviting. His eyes were a piercing, cold gaze and his words buried deep into his skin, leaving him cold. How could he think Namjoon was warm? Warm like Yongguk was with his smiles and low, thunderous rumble of a voice. Himchan wanted to cry.

            Namjoon gave Himchan one more once over, seeming to notice how he did not fall easily and then moved over to Jin’s cage. Himchan could only watch as his newfound friend fell so easily for the charm of Namjoon’s false warmth, unable to do anything. He wanted to call out and warn Jin, to stop him from melting and becoming as dumb minded as the other humans. He really did, but his voice just would not come out. He watched with wide eyes as Jin moved closer to the man who exuded _death,_ pressing his face against the bars and letting Namjoon touch his face. It was something Himchan had never seen before, the way Namjoon could force these humans, so strong and defiant, into being some dogs for monsters who just _wanted_ a human because the human population was so controlled.

 It was usually the opposite way with humans who were caught legally, those who wandered out of the sanctuary. Despite not liking their situation, they could do nothing but except it and do it willingly. Punishment was punishment after all. But this…This was terrible.

            Death was a sickly sweet talker, the fairytales had told Himchan and he was witnessing it. Death could coax any human it wanted into following it to their demise through any method, and it seemed Namjoon’s was through the false warmth and bright smile. Himchan doubled over, feeling bile rise in throat at the thought that he could have ended up like all of the humans in the room, dead eyed and subservient. He felt cold and yet he was sweating, thanking his brain for being quick to catch on and not let the words Namjoon said fall on deaf ears like Jin was doing.

            He couldn’t look.

            He just wanted to get out and run and run and run.

            “We’ll have to work with you a bit more, won’t we? You’re a smart one, catching on to my trick so quickly, unlike Jin.” Himchan picked his head up, seeing Namjoon in front of him. He clenched his fists, jaw clenched and refused to say a word, out of fear his voice would waver. Namjoon on laughed, the skull flickering over his face once more like a film reel. The sound was cold and hollow, like the metal bars surrounding Himchan. He felt trapped just hearing it. “It would do you good to sleep before Jimin and Hoseok come tomorrow morning. They won’t give you any rest.” With those final words, Namjoon walked away, clearly pleased with himself for converting Jin so easily.

            Himchan turned his head away, looking over at Jin who sat dumbly in his cage, those once defiant dark eyes dulled and submissive. That could have been him. He shut his eyes tightly, feeling the suffocating feeling rise in his gut, blooming and wrapping him in anxiety, pulling him into the darkness. It was so cold. He pulled his knees close to himself, cursing the world for making him a human. Cursing himself for running away – for being a coward. He rocked on his heels, biting back the sobs that threatened to escape his throat.

            He continued rocking on his heels until he exhausted himself with unshed tears, falling asleep against the cold cement of the cage.

* * *

              Yongguk glanced around tiredly, his eyes blinking blearily as the sun filtered in through the leaves. His wings felt sore and tired from being stretched so long, so he folded them behind him, looking at the still sleeping figures of his friends. He pulled out his phone, teeth chewing anxiously on his bottom lip. Himchan had run off last night and it was currently morning, meaning they had almost spent two days of their free week. They had a whole week of no class, which meant a whole week of no one knowing they were currently in the middle of the woods looking for their friend. Who happened to be a human. Yongguk was still reeling from shock, but he didn’t _care_ that Himchan was a human.

            He just wanted Himchan back. Why would he care who, or what Himchan was? He _liked_ him for who he was, kind and warm with the most brilliant smile.

            “…Is it morning…?” Yongguk turned his head, spotting Daehyun who seemed to be roused from sleep, his gold eyes grabbing focus and swimming with left over sleep.

            Yongguk nodded.

            “Fuck!” Daehyun sat up straight, knocking Youngjae, who had been leaning against him, over. The kumiho let out a startled cry, which in turn woke the vampire and ghoul, the two freshmen jolting awake and looking about with wide eyes. “Fuck, we said we would rest for a _little_ bit, not a whole fucking night! We’re supposed to be out there searching for Himchan, not here, resting and lazing around!”

            “Daehyun, calm down, please….It’s only 7 AM, we still have the whole day to search for Himchan.” Yongguk said, his tone calm and controlled. He didn’t need to get angry at Daehyun – he knew exactly what the shapeshifter was feeling. The frustration and unbearable anxiety of not knowing what was happening to Himchan.

            The shapeshifter got up, anger rolling off of his body in waves. “It’s _only_ 7 AM? We could have been out and searching for him earlier. Hell, maybe we would have found him already! Why aren’t you fucking worried Yongguk-”

            Yongguk’s irritation flared. Both from the way Daehyun accused him and how Daehyun seemed so concerned when only hours ago he was complaining about humans and laughing at their suffering. He stood up, his wings spread, tone low and threatening. He didn’t raise it however.

“I _am_ fucking worried, Jung Daehyun. You have _no_ idea how worried I am, to know that the person I fucking _love_ is out there somewhere and I can’t do anything about it. Don’t fucking tell me I’m not worried. How _dare_ you act like this when only hours ago you were fucking pissed that Himchan turned out to be a human, huh? Don’t fucking _act_ like all of a sudden you care about humans, Daehyun. You have no fucking idea, you have _none_!” He was making no sense, his anger directed at Daehyun for a number of reasons that seemed to blend together into incoherency.

            Daehyun stood, his jaw dropping in shock, fists curled and trembling by his side.

            “Okay, okay, stop! Yongguk, Daehyun, please don’t be fucking angry at each other. We need to work together in order to find Himchan, okay?” Youngjae stepped in between the two, his arms outstretched, ears up on end and his tail flicking anxiously.

            Yongguk inhaled, exhaling the air slowly through his nose as he lowered his wings. He looked over to his side, feeling guilt swell up almost immediately when he saw how Junhong seemed to curl into Jongup. He turned back to Daehyun, biting the inside of his cheek. “I’m…sorry. I’m worried too, okay?”

            Daehyun relaxed his fist, if only just slightly, his words coming out gritted and through clenched teeth. “It’s okay. I understand. I’m still the asshole who hates humans. The bad guy. While Youngjae and Jongup are the super sweet characters with redemption arcs. It’s okay, I understand that.” Yongguk felt those words like a punch to his gut. He had accused Daehyun of being unable to change – how could he? People could change, couldn’t they? So why had he said Daehyun couldn’t possibly change in the span of hours, going from hating to being sorry for humans.

            Perhaps he still couldn’t believe Daehyun’s words after so many years of hearing such vile things. But why could he believe Youngjae? Yongguk swallowed. Maybe it was because he partially blamed Daehyun for being the cause of Himchan running away.

            “Daehyun,” Youngjae placed a hand on the shapeshifters arm, “that’s not what Yongguk meant, you know that.” He looked to Junhong and Jongup, the two standing up. “Why don’t we just go and keep searching for Himchan, okay? We’ll be sure to find him before night fall if we leave now.”

            It was a false promise, Yongguk knew. Youngjae was only saying it to calm Daehyun down. And it worked. The shapeshifter relaxed, looking at Youngjae with a glimmer of hope. Yongguk felt even more guilty for yelling and blaming the other subconsciously. Daehyun wasn’t at fault. Daehyun was just as much Himchan’s friend as Yongguk was – he had every right to be worried, even if he probably still didn’t like humans.

            As long as Daehyun accepted Himchan, Yongguk was okay with it. It was a start.

            Junhong and Jongup kicked dirt over the fire pit which was already dead, the ashes buried beneath soil. “Shall we continue the way we were doing it before? Yongguk and Daehyun in the air and the three of us on the ground?” Jongup asked, cocking his head.

            Yongguk could see the fatigue beginning to wear on their bodies, clothes already dirty with sweat. None of them were used to walking so long and far, not were they used to being exposed to nature so openly, after all they lived in the city. He tugged a hand through his hair, grimacing at the thick build up of oil from being out so long. “Yeah, let’s continue like that. It’ll be easier, plus me and Daehyun can spot things from the air.”

            “Alright, well…let’s go then.” Youngjae, Junhong and Jongup moved ahead, leaving Yongguk standing with Daehyun for a brief moment. Yongguk glanced over, spreading his wings as Daehyun morphed into a small bird once again, flittering above and between the treetops. The griffin gave one, strong flap of his wings and pushed himself out of the treetops, soaring above them and looking down for anything, making sure to keep in range of the other three on the ground.

            The group of them continued for a while without a single trace, unsure whether they were going in the right direction and hesitant to split up in case they got lost. Jongup had taken to marking the areas they passed with large piles of rocks or scraps of pebbles he found, just so they knew the way back. Yongguk’s wings were growing exhausted and he felt gross, sweaty and yet he couldn’t stop because he _needed_ to find Himchan.

            Precious, precious Himchan. His heart clenched slightly. Yongguk didn’t want anything to happen to his longtime crush.

            Musing silently to himself, it was Jongup who broke him out of it, his voice loud and surprised from the ground, making him stop his flight.

“Hey, isn’t this Himchan’s phone?”


	10. i was lost and now i'm found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Himchan runs. Jongup and the gang find a building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW// Abuse in the beginning - skip italics if you'd like to avoid it
> 
> :) No words from me today, but I hope you all enjoy the update uwu
> 
> yell at me on twt @ SunnieBAP if you'd like

_2037_

_Junhong’s nails dug into the rough, wooden surface of the floor, his grey eyes squeezed shut as the tears plopped to the ground in quiet droplets. The eleven-year-old ghoul was currently underneath his bed, his body scrunched beneath the narrow slit of the floor and his bed. It was a tight fit but he managed to fit himself underneath out of necessity. He dug his teeth into his bottom lip to stop the pathetic whimper escaping his lips. The yelling had silenced but he knew it was only a matter of seconds before it came back – the slur of his dads words as he yelled into the house containing only Junhong and the one human servant._

_“Where the fuck are you, Junhong?! Stop hiding like a fucking bitch! Just like your mother,” his father spat, his voice growing ever closer and making Junhong squeeze himself further back into the protection of his bed. He could hear a bottle drop, the plastic rolling long the wooden floor and…and into his room. His eyes widened, fear gripping his small body as his tiny hands bunched up, the nails bloodied and chipped from how hard he was scratching at the ground. Junhong could see his father’s boot clad feet walk into the room after the bottle, a large, calloused hand reaching down to grab it._

_And in the process their eyes met. Light, icy grey with dark, dull ash._

_“There you are, you useless son of mine. Look at you, hiding like a stupid animal. You and your mother are really alike. I wish you didn’t exist, my life would be so much easier without you.”_

_Junhong tried really, really, really hard to swallow the protest in his throat, but it came out – the quiet, “You don’t really mean that, dad.”_

_His father laughed, the sound void of warmth and brightness that he remembered it having. Before his dad begun to drink and gamble. Before his family got the servant. Before his mother left. Before everything. It was a cruel sound, his fathers laugh and it made Junhong whimper, his tiny hands balled into fists and rubbing at his tired, raw eyes, wiping unshed tears._

_And then a large hand was creeping underneath the cramped space beneath the bed and Junhong let out a loud wail, moving away from the hand and maneuvering himself out from underneath the bed. His back rubbed against the grainy, wooden beams holding his mattress and it hurt – it hurt so bad – but he needed to get away. He got onto his feet before his father could catch up, stumbling over his legs and making his way out of his room._

_Away from the comforting baby blues and golden accents. Away from the softness of his comforter and his blankets._

_Junhong could hear the footsteps of his father walking after him – not running, just walking, as if he had all the time in the world. But, the ghoul knew better. It was the anger that permeated every step he heard that set him off, his feet working harder to run out of the hallway where his room was located. Why was there house so big when only the three of them lived in it? Junhong bit down on his lip as he jumped down the stairs, his body failing to land as he tumbled over his limbs, slamming his elbow against the wall. He scrambled onto his feet, his oncoming tears blurring his vision as he heard the deep rumble of his fathers voice behind him, so close yet so far and yet it terrified him. It was as if he was right behind him. Junhong could almost smell the alcohol off his breath, the warmth of it right near his ear, the terrible words that fell of his tongue._

_He ran right into a warm body, his tiny hands quickly clutching the soft material of the thin fabric and his face buried in the stomach of whoever it was. He knew who it was. The only person who made him feel safe._

_“Shhh….Shh, hey, it’s okay, Junhong, baby…” The woman cooed, her hands shaking as she ran them through his mop of hair._

_Hyosung – that was her name. She was their human maid, the only person aside from Junhong and his father to live in the big house that they didn’t have to pay for. Why would they have to pay to live in it if Junhong’s father had built it. Originally a paradise for Junhong, his father, his mother and Hyosung to work in, resting far away from the bustle of city life – an hours drive to school; only now, it was hell on earth for the young ghoul._

_“There’s the little fucker.” Hyosung tugged Junhong behind her, her eyes fiery and defiant, even if Junhong couldn’t see them. He knew the look of those eyes, angry and protective. He could hear his fathers footsteps coming closer and then came the familiar sound of a loud slap, skin against skin accompanied by a loud gasp of pain. Junhong clutched the back of Hyosung’s shirt, the tears flowing down his cheeks and hitting the ground, snot dribbling down his nose. He was so scared, so, so, so scared no matter how many times this happened._

_His father laughed and suddenly Hyosung was tugged away, a loud scream of anger and pain ripping through his throat. Junhong was exposed, his eyes widening at the sight in front of him. His father was holding the woman by her hair, her cheek red and raw from the slap – she was clearly crying from the pain, her arms clawing at him. But he was too strong, so strong._

_“Junhong- Junhong, run, run okay?NOW!” Hyosung shouted, her hands finding a grip on the older man’s arm, her knee coming up to kick him._

_And Junhong bolted without having to be told another word. He covered his ears as he ran, his legs taking him as fast as he could and delivering him to the abandoned closet. He locked himself inside, his breathing erratic and fingers digging into his scalp as he desperately tried to block out the loud screaming._

_But it didn’t help. His tears didn’t stop and he couldn’t tell if it was him wailing or Hyosung screaming._

* * *

 

            They’d found his phone.

            Daehyun’s hands held the device tightly, his gold eyes shaking as his lips drawn in a tight line. Jongup stared at him, his gaze flickering to Yongguk, who stood like a statue, his dark eyes shaded and staring longingly at the phone – as if it could bring their friend back. The vampire gave a tug at his shirt, the material clinging to his skin which felt so dirty and grimy. He wanted a shower after walking around almost nonstop for nearly two days now – actually, it was nearing on two days with how the sun was already threatening to set. He also needed to eat. God, he was hungry and the blood bags were still at camp, sitting in the cooler. Idiot, why didn’t he take them?

            “We….” Daehyun’s voice caught up, falling silent and his sentence never finishing.

            “We need to find him.” Youngjae finished for him, his hand falling atop the shapeshifter’s shoulder.

            Jongup looked away, over to Yongguk. Why was he so silent? Why wouldn’t he say anything after the fight with Daehyun? The vampire too, had begun doubting the griffin; whether or not he truly cared. Yongguk turned to Jongup and the doubts melted away, slipping through the cracks like sand.

            He looked like he was in so _much_ pain, his dark eyes dulled and no longer holding that golden flicker to them. Jongup turned away.

            “Let’s keep going. We’re going the right direction, if we found his phone here.” Youngjae continued, shooing Yongguk and Daehyun away after prying Himchan’s phone from the shapeshifters grip.

            They needed to find him before tomorrow night. They were running out of days with only 2 and half left until Saturday – the day they promised to return to the dorms. If the week ran out, they would grow suspicious, not attending or responding to parents. Jongup turned to Junhong, the ghoul’s eyes faraway and his body tensed up, shoulders hunched. He reached out, sliding his hand into the younger monster’s hand and squeezing. “We’ll find him, Junhong.”

            Junhong squeezed his hand back weakly.

            “Let’s keep going, okay?”

            Youngjae led them ahead, Yongguk and Daehyun above the air scouting for anything – a building, a hole. A body, even. Jongup walked a few steps behind Youngjae, side by side with Junhong, their hands still linked. And _God_ , his heart was beating a million miles per second and Junhong’s hand felt so warm in his.

            And this wasn’t the time to gush his feelings out.

            “Jongup,” Junhong began softly, so softly that the vampire barely caught his voice. He turned his head, red eyes flickering in curiosity, “do you think Himchan is fine?”

            Jongup bit the inside of his cheek. Was Himchan fine? He hoped he was. What could he tell Junhong?

            “Himchan is strong, Junhong. If he’s made it this far in life without ever being caught and living through the way Daehyun and Youngjae talk about humans, he knows how to survive.”

            _Maybe_.

            “But what about physically? I mean- They…-Someone must have taken him!” Junhong’s voice rose in pitch, desperation and worry creeping in. He had been silent for a while and it seemed now he finally had the courage to let his thoughts out freely.

            Jongup ran a hand through his hair, grimacing at the dampness from the sweat. God, he wanted a shower. He couldn’t even begin to imagine how worse Himchan was – wherever he was. They needed to find him fast and get home. Any more days without a shower and getting so…sweaty and dirty, and Jongup was sure they would all go crazy. It was stupidly humid in the mornings compared to the cold chill of the night. “He…He probably could have fought them off had he not been so tired, Junhong. I mean, he probably ran a lot and got tired…”

            Junhong’s grip tightened on Jongup’s hand, the hold almost painful. “So, we need to find him. He needs us.”

            “Yeah, Junhong. He does need us.”

            They walked along in more silence, leaves crunching beneath their feet and falling down from the trees around them. Junhong had pulled his hand away from Jongup’s and the vampire missed the comfort, the _warmth_ of Junhong’s hand in his. He didn’t say anything. Instead, he kept walking behind Youngjae, who took on his job of marking where they were with the random pebble towers. It, of course, slowed them down but with Daehyun and Yongguk scouting ahead, it didn’t matter if they lagged behind.

            “I found something!” Yongguk called out, swooping down and landing on the ground. Daehyun came following seconds after, breathless and his eyes wide.

            “ _We_ found something.”

            “It’s a warehouse-”

            “-in the middle of the woods-”

            “-not far from here, let’s-”

            “-go!”

            Jongup looked from Yongguk to Daehyun as they talked over each other, finishing the sentence together. He looked to Youngjae and Junhong, meeting their eyes and nodding slowly.

            “Let’s go,” Youngjae confirmed.

            _We’re coming, Himchan._

* * *

 

             “Yoohoo, wake up!” A voice chirped, too chipper and too bright for Himchan’s aching head. And body, might he add. Himchan let out a grunt, unfurling his legs and stretching them as much as he could, his eyes carefully fluttering open. It was so _bright_ , the fluorescent lights hurting his eyes for a moment. “Oh! He’s waking up, good.”

            Himchan rubbed his eyes, furrowing his brows when two very unrecognizable people appeared into focus before realization flooded him. Yoongi had said two more would come. What were their names?

            Jimin and Hoseok, was it?

            One of them, Himchan didn’t know his name, wore a bright smile, eyes crinkling into crescents and his cheeks were full. A hooked tail swung lazily behind him, dark, bat-like wings resting against his back. Succubus? Or maybe incubus, Himchan guessed mentally, his brows knitted and eyes narrowed as he tried to muster a fierce glare. He was so, so, so tired.

            “Awh, Jimin, he doesn’t seem happy to see us. I’m guessing Namjoon couldn’t do what he does best to this one.”

            That meant the incubus – or succubus – was Jimin. Which labeled the other monster as Hoseok. Hoseok…Hoseok was a cockatrice, if judging by the long, lizard like tail behind him and the feathers scattered across his neck. It was the only creature Himchan had ever read about to have both lizard (or dragon-like, depending on the fairtale) and bird like features.

            Himchan turned his head away, getting a glance at Jin, who was sitting in the cage next to his, his broad shoulders hunched and his eyes downcast. So submissive and so pliant, Himchan could have puked. That _could_ have been him.

            “It’s okay, he’ll get used to it. Might take him a bit longer. Never met a human who never fell for Namjoon’s charms though.” Jimin spoke, his tone chipper and God, too bright and cheery. Himchan wanted quiet, his head was pounding and he was aching from sitting in the small container for so long. “Yoongi said we could take them out and load them for the auction though!”

            Auction? Now? Himchan’s breath caught in his throat, fear bubbling in his gut. No. No, no, no. He couldn’t let himself be taken away – he needed to escape and get out. He clenched his fists, forcing himself to not look up. His eyes burned with tears that refused to fall.

            Footsteps walked away from him, though Himchan could still see there was one figure standing in front of his cage. Which one of the two it was, he couldn’t bring himself to figure out. “I’ll get Jin. You get that one. And then we’ll load the others.”

            “Roger that, Jimin.”

            The cage door opened and Himchan’s body lurched slightly with the urge to just run out, but he couldn’t do that. No, he would ruin his chances. He needed to wait. His mind ran through various scenarios as he let himself be tugged out of the metal holding, his body screaming at him to not be pliant – to not be so willing. He dragged his feet as he was led away, hearing the footsteps behind him. Ones he assumed were Jin’s and Jimin’s. He looked around, studying his surroundings as they exited the large basement – or whatever it was – and walked up a flight of stairs. The lights were dim here compared to the brightness of the fluorescent ones where he was held.

            And then they were walking through an empty area of what looked to be a warehouse, the lights flickering and dim, the walls covered with aluminum and metal bars. Himchan chewed his bottom lip as he followed Hoseok, grimacing at the way the cockatrices’ hand burned his skin at the touch, making him want to pull away. It was itchy and unpleasant.

            “Hoseok, hang on.”

            Hoseok stopped, essentially forcing Himchan to stop as well. “What’s up, Jimin?”

            “Should we get a separate loading cage for the guy you’re holding? The dumb, submissive ones we can just throw together but what about him? He’s clearly got enough brains to think properly.”

            And think properly Himchan did. Hoseok’s grip was slack now and his brain kicked into high gear. Himchan tore away, his other remaining shoe falling off as he pushed his body to the limit, running to the large, open doors ahead of him. He could see the trees – the woods. The freedom. The cement ground dug into his feet, the socks covering them ripping upon the impact. But he didn’t care. He could hear Hoseok and Jimin’s loud yell, the way they began to run after him.

            “Catch him!”

            They wouldn’t find him again if he escaped without a hitch.

            Himchan’s feet touched the dirt ground, crunching with leaves and he let out a loud shout. But he knew he was celebrating too early. He kept running, his chest heaving. He kept running and running and running until he couldn’t hear the monsters behind him. He kept going until his body was yelling at him to collapse and rest – rest for years and years and never wake up.

            If only he could have saved Jin.

            One less human to give up to the system. But he couldn’t.

            Himchan looked behind him, stopping to lean against a tree. He was sweating like crazy, his thin sweater clinging to his body and dampened. Dirty too. His hair was greasy and in a desperate need of a wash from the dirt and leaves stuck in them.

            But he was safe.

            The warehouse was so far – the only thing Himchan could see was the back of it. He’d ran around the side of it, not wanting to go straight in case there were things (read, monsters) in his path. And he was alive. Alive and okay and…and alone.

            Lost. He was lost.

            Himchan looked around, eyes wide as he realised that he’d been unconscious when brought in. Which meant he didn’t know if they’d brought him from the front, sides or the back. Which meant he wouldn’t be able to find the notches he left in the trees.

            He was extremely lost.

            And then he heard it, footsteps and a loud cry of his name. He turned his head around, his eyes growing wide in shock.

            “ _HIMCHAN!”_


	11. Mini Update: May Delete Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll give a little, tiny, tiny spoiler for next chapter as I am preparing for it. But fear not, next chapter will most likely be up by Sunday! I just wanted to pop in and say it's my birthday today! So yay for getting older.  
> I will also be seeing B.A.P in Atlanta in November on the 18th at their concert most likely, so catch me not updating that week as I prepare for the concert.  
> Anyway, I hope you all have a spooky October. I will have a special chapter for Halloween that shows a Halloween from their highschool years, so [SPOILER] there is no Junhong and Jongup.  
> Yell @ me on twt @ SunnieBAP if you want. I won't bite.

_The griffin’s eyes were wide and his lips were drawn into a wide, gummy smile, his eyes crinkled into crescents. He looked absolutely radiant, even if he was sweaty and his hair fell limply in front of his face, greasy and unwashed._


	12. the world isn't kind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Himchan is back. Junhong struggles with his secrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> early update because i managed to finish the chapter this morning !!  
> some yongguk backstory and this chapter (actually, this whole story) is full of symbolism and allegory so, it would be cool to see how you all interpret them and if you can spot them !
> 
> also, i have a little question for you all! Would you all prefer the (short) Halloween chapter before the Big Chapter I have or would you like the Big Chapter before the Halloween chapter?

_2027_

_Yongguk toddled himself over to his parents room, his baby feathers just beginning to form and his tiny wings sitting against his back, spread and useless. He carried with him a toy piano, the dully coloured toy, worn down and old, clutched tightly in his small hands. “Mama! Papa!” He called out, eyes bright with excitement, his voice high pitched and loud, and his words coming out of his mouth excitedly._

_“Oh, our little Bbang!” His dad cooed, scooping him up into his arms, large ivory coloured wings folded neatly against his back. “Look at him, his baby feathers are starting to grow in, dear. Soon his neck feathers will grow in too. Our baby is growing up so fast, isn’t he?” Yongguk grinned, letting out a pleased giggle and attempting to flap the small wings against his back. It didn’t work, of course, as he had no control over them currently._

_His mother walked over, pulling Yongguk from his father’s arms and setting him back down with an amused smile, her eyes bright and affectionate. “Yes, dear, he really is growing up so fast. Now, I’m sure he wanted to show us something, is that right? Go on, sweetheart, show us." Yongguk’s father sat down on the bed, his mother taking a seat next to him. The child griffin sat in front of them on the floor, the toy piano set carefully on the ground in front of him._

_Rather than telling his parents what he had made, the six-year-old began to let his fingers hit the keys on the piano. It was a mess of sounds, but his parents beamed at him nonetheless, clapping their hands when he’d finished._

_“Have you shown Yongnam and Natasha, Yongguk?” His mother asked, her hands clasped in front of her as she looked down at the small griffin._

_Yongguk shook his head and stood up, eyes bright with pride. “No. I go now!” He hurriedly rushed out of the room and went to find his twin brother and older sister. He found the two sitting together on the one computer they had in the small house, Yongnam whining about how unfair it was that Natasha wasn’t letting him play a game. Yongguk tugged on his older sister’s shirt, earning her attention. She gave him a warm smile, moving away from the computer and kneeling in front of the younger griffin – which meant Yongnam got the computer. “What’s up, Bbang?”_

_“I…” He frowned, before realising the toy piano was no longer in his arms. He’d forgotten it! “Right back! Forgot piano.” He turned on his heel, hurrying away and back to his parent’s room._

_“Honey, we can’t have him grow up to be a musician. It’s not profitable…” Yongguk stopped, his eyes widening slightly. He stood behind the door, debating whether to go inside and get the toy, risking interrupting his parents, or to leave. Eavesdropping was bad, after all!_

_There was the click of talons against the wooden floors, a sound Yongguk quickly realised was his mother pacing across the room, her clawed feet moving across the space. “I agree, I really do, but he seems to really like music.”_

_“He’s six, honey.”_

            _“That doesn’t mean he can’t have dreams. He’s going to ruin his life pursuing music and that’s what scares me. He’s already not doing so well in school…”_

_“So, we don’t let him pursue music. We teach him to be a good, mature and polite son and perhaps he’ll realise music isn’t what it seems and choose something else.”_

_Yongguk clenched his tiny fists and turned away from the door, tears welling up in his eyes. His tiny feet pattered against the cool wooden floor as he rushed past Yongnam and Natasha to his room – which he shared with his twin brother. He shut the door and climbed onto his bed, rubbing his eyes and staring at the wall. He’d show his parents. He would become a musician. Even if it meant he had to be better than he already tried to be – respectful, mature (whatever that meant) and kind._

_Because, even if he was six, he understood the world wasn’t kind._

* * *

            _“HIMCHAN!”_

His head whipped around, eyes widening in shock as he saw what the source of the footsteps were. Himchan could have sobbed right then and there but there was no time for that as he was barreled backwards with the force of a body – with very long limbs, may he add. His back hit the ground hard, sending sparks of pain up his spine but he couldn’t care, God, he couldn’t care. He wrapped his arms around the body pressed against him, burying his nose into the strawberry curls and inhaling the scent of sweat and forest. As unpleasant of a smell it was, he couldn’t bring himself to find it gross. The body hugging him tightly isn’t the one that called his name – no, that voice was too high.

            “Junhong- Junhong, God, I fucking- Oh my God-” He blabbered, the tears streaming down his cheeks without a sound. Without him even realising it. “I’ve missed you guys so fucking _much_ – even if…if it’s been barely 48 hours God, it felt so long- fuck, Junhong.”

            “Himchan, Himchan, you’re safe, we’ve been looking for you everywhere!” Junhong cried out, pushing himself off of the older man and wiping his eyes, lips curled up in a watery smile.

            It was only when Junhong got off of him that Himchan realised the others were gathered around, eyes glued on him and making him feel so small. They must have known – they had to know what he was by now, especially now that he was without the makeup.

            “Him…chan…” He turned his head to spot Daehyun, lips quivering and eyes watering with tears. Himchan swallowed. “Himchan-” And suddenly the shapeshifter threw his body onto Himchan’s, hugging him tightly while kneeling on the ground next to him. “Himchan- Himchan, I’m so fucking sorry, I’m so sorry!”

            Himchan wrapped his arms around Daehyun without a second of hesitation, his fingers carding through the dirty hair of his friend. “It’s okay, Daehyun, I forgive you- It’s okay, it’s okay…” His voice broke, another flow of tears starting as the dam broke. Knowing Daehyun was sorry – knowing that the shapeshifter knew he was wrong and that he was admitting it, it made Himchan’s heart soar and his stomach sink. He was happy, he really was, that Daehyun was beginning to admit his wrongdoings and they wouldn’t have a big fight. But at the same time, it was an unpleasant feeling, letting everyone know who – what – he was.

            Daehyun pulled away slowly, his face tear streaked and lips trembling. “We looked really hard fo-for you, Himchan. I’m sorry I ever said-” He stopped himself when he finally got a good look at Himchan, his gold eyes widening. The shapeshifter scrambled away, hand clamped over his mouth. “What-What happened to you, Himchan?”

            Himchan looked down at his ruffled (a very light way to put it) state. His socks were torn and the soles of his feet were caked with dirt and blood, something he didn’t even realise himself. Probably from running across the ground without shoes to protect his feet – especially since he lost the other pair he’d been wearing. His clothes were stained with dirt and ripped, his hair standing on end, dirtied with leaves and soil. He wasn’t _bad_ mentally in comparison to the other humans he’d seen. Jin and the others had been physically clean and tidied, which brought the suspicion that those monsters had definitely cleaned them up.

            Why they hadn’t cleaned him up was beyond him. Perhaps they hadn’t been expecting another human so soon, especially with the auction date coming up. He quickly tore his mind off of the subject and gave Daehyun a tired smile. “Smugglers.”

            Yongguk let out a sound of disgust and Himchan turned to glance at him. _Yongguk_. The griffin stood stiffly, his fists curling and relaxing, lips drawn in a tight line. He looked tired as well, ragged and his eyes were wet. He was holding in tears, Himchan noted.

            “Smugglers? Wh-What do you mean, Himchan? I thought…- Smugglers are just some scare tactic to make sure humans stay in line, they’re…they’re not real.” Daehyun stammered, his golden eyes swimming with confusion.

            Himchan glanced to Youngjae, Jongup and Yongguk – the few who he hadn’t gotten to hugging. He caught Youngjae’s eyes, the kumiho’s brown eyes downcast and shouting ‘sorry’. Jongup looked happy to have found him, though distraught (if his fidgeting and eyes darting around were anything to go by) with how Himchan looked. He turned back to Daehyun. “They’re…real. I only managed to escape because they…they were loading humans to sell off for an auction…”

            Daehyun gagged and turned to his side, dry heaving the lack of food he had in his stomach. Youngjae made his way over, rubbing soothing circles into the shapeshifters back even if he looked as though he wanted to puke himself. The shapeshifter wiped his mouth and coughed roughly, teary eyed once more. “I’m….- Fuck, I didn’t even know, and I…I- Himchan, I…”

            “I know, Daehyun…You were just raised like that, I know…” Himchan smiled at him, dark eyes full of reassurance. He really did mean it this time – the shapeshifter was clearly upset about his actions and words over the years and Himchan was more than ready to forgive him after the events he’d been through. He turned to look at Youngjae, the second perpetrator of the slander. “…Hey, Youngjae..”

            Youngjae chewed his bottom lip, debating whether or not to come over before finally shuffling over and dropping to his knees, pulling Himchan into a tight hug. It was almost suffocating. “I’m sorry too, Himchan. I’m glad…you’re safe. We’re all sorry for…for saying such shitty things about humans and…and I guess after finding out you were one of them, I- We…We changed our minds, me and Daehyun…”

            Himchan chuckled hoarsely, his throat feeling parched with the dried-up tears and lack of something to drink. “I forgive you too, Youngjae…” The kumiho pulled away and brushed his thumb across the dirt smear on Himchan’s cheek.

            “….You’re safe and…-”

            “-and you’re back home,” Yongguk finished for Youngjae, his voice thick with unshed emotion. The sound sent Himchan’s stomach rolling.

            Himchan stood up and helped Youngjae onto his feet before making his way over to Jongup and Yongguk. He could feel the other three staring at him, the feeling creating goosebumps on his skin. He was _fine_ , he really was – but their stares were pitying and worried, and it made him feel weird. Himchan swerved past Yongguk and pulled Jongup into a tight hug, surprising the vampire completely.

            Jongup hesitantly reached around, wrapping his arms around Himchan. He could feel the shorter man bury his face in his neck and Himchan all but carded his fingers through his messy, discoloured and bleached hair. He pulled away, his hands resting on Jongup’s shoulders, his dark, tired eyes staring into wide, red ones. “I missed you too, fangs.”

            The vampire cracked a smile.

            Himchan moved away from Jongup and walked over to Yongguk – _finally_. He moved slow at first, but he picked up his pace and all but threw himself at the griffin. Yongguk caught him in his arms, loud gasps erupting from the others watching as they worried the monster would fall; however, Yongguk’s wings spread out to balance him. Himchan’s grip was tight, his arms wrapped around Yongguk’s neck and his face pressed close to the point their noses were touching. Himchan could feel the rushed beating of his friends heart and the way his breathing grew shallow, the healthy tan of his skin growing flushed on his cheeks.

            “Himchan…” Yongguk murmured, his voice sending something akin to electricity down Himchan’s spine. Even if he was dirty and probably smelled like dirt, grass and who knows what else, the griffin was looking at Himchan as if he held the world in his hands. “I…I missed you.”

            It was as if everyone’s breaths stopped, even the other four watching and the air stilled, filled with silent suspense.

            He could feel something wet roll down his cheeks again and it most likely wasn’t rain. Himchan’s lips spread into a smile, his voice barely above a whisper. He’d missed out on _this_ – this warmth and the feeling of arms around him. He regretted every time he’d ever rejected physical contact, staying far from his friends because monsters _disgusted_ him. But Yongguk…Yongguk felt like the sun was in his arms, his body warm and filling him with something indescribable. And, maybe, being close to his friends – monsters – wasn’t so bad. As long as it was his friends, of course.

            “I missed you too, Yongguk.”

            Himchan closed the distance with zero hesitation, pressing one chaste, dry kiss to the griffin’s lips. He didn’t spare one second to press their lips together again in a more desperate, longing kiss, as if he’d been missing something from his life. A chorus of tired, but excited whoops sounded behind them, mostly from Daehyun and Youngjae, the two freshmen standing still in shock. Leave it to the shapeshifter and kumiho to turn a heartfelt moment – even if between a human and monster – into something for their own amusement. Himchan pulled away, his forehead pressed against Yongguk’s.

            The griffin’s eyes were wide and his lips were drawn into a wide, gummy smile, his eyes crinkled into crescents. He looked absolutely radiant, even if he was sweaty and his hair fell limply in front of his face, greasy and unwashed.

            Before Yongguk could even say anything else, the four other monsters made their way over and enveloped the two – Himchan and Yongguk – into a group hug. Daehyun’s head made its way to rest on Himchan’s shoulder, allowing only him to hear the quiet “I’m sorry” that made him burst into tears again.

            And they were back, all six of them, together again.

* * *

             Junhong bounced his leg in the car, his fingers fidgeting anxiously. He continuously looked over to Himchan, who was conked out and asleep in the front seat. Himchan was okay. He was fine and alive, but Junhong’s mind wouldn’t stop wandering into the thoughts that seemed so _dark_ and so impossible because Himchan was _here_.

            What if Himchan had been tortured and he wasn’t saying anything? What if he was just putting on a strong front because he was a _human_ and their experiences were considered lesser than monsters? What if…What if?

            “-hong. Junhong, hey, you okay?” The ghoul turned, startled out of his thoughts by Jongup’s soft voice, careful not to disrupt the others sitting in the car around them.

            He gave a shaky smile and looked down, nodding. “Yeah, yeah. Just thinking, is all, Jongup.”

            The vampire rested a hand on his arm, the feeling sending those familiar sparks up his skin. Junhong rubbed his eyes tiredly, unable to keep himself from admitting his worries to his closest friend. “I’m just thinking about Himchan, that’s all. I mean, what if he’s putting on a fake front and acting strong? That’s probably the only thing he knows how to do, especially being a human and…and he’s a human and so, so, so different from us, what if he feels more alienated now that we know about him and, Jongup I feel so worried for him it hurts…it-” He couldn’t continue his words, his throat growing constricted.

            “It reminds you of Hyosung?”

            Junhong flinched slightly at the name, peering over to make sure the others hadn’t heard Jongup. Daehyun was focused on driving and thankfully the radio playing softly managed to hide Jongup’s softer voice. Youngjae was playing games on his phone, which surprisingly still had battery life and Yongguk was sleeping, his wings folded uncomfortably. He looked back to Jongup and gave a hesitant little nod.

            “Yeah…Yeah, it does. She was so strong and she pretended to be fine and…and in the end, look where that got her.” Junhong hated admitting his father had been the cause of the human woman’s death – he loathed the fact his father, no his family, even owned a human. “I’m afraid and I…I’m worried about Himchan, what if it’s like Hyosung and he’s pretending to be fine? He’s been through so much and experienced so much as a human hiding as a monster and-”

            Jongup squeezed Junhong’s hand, cutting the ghoul off mid ramble. “Junhong. Himchan _isn’t_ Hyosung, but I’m worried for him too. He is not Hyosung, though. They- You, you cannot compare them, okay? Himchan is Himchan and we – you – have every right to be worried for him. Give him a little time though, okay?”

            “I agree with Jongup, Junhong.” Youngjae chimed in, not even bothering to look up from his phone. Junhong peered over, his grey eyes wide with surprise. “I only caught what Jongup said, don’t worry. You and Jongup should really indulge us in your family life some more, you know? We’ve known each other for what, almost a month and a half? We still know practically nothing.”

            The ghoul swallowed and looked down at Jongup’s hand on his. He quickly laced their fingers together, relishing in the sweet comfort and the way his heart gave a flippant skip. “Some things are better kept to oneself, Youngjae,” Junhong replied quietly, turning his head away and leaning it against the window.

            Youngjae let out a quiet hum. “Got me there, I guess.”

            Yeah, some things were really best kept secret. Junhong glanced down briefly at his and Jongup’s hands, sighing softly, and resigning his feelings to himself – after all, Jongup would never feel the same. They were _just friends_ , after all. Junhong gave one last look to Himchan’s backside in the front seat ahead of him, his clothing changed and looking new, though judging by the way his hair still stuck out in off places, he looked roughed up.

            Junhong turned back to looking out the window, the guilt eating up his stomach.

            Some things really were best kept secret.


	13. Personal Update: Im Sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> read below

i didn't want to make another one but i had to because i really wanted to get this message to everyone (if you dont follow me on twt)

I don't know when I will update. My schedule is wonky and my job has put me on more hours + a new department to work in, so I have to juggle college and work, which leaves me less time to work on the story. I really want to apologize. Plus, my motivation for writing has gone down because of stress and anxiety.  
Rest assured, I will have the Halloween short up by Halloween, but the problem comes the bigger chapters after it, which makes it harder for me to give you all something ;;  
I will continue working on this, do not worry! It just might take me a while to update, so expect the irregular updates after long periods of time.

I love all of you who read this and I thank you all for your support.


	14. HALLOWEEN SHORT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> High School Halloween, ft. Seniors Yongguk and Himchan, Juniors Daehyun and Youngjae

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hi! i'm sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out. i've been feeling a big lack of motivation for a lot of things, but i hope it will pick up sooner or later. i'm also sorry if this chapter is lackluster ;; it's meant as more of some backstory, featuring their halloween preparations. keep your eyes peeled for the next chapter! you'll see youngjae's past ;) + some drama 
> 
> we also see that himchan has actually been hiding his feelings for a while!
> 
> im officially going to see bap in atlanta (my friend got me tickets ;; 200$ gone down the drain) so im excited!!!
> 
> anyway, sorry for this being so long, i just want to apologize again for how quiet i've been. love you all ~

            “You’re an idiot, Yongguk,” Himchan grumbled, rolling his eyes. It was the eve before Halloween and high school had just released its students. The griffin had grabbed Himchan and took him to a costume store. Why did monsters even celebrate Halloween? They already were _monsters_ , what was the point of the getting costumes?

            Yongguk chuckled, his backpack slung over his shoulder as he roamed the aisles with Himchan. “You say that every year, Himchan, and yet you agree and go along with it. What was your costume last year?”

            Himchan sighed, looking at himself in the large mirror, the glistening green scales shimmering on his cheeks. “You made me dress up as that character from the human film you like, V.”

            “V from Vendetta, yeah. We both went as V because you couldn’t decide.”

            He passed by the various costumes, all of them modeled after human creations and some even costumes of humans themselves. An uncomfortable churn to his stomach. “What were you thinking of doing this year?”

            Yongguk walked past Himchan, his eyes scanning the rows of costumes. The store was bustling with monsters picking out last minute costumes, all eager to participate in the human created event that was meant to _ward_ off monsters.

            How ironic.

            “Let’s end our senior year with a bang.”

            Himchan turned to Yongguk and grabbed his arm, raising a brow. “Okay, nice try, Daehyun.”

            ‘Yongguk’s’ eyes widened and he pouted, his form slowly melting into the one and only, Daehyun. The shapeshifter let out a huffy sigh. “Fuck, I was so close this time. Almost had you.”

            “Keyword, _almost_.” Himchan rolled his eyes, “No wonder you were keeping your eyes hidden from me. I would have figured it out immediately.” He shook his head and continued looking around, grabbing a costume off the rack – it was Bob Ross, complete with the button up, pants and the palette. There was sadly, no wig. “Also, Yongguk would never talk like that. You’ve been his friend almost all your life and you still don’t know how he talks?”

            Daehyun scoffed, “Shut up, Himchan.”

            “You were right about the both of us going as V, from V for Vendetta.”

            The shapeshifter bumped shoulders with Himchan, chuckling. “Of course I was, I was there to witness it with Youngjae. Yongguk really made you dress up as him though?”

            Himchan held up the costume to his side, looking at himself in the mirror. He didn’t particularly care about the holiday now, only offering his interest to fit in. “Yep. By the way, you’re buying my costume since you dragged me here.”

            Daehyun let out a gasp as though he were offended, his lips tugged into a smile. “You’re just using me because I’m rich, Himchan. I can’t believe you!”

            “Oh, stuff a sock in it, Daehyun.” Himchan rolled his eyes and made his way to the counter to check out, dropping his costume on the counter. “Pick a costume and let’s go. By the way, where did the _real_ Yongguk go?”

            The shapeshifter grabbed a costume off the shelf, tossing it on the counter as he spoke. “Mmnh, dunno. But he said for me to take you shopping for costumes-”

            “He said what, now?”

            “-and then he’s meeting us at Youngjae’s place.”

            Himchan blinked, the cashier – a human – scanning the items and bagging them giving a cautious look to the monsters. Or, rather _monster_. “Youngjae’s place? Aren’t his parents going to be there? And why would Yongguk tell you to take me out shopping?”

            Daehyun pointed an accusatory finger at Himchan, to which he swatted away with a stern “I’m your elder” and sighed. “ _Because_ , he knew you wouldn’t want to get a costume this year either. Do you not like Halloween or something? Despite being so utterly stupid,” the shapeshifter gave a look at the human cashier, who seemingly shrunk in on himself, “humans made a cool holiday. What was it for again?”

            “To ward off monsters,” Himchan supplied begrudgingly, tired of hearing the same Halloween spiel from Daehyun. No matter how many times he heard it, it always hurt. He had recently moved out of the outskirts – of course, no one knew of this – and into his own little house. Run down, sure, but it was the best he could do as a senior in high school. It still felt as though he could be caught any second and Daehyun’s constant human degradation made Himchan feel even more anxious, especially now that he no longer lived with his parents (of course it made it easier on him so that he didn’t have to sneak out constantly at the break of dawn to get to school).

The shapeshifter handed the cashier his card, turning slightly to look at Himchan. “Which doesn’t make sense because we never really existed on this…er, land? Whatever, we never existed here, so how would they know about us?”

            “Yeah, weird. I know Daehyun, you go over this same exact spiel every Halloween.” Himchan took his costume from the man behind the register with a polite smile, which was not exactly what Daehyun did as he snagged his costume (and card) and shot the human a sneer. “Anyway, Youngjae’s place?”

            Daehyun nodded. “Yep, Youngjae’s place.” The shapeshifter made a move to pat Himchan’s back before rethinking and leading the way out the door. Himchan exhaled in relief and followed his younger friend out of the shop, clutching the Bob Ross costume close to his chest.

            “Are we walking?”

            “Would you rather fly?” Daehyun asked, cocking a brow as he turned around to face Himchan. In response, Himchan shrugged. It would be faster than walking all the way to Youngjae’s house from the shop. They’d walked to the shop from school as it was closer, but walking to Youngjae’s from the shop….Yeah, no.

            Himchan rolled the costume up carefully and slipped it into his bag slung over his shoulder. “Fuck, why not? It’s faster.” And he’d be more willing to have any semblance of contact with Daehyun in a different form.

            Daehyun chuckled and adjusted his bag, making sure everything was there before he shifted, forming himself into a griffin. He turned to Himchan, rearing his head and motioning for the older to get on his back. Himchan walked over, suddenly realising how Daehyun’s griffin form bore a striking resemblance to Yongguk’s colouring. With a weird rhythm to his heart, Himchan carefully hoisted himself atop of Daehyun’s back, huffing when the monster let out a fake grunt of effort.

            “I’m not fucking heavy.”

            With what Himchan assumed was a laugh, Daehyun spread his wings and took off into the bright sky, the cool wind rustling the feathers. It felt nice on Himchan’s body, his fists curled tightly into the soft feathers as the cool air ran through his blonde hair and ruffled it. With fall upon them, the air smelled crisp and sharp, hinted with the spices of the holiday and the turning leaves.

            Probably Himchan’s favourite season.

            They flew for almost ten minutes, the scenery below them miniscule and the clouds sparse in the sky. It was effortless, the way Daehyun moved in the air and Himchan envied him just a little bit. Actually, he envied all the monsters. They seemed to be so much _better_ equipped to do things that human’s couldn’t without the help of man-made products. Daehyun let out a low thrum that steadily grew louder until it reached a sort of garbled growl, his head motioning downwards as he circled a house. They’d arrived.

            “Be careful with landing, dickhead.” Himchan muttered, his fists tightening slightly. Daehyun slowly began to descend, each beat of his wings loud and sending gusts of wind through the already broken air. It was messy and definitely uncoordinated as the shapeshifter’s griffin body wobbled in the air, and then skidded to a stop on the ground, the loud screeching of nails against the concrete making Himchan groan.

            “I told you to be careful landing.” Himchan hopped off of Daehyun’s back, letting the shapeshifter morph back into his human stature.

            Daehyun shrugged, letting out an exaggerated sigh. “I _tried._ Anyway, lets go inside.” Flashing Himchan a cocky grin, Daehyun walked up to the door and made himself welcome without even knocking, his frame disappearing into the house. Himchan followed, albeit hesitantly, and entered the house, shutting the door behind him. It wasn’t even decorated at all! He furrowed his brows and looked around, trying to spot his friends, but it was as if Daehyun vanished into thin air as soon as stepping in – and the other two were nowhere to be found.

            “Daehyun! Yongguk! Youngjae!” He called out, dropping his backpack on the couch and clearing his throat. Youngjae’s house was two stories, so maybe they were upstairs? Himchan crossed his arms and turned around, walking up the stairs and making his way to the rooms on the second floor. He could have been doing better things right now, like his homework and the music portfolio he had due for his music class. But no, he was in Youngjae’s house for Halloween and searching for the three idiots. Himchan walked along the hallway, passing by closed doors before he reached a door with Youngjae’s name across it. He extended a hand to grab the handle, however before he could do that the door swung open on its own, revealing two masked faces.

            And Himchan screamed – in surprise, of course. A curse ripped his throat and he stumbled backwards, bumping into a body and clinging to it slightly, eyes blown wide. “What the _FUCK_?!” His hands were curled into fists in soft fabric, though his eyes were locked onto two monsters laughing hysterically, the weird masks off of their faces.

            “Oh my God, we got him this year! Finally, for once you were actually scared!” Youngjae chortled, his tail flicking enthusiastically with glee. His cheeks were glowing with a sort of accomplishment, Daehyun’s arms slung around him as they hopped around in joy.

            Himchan only clutched whatever fabric he was holding tighter before realising that he _was_ holding something. He looked behind him, seeing Yongguk standing there with a bewildered look on his face, his cheeks completely red. “Oh- Yongguk,” Were the only words that fell from Himchan’s mouth. His heart gave a lurch and he could feel his knees get wobbly, which was not a good sign.

            “…Channie, er…They got you this time?”

            Himchan quickly pried himself away, clearing his throat and nodding. He turned his head, partially because he was embarrassed looking at Yongguk right now and gave Youngjae and Daehyun a glare. “You guys are going to get it later.”

            Daehyun stuck out his tongue. “What, you gonna shove our faces in the toilet or something? Come on, Himchan. Go get dressed in your costume and let’s go to the actual party! Some graduate of the high school is throwing it, and he said anyone was invited.” The shapeshifter grabbed Youngjae’s arm and then Yongguk’s, pulling them both along downstairs and leaving Himchan to mull his decisions.

            He only had one decision, didn’t he?

            With a heavy sigh, he made his way downstairs where his bag was, ignoring Daehyun’s ‘ _hurry up_ ’ as he carried himself to the bathroom to get changed. It was a quick transformation, just putting on the button up shirt and wig (which was _so_ itchy), and then grabbing the palette. He exited the bathroom and looked at the others, finally getting a look at their costumes.

            This year, Yongguk opted to dress up as Jack Sparrow, a new touch. Youngjae was a zombie kumiho…? What an odd mix, but it wasn’t uncommon for monsters to dress up as other monsters nowadays. Daehyun was a character from a horror movie Himchan remembered watching. Scream, was it?

            “Okay, done. How far away is this party?”

            Youngjae chuckled, “So you can go home early and do homework? Okay, Himchan, don’t worry, we can walk there. We’ll only be there for two hours. Yongguk can take you home early if you want.”

            Himchan grimaced at the idea of Yongguk, or any of them, seeing his rundown apartment. “No, I’m good. Let’s just go then.” He followed the three out of Youngjae’s house, stepping into the same pace as Yongguk as they traversed the sidewalk. Daehyun and Youngjae chattered animatedly ahead, clearly excited (as they were every year) about the fantastic holiday. It would be their first time ever going to a Halloween party, actually.

            “Chan, are you sure you’re fine with going to the party?” Yongguk asked, glancing over at him just as they neared the house, already booming with music, colourful and spooky decorations littering the outside.

            Hesitating (and slightly flustered), Himchan answered. “I’m fine. I should let loose every once in a while, right? It’ll be fun.” Yongguk gave him a worried look, Daehyun and Youngjae already disappearing into the house. With a smile, Himchan motioned for Yongguk to go inside. “Go, go. I’m right behind you.”

            Once the griffin disappeared behind the doors, Himchan faltered outside. He looked at the sky and the way it was beginning to grow dark, the colours swirling together in a haze. He could let loose once, right? As long as he forgot about the way Yongguk made him feel. Exhaling, Himchan made his way inside to join his friends.

            Having _one_ good Halloween couldn’t be bad.


	15. me and you - it's official

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group plans Junhong's birthday. Himchan is trying his hardest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, I wanted to get out a Christmas or New Years chapter, but I couldn't ;; I'm so, so sorry for the long hiatus. I promise that I'll try to not have another hiatus. The chapter is kind of...unsatisfying for me, personally, but I think I've left you all for so long that I have to post it. Thank you all for reading this mess, I genuinely appreciate it. I know there are probably a lot of mistakes regarding the way time passes in the fic or things like that, but I really didn't expect this fic to get as far as it did, so it's super messy aaaa ;^; I'm sorry for that.
> 
> Happy New Year!!

**_2032_ **

            _“Youngjae!”_

_The kumiho let out a tired whine from his spot on the couch, the nine-year-old setting down the game station. “Yes, mama?” He’d left school early, feigning being sick and had gotten caught up with a few games that a child would find important._

_His mother appeared through the kitchen doorway, a smile playing on her face. “Dinner is ready. Are you feeling better, sweetpea?”_

_Youngjae nodded, hopping off the couch and heading over to his mother. Her tail flicked, long and furry, and gave his head a gentle pat. He beamed, swatting it away lightly as he clambered up onto his chair at the table. His mother followed suit, her voice cooing and loving as she called his father to come eat._

_With all of them seated, Youngjae kicked his feet happily, glancing from his mother and his father as they spoke. He couldn’t really grasp what they were talking about, only catching certain bits and pieces but unable to connect them to anything he knew about. They were laughing, making remarks about something called a “human”. It was a word he heard often, but he’d never gotten a good explanation on it. They didn’t teach it in schools! He tried really hard to understand what they were saying – they never really did include him in conversations. It became a habit for the nine-year-old to just eavesdrop, his ears twitching curiously._

_“It was the first time I’d ever seen a human trying to buy a house!” He heard his mother croon, a disbelieving and mocking tone to her voice. “I mean, what kind of human leaves their sanctuary to try and buy a house? Gosh, I almost laughed at the poor guy. It’s so sad, isn’t it dear?”_

            _Youngjae furrowed his brows. Sanc-chu-airy? What was that? “Mama, what’s a sanc-chu-airy?”_

_His mother looked at him, a warm smile forming on her face as she reached over to pat his face. “Oh, it’s nothing sweetpea. This is grown up talk, okay?” The child kumiho pouted and nodded, his eyes downturned to the food on his plate._

_Grown up talk. He hated that word. He hated the ‘humans’ that made his parents do that stupid grown up talk. Whatever ‘humans’ were. “I’m full, mama.” Youngjae mumbled, pushing his plate away and jumping down from his seat._

_“You barely touched your food, Jae.” His father spoke, tone stern but soft and curious. “Are you really that full?”_

_Youngjae nodded, not bothering to look at his parents. “Yup. I’m gonna go play games now.” Without another word, the kumiho waddled his way out of the dining room, going back to his discarded game station. He could still hear his parents from this distance as they resumed talking, his cheeks jutting out in a frustrated pout. It was more talk about ‘humans’ and ‘sanctuaries’ and some new words the boy hadn’t heard before: ‘selling humans’ and ‘sorry excuses’._

_What did those even mean? Youngjae didn’t know, but he started to realise that these ‘humans’ his parents spoke about weren’t good._

_But what did he know? It was all just grown up talk after all._

* * *

 Daehyun pursed his lips, his body splayed on the bed, limbs hanging off the bed. It had been a few days after their camping trip mishap and Himchan seemed….like he always was. Uptight, polite smiles and his _regular_ personality. Whatever that meant. But they had been treating him differently. More delicately.

            They didn’t know how to act around humans.

            Rubbing his eyes, the shapeshifter groaned and rolled over, staring up at his ceiling. Would it have been better to not know about Himchan’s true self? Or would it have been better to just leave him in the woods- No. Daehyun scowled, furrowing his brows. He couldn’t think like that. Himchan was their friend, someone precious to them all. They would get through this. They just needed to treat Himchan like a monster, right? Except he wasn’t a monster and it was so confusing, trying to figure out how they could interact with him, without it seeming like pity.

            “Daehyun! Come on, lazy ass. We have to go!” Youngjae’s voice echoed through the dorm room and the shapeshifter sat himself up, calling back.

            “What? Did we have plans?”

            A loud gasp and suddenly Youngjae’s head popped in through the door, his eyes wide. “Don’t tell me you forgot? Did you even look at your phone? We’re supposed to meet up with Jongup.”

            Daehyun blinked. Meet up with Jongup? For what? He couldn’t remember exactly when they had planned this. “Meet….with Jongup?”

            Youngjae deflated, his hand coming up to his face. “To plan Junhong’s surprise birthday party, idiot. His birthday is in a month, October 15th. He’s gonna turn 22, the little freshie.”

            _Oh._

            “I completely forgot, holy shit. Yeah, yeah, give me 2 minutes to get changed then. Is Himchan gonna be there? You know he never misses out on parties.” It was a sarcastic remark, of course. Himchan, the book-nerd he was, typically missed out on a lot of parties if they didn’t drag him along. A fond smile crossed Daehyun’s face before it disappeared. Would Himchan even want to go to parties with them anymore? It must have been stressful, right?

            “Come on, get out of la-la land. Me and Yongguk are going to wait by the front door, okay?”

            Daehyun nodded. “Yeah, okay.” He watched Youngjae leave and got out of bed, shuffling to his drawer. He rummaged through his clothes and managed to find something more decent than his pajama’s. Now changed and ready to go, the shapeshifter snagged his phone and made his way to the front door where Youngjae and Yongguk stood.

            “His highness has finally arrived,” Youngjae drawled, his lips curled into a teasing smile. Yongguk seemed to let out a soft chuckle, clearly finding it funny.

            “Shut up, Jae. Are we gonna pick up Himchan or is he gonna meet us there?”

            Youngjae slipped his arm around Daehyun’s as he spoke, keeping himself close. “He’ll meet us there. Actually, he’s probably already there and fuming because we’re late.”

            Daehyun rolled his eyes. “Oh boy, I’m shaking in my boots. The thought of a mere human scares me- Oh. Fuck, shit. I’m sorry.” Almost immediately he realised what he’d said, his hand coming up to cover his mouth. He looked over to Yongguk, who offered him a sympathetic smile. “Won’t happen again.” The shapeshifter mumbled after removing his hand, looking to Youngjae. “Let’s go? We’d better not keep Himchan waiting.”

            Yongguk exited the dorm first, waiting for the other two to walk out before he locked the door behind them. There wasn’t anyway all three of them would fit on Yongguk’s motorcycle, which was a let down for Daehyun. He’d been looking forward to catching a ride on the bike, but dammit, Yongguk was just too stingy!

            Instead, they ended up walking there, the fall air gentle against their skin. Daehyun was grateful for the chilly but warm weather. It meant they didn’t have to bundle themselves up. Yet, of course. By October - November they would have to bundle up since their human-like bodies weren’t accustomed to the cold. How disappoint- No. Daehyun shook his head as they walked, reprimanding himself for thinking like that. Bundling up wasn’t a hassle at all. On the contrary, it did allow room for _some_ fashion.

            Yeah, it was fine bundling up.

            “Look who’s waiting,” Yongguk spoke as they reached the glass café doors, the figures of Himchan and Jongup visible through it. They were sitting in a corner of the café, drinks already in front of them. Daehyun shifted forward and opened the door for Youngjae and Yongguk, smiling.

            “Ladies first.”

            Youngjae smacked him over the head for that, but Daehyun didn’t mind, a hearty chuckle escaping him as he followed the two of them inside. He opened his mouth to say ‘hi’ but stopped himself as Jongup had already turned to see them.

            “Hey, guys.” The vampire smiled, his fingers wrapped around a cup of warm coffee. “You guys can order drinks, I’ll pay for them. Me and Himchan haven’t thought of anything yet.”

            Daehyun glanced over to Himchan as he hadn’t really spoken anything. Which was weird, considering he’d been normal after the event. What was up now? He was looking down at his cup of an iced americano, clearly not paying attention. The shapeshifter moved closer but was stopped by Yongguk, the griffin shaking his head in silent disapproval. Daehyun grit his teeth but stood down, flashing a forced smile at Jongup. “Gotcha. Hey, Jae, what do you want to drink?”

            Youngjae shrugged, “Anything, I don’t have a preference. Actually, no wait. Get me an iced americano.”

            It was now that Himchan spoke, his eyes lined with lack of sleep. “You’re not going to like it, Youngjae.”

            “Awwh, come on. I just want to try it. Daehyun, please?”

            The shapeshifter gave a shrug. “Whatever Jae wants, Jae gets. Yongguk?”

            “Mmnh, no, I’m fine.”

            With a hum, Daehyun made his way to the register to get drinks for him and Youngjae, making a note to let them know Jongup was paying later.

* * *

              “I’m gonna go to the restroom while he gets drinks.” Himchan murmured, standing up from the table and making his way to the bathroom without waiting for any of them to speak. He’d been having a rougher time keeping his façade of ‘cool, calm and collected’ with the cascade of nightmares that plagued him.

            However, he also didn’t want to seem weak – for them to pity him and baby him. He was a grown man, for fucks sake! He’d heard of the stories, so why was he still so _scared_?

            _Because experiencing it is scarier than hearing it_ , his mind supplied helpfully as he stared himself down in the reflection. The green scales littered his face, drawn as perfect as they always had been. For once in his life, Himchan wished he’d been born a monster.

            And that thought scared him.

            “Channie….?”

            Himchan jolted, spotting Yongguk behind him in the mirror. He only offered a small smile at his…boyfriend? Friend? What they were, he didn’t know; but what he did know was that Yongguk was his comfort. A presence he could relax around.

            “Do you want to talk?” The griffin asked, moving closer and standing next to Himchan, shoulder touching shoulder.

            Himchan let out a long sigh, all the air leaving his lungs and forcing him to take the ache of the lack of air. An inhale, “I keep...having nightmares, of what could have happened...of being found again. I haven’t slept very well and keeping up with the school work like this is hard.”

            Yongguk let out a hum. Himchan knew he couldn’t relate to the fear, but he knew Yongguk could _sympathize_. And maybe that’s all he needed.

            “You know I can’t even begin to understand what you’re going through, but I’m here for you, Himchan. Next time you have a nightmare, you can call me, okay? I’ll pick up right away.” The griffin turned to look at Himchan, a small, warm smile gracing his lips. It sent warmth flooding through Himchan’s body and he could only smile in return, knocking shoulders with Yongguk.

            “Thank you,” he said, the thankfulness pouring out of his voice like a waterfall, “but, we should get heading back, huh? I’m sorry, you didn’t have to come check up on me.”

            The griffin shook his head, “No, it was something you needed, I could tell.” With a soft nudge, Yongguk let Himchan walk out of the bathroom first, following behind him.

            The worried looks on everyone’s faces as he emerged, whether it be with Yongguk or not, made Himchan feel guilty. He sat down and cleared his throat, feeling their eyes on him, unsaid words forcing him to apologize.

            “I’m sorry, I just needed a breather.”

            The others, clearly not sure what to do with the apology. Turned to look at each other. Until Youngjae piped up with a joke, unable to handle the atmosphere.

            “Heh, Himchan you were right, the iced americano is un _bear_ able.”

            Almost immediately the table erupted into groans, including Himchan, his eyes rolling as he took his iced americano back into his hands. “Your humor is terrible, Youngjae.” But it was a thankful release from the awkwardness earlier and Himchan appreciated it, shooting the kumiho a small smile.

            Jongup took a sip of his drink and then cleared his throat, getting their attention. “So…about Junhong’s birthday….”

            Oh. Right, the whole purpose of them meeting was to figure out what to do for Junhong’s birthday. The ghoul had been ‘convinced’ (read, forced) by Jongup to go to the salon and re-dye his hair because, according to Jongup, ‘the pink had faded way too much’.

            Of course, it gave them time to talk for an hour or two.

            “Do we want to host it in your dorm room..? Or maybe book a party room?” Daehyun asked, slightly interrupting the vampire from his talk.

            Yongguk pursed his lips, fingers tapping the table. “I think your dorm would be nice. I get the feeling Junhong would be more comfortable there. Himchan?”

            Himchan blinked, his mind swirling with thoughts. “Uh, d-dorm is nice. Sorry, I zoned out.”

            Jongup flashed a toothy, reassuring smile. “It’s fine. So, our dorm is the location. One of us is going to have to distract him for at least an hour, at most three, while we get the dorm decorated.” He took another leisurely sip of his coffee and set it down. “We can split up. Three people with Junhong and two to decorate the dorm.”

            “Me, Daehyun and Yongguk could take Junhong out to play sports for a while. You and Himchan could decorate?” Youngjae suggested, shrugging his shoulders. “He likes sports, as do us three, so it’ll be easier to take him out. _And_ Himchan’s a good cook.”

            Himchan didn’t mind that at all so he nodded in agreement. “I’m cool with that as long as everyone else is.”

            A chorus of agreements and their plans were beginning to set in stone – yet, Himchan just couldn’t shake off the weird feeling in his gut. He chalked it up to nervousness in planning a birthday party for Junhong.

            Daehyun leaned back in his seat, running a hand through his hair. “So, what is everyone going to get him?”

            Fuck, _presents._

            “I think I’m going to get him a stereo, so that when he and Jongup practice dance they can use it.” Youngjae grinned proudly at his idea for a gift, glancing to Jongup who flushed slightly, clearly embarrassed that he was considered in Youngjae’s gift.

            Yongguk looked at Himchan and smiled, glancing at Jongup. “I think me and Himchan will compose a song for him. He can put together choreography to it if he wanted.”

            Himchan blinked in surprise. Him and Yongguk? Compose a song as a gift? Within a _month_? “Uh, yeah, yeah. Me and Yongguk will do that.”

            Daehyun made a soft ‘oooh’ sound and furrowed his brows, thinking of what he could give Junhong. While he was thinking, Jongup hopped in with his birthday gift suggestion. “I’m going to get him a dog.”

            They all turned to the vampire, eyes wide. “A _dog_?” They chorused incredulously. Jongup turned red, looking away.

            “He’s…always wanted a dog, so I saved up for one.”

            “Holy shit, Jongup.” Daehyun breathed, clapping his hands together. “In that case why don’t I gift him dog food and toys? That way he doesn’t have to spend money on them.”

            Jongup scratched his neck, fangs peeking out as he gave the shapeshifter a thankful smile. Himchan finished his drink while completely zoned out because _holy shit_ Jongup was whipped, and it was obvious. He only pulled away from his drink when it started to make noise as he reached the end, slurping loud.

            “I guess our plans are set in stone then?” Youngjae asked, his drink barely half finished. Himchan could tell he wasn’t a big fan of the americano.

            Jongup nodded slowly. “Yeah, I guess they are. Thank you guys for meeting up.”

            “Nah, thank you for paying for drinks, dude. You’re the bomb.” Daehyun grinned, patting the vampires back. “I guess we part ways now?”

            Youngjae snorted, “You make it seem like we’re not going to see each other for like 4 years. But, anyway, see you guys later. Yongguk, are you going to take Himchan home like always?”

            Himchan glanced over to Yongguk and smiled softly. He didn’t mind – he’d come to realise he liked walking home with Yongguk.

            “Yeah, I’m going to walk my boyfriend home.”

            And before anyone could even begin to process what Yongguk had said, Himchan was whisked from his seat by a strong, warm hand and walked outside. His face was red as he walked next to Yongguk and one look over to the griffin revealed the older man was also embarrassed by his bold statement.

            Inside the café, the other three were still sitting in stunned silence before erupting in cheers (quiet ones, because they were still in a public place). They rushed outside to wave the two older students out, whistling.

            Himchan squeezed Yongguk’s hand, his face hidden as a smile spread across his face. The word continued to echo in his mind. _Boyfriend_ – it had a nice ring to it, Himchan decided.

            _Boyfriend._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to blurb a bit about the concert - It was AMAZING. I miss them so much still. It was an absolute blast and Himchan had a short interaction with me, where I waved at him and he waved back and then laughed at me for getting embarrassed and hiding behind the banner I was holding.  
> Also! Junhong took notice of me on Twitter when he did the 'mention party'. ;; I didn't expect him to, but I told him I loved him and he responded with 'Me too'.  
> I'm a very happy boy!


	16. The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.

Hi, Sun here. It was genuinely fun to write this fic and get input from my friends as it went along. 15 chapters! (14, not counting the authors note scattered inside). It's been so long since I last updated, that I've lost any and all motivation I had for writing this fic. I suppose I'm not very good with story-line fics as I am with single one-shot fics.

The real purpose of my message, as you may have noticed, is that I am permanently dropping this fanfic. I've lost the enjoyment in writing and now it feels a bit like a chore and obligation, rather than something fun. Regardless, it was a fun experiment and concept to do, and I was really happy with all the feedback. I won't stop writing fanfics, but I will be dropping this one in particular to focus my energy elsewhere.

 

Thank you all so much for reading. And I'm sorry.


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